Happy Halloween!

31 10 2008

Happy Halloween Everyone!!! (this post is in orange, in case you’re reading in reader) How’s Halloween so far? Well, ‘lissa and I didn’t find any ‘ween shirts last night, so I’m in a black v-neck (I know!  right?!) and my moonphase necklace. Thought I had “Wax Trax Black Box” Disc two in YOT, but alas… no “Everyday is Halloween” for me.  I settled for “Broken” by my boyfriend. In spirit of not having said CD, here is the video (well, I don’t know if it’s “THE” video, but whatever)

Oh, my costume, well, I am going as The Lion from Kenya.

Holy Crap!  Lions!

Holy Crap! Lions!

Well, like a lion-sheep hybrid as my costume is well, I think we’ll need to get video.

Costume Surprise (um, not sure if it’s a good surprise)

29 10 2008

Okay, so The Costume Dilemma 2008…
How to make my [costume’s] head big, really big, without adding weight.

Methods attempted:
– Make a pocket and stuff with pillow lining
– Use cardboard to create a suspension system
– Fold extra fabric inside
– Use some kind of wiring to make a circle to fur over

Giving up and thinking maybe I should just go as a ghost, I talked with an artist friend and he came up with a contraption involving coat hangers and glue and cardboard and well, I had to shelf the idea when I realized I did not have any metal hangers.
So, I had one of those strokes of genius and decided to cut individual pieces of the big part, wrap them in faux fur and arrange in a pattern.
Well, except my pieces don’t really look like the model/inspiration and some are REALLY big and just flop over.
I look a little bit more like a sheepises then a Trent Reznor.  That’s okay though, because with the assisting schtick, I should be okay.

In my defense, I was holding a glue gun (yes, I own AND USE a glue gun) and was gluing items to my skull.

And then I ran out of glue sticks.

So, I’m pretty much done at this point, less for tail attachment and glove attaching (which won’t happen  until Friday anyway)…

Now, to figure out how to finish Steve’s in a manner that will be acceptable to The World’s Most Nit-Picking Man*.

*Seriously… for his Sir Galahad costume, he “had” to make his shield and cross to the same proportions as in the movie; including positioning of pieces and proper holding techniques.

Letters Best Not Sent

28 10 2008

Inspired by Lucky’s Love Letters, I am so totally stealing the idea… switching gears from hiaku to “letters best not sent”, I present “Letters Best not Sent”.

Dear “Most Annoying Sabres Fan, Ever” Who Sits One Seat Up and Over,

Dear Other Sabres Fans Section 308,
You’re in the 300s, they can’t hear you.

Dear “Most Annoying Sabres Fan, Ever”,
If you know so goddamn much about hockey, how come the NHL hasn’t called you to coach?

Dear Sassy Teenagers Who Wander Around Downtown When You Should be in School,
I recommend visiting The Rath Building.  That’s where the social services offices are located and I’m sure you’ll be there soon enough.

Dear Bald Guy Across the Building,
Do you have any idea how hard it is not to enter your office and rub my hand across your head to elicit a “squee squee squee” noise?

To the Sofa Salesman at Sofas Etc.,
First, when I ask to see information regarding the specifics of the sofa, it does not mean you give me warranty information.  Second, when I ask for information regarding the sofa, don’t nudge my husband and refer to me as “studious”.  Third, we’re buying a sofa, not a car.  Please don’t ask us to “make an offer” and you’ll take it to your manager.  Do you think we’re stupid enough to overpay for a piece and then have you lower the price only to “add on” the warranty.  P.S. the statute for cushion warranty in NY is five years, not seven.

(repeat from Lucky’s post)
Dear Co-Worker With a Case of Overshare,
Please do not tell me about your period.

Two Things: “Why We Have a Dog” and “Sometimes Jokes Aren’t Jokes”

27 10 2008

Why We Have a Dog

After an evening of poor, poor judgment, I awaken in the bathroom, dehydrated and cotton-mouthed.  I call out, “Steve.”  A few minutes later… “Steve!”  After no response (the man can sleep though anything) “STEVE!”
“Can you get me a glass of water and a straw please?”
“Um, I’m having a bit of hard time myself.”
“I have some gatorade though.”
“I don’t think I should get up.” I say.  “Can you give it to Bailey and she can bring it to me?”
“Bailey, get down.  No.  Down.  Get down.  Take nice.  No, get down.  Come here.  Take nice.  nice.  It’s okay.  Good girl.  Go show mommy.”
“Beeze!  Whatchagot?”
In comes Bailey with a bottle of sweet delicious gatorade, which she drops on my blanket.

Sometimes Jokes Aren’t Jokes
We often joke about the chinese food place we frequent.
Actually, we joke about every chinese food place, because that’s how we roll.
I finally feel like I’m ready to face the world after sleeping on the sofa all day and we head out to pick up some AV equipment with the intention of hooking up with some wonton soup.
We’re in the plaza across from chinese food place and I mention that it looks dark [at the restaurant].
We drive over and there is a sign on the door, “Close Today”.
Frantic, we find another CFP and joke that our CFP must have been serving cat.
This morning, I’m listening to the radio while getting dressed and I hear that our CFP is closing due to (wait for it) the butchering of a deer.
The Health department isn’t sure if it was roadkill or what, but less to say, um…. yeah…

Today’s Internal Conversation: Apres Work

23 10 2008

Following is another “rationalizing” conversation I’m having with myself regarding what to do after work.

  • Go to the gym!
  • Go home make dinner, make pumpkin cookies and finish the basement.
  • I told you to go the gym.
  • No.
  • YES!
  • You can work out with Gilad this afternoon.
  • You could use that gym membership you’re already paying for.
  • Meh.
  • Why bother charging your iPod if you’re not going to use it?
  • Just not feeling, gymmie.  Did you see how much weight I’ve lost WITHOUT the gym.
  • Is that an excuse?
  • Yes.
  • Go for cardio.
  • Hmmmm… but, um, the gym is so crowded!
  • And?
  • damn it.
  • It’ll be forty-five minutes out of your day, you can go home, shower and give your owl pants a proper reception.
  • That does sound awfully tempting.
  • See?
  • And then I can stop having internal discussions about going to the gym.
  • Remember that you already packed your clothes in the trunk.
  • That’s true, I did…


Looks like I’ll be re-acquainting myself with Various Contraptions of Evil prior to ruining baking pumpkin & cream cheese cookies.
(can you believe I’ve been here over a month WITHOUT bringing in some confectionery disaster?!)

Just Saying

23 10 2008

If you walk up to my desk and start talking and I turn away or start typing/reading/filling out forms/making notes, it means I don’t want to talk to you.
It’s not that I’m overwhelming busy, it’s just that you talk in constantly talk in pronouns and it drives me mad.

Just Saying.

Also, bitching all week about [your lack of money] and then telling me that you’ve started holiday shopping only makes me less tolerant.

Just saying.

Cartoon Stephanie Deals with Dumb Weather

22 10 2008

(transaction complete)

More Wholesome ‘weening

21 10 2008

A week ago, CWG posted about Halloween Costumes and how they needent be purchased.

I was trying to find the photo of my first realized Halloween but alas, it is MIA.
Draped in a white sheet and with some face paint applied, the story goes that before I went “twik er tweetin” the mirror was brought out and I scared myself.  I screamed, well, like a banshee.

Seems the more of these stories I tell, the more things make sense eh?

Years later, I went as the “typical” costume.

I loved wearing that witch hat and would long to wear it like other girls wore princess dresses.

Also worth mentioning is the cutting edge stereo system.

Yessiree, that would be a reel-to-reel audio device, a turntable (which I now own and listen to The Smiths on) and manual equalizer.
We were a bit of audiophiles.

Also also worth pointing out (despite the glare) is a “piano window”.

A little research told that the house (the haunted house as mentioned a few posts ago) was built in 1917.  The window is leaded stained glass.
Due to the type of glass that was used, the sunlight “dis”colors some of the pieces, making them rose-colored.
In my late childhood, Dad cut out this back wall and installed a patio door.
This window resides in my home now.
(Enough with the history)

A few years later, it was ’round about ‘ween time and I didn’t know what to be.
M&D watched an episode of Today where they were shown how to make a mouse costume.

and here is it.
And there I am.
Strutting in the annual Halloween parade as a square.
This costume lasted for YEARS and was transformed into a raccoon (new ears/striped tail) and eventually into road-kill (we painted a spare tire back and rolled it over the front and glued ants on) when the thing got too ratty.

Taking matters into my own hands (in between mouse/rat/raccoon/roadkill) I thought I had the most bestest idea EVER!

Idea: good
Execution: Poor
I was trying to look like Jason had removed my head and was carrying it around.

When I worked at the hospital (with kids) I decided to dress up as Tigger.

That would be a footed jammie one-piece, RIT dyed orange with black felt “stripes” and a furry tummy.
(man, too be so tiny again!)

In between I was a skunk, a mental patient and a scarecrow.

Then Steve and I started dressing up.

I’m “not a witch” and he’s Sir Galahad, The Chaste.  My “pointy hat” was lost over the evening.

to the left

(in case you’re not familiar, “I” am in the lower right.  your right.)

(and this would be “Steve”)
I made both of our costumes that year… infamously stapling his together as guests arrived…

The next year I toned things down, but made the plaid skirt.

“Mean Girls” was popular that year and, well, I don’t show up ANYWHERE in lingerie and animal ears, so a Catholic School Mouse seemed appropriate.

Cartoon Stephanie Sums up her Feelings About the Weather

21 10 2008

(I can’t understand why I’m not an artist)
(I also can’t understand why only one store in my area has snow boots.  DO NOT WANT FASHION! NEED FUNCTION!)
(Snow boots must be tried on to make sure they can endure the trek)
(Oh, and it’s not like “no” snow boots, but I AM NOT paying $180 for shoes.  Unless they take me out to dinner first.)
(Why do I look like ET?)
(Wow, my shoulders are broad)

Playing Along with Daffy!

20 10 2008

Daffy, in all her adorable over-seasedness has tagged me (again!).
This time, it’s quirks!

Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs (er, I have like six readers, including Daffy, so um, have at it in the comments!)
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

1. After recovering from a life-long speech impediment, I contested in “Richmond Speaking” which was a contest for grade-schoolers.  You recited an original piece or a “classic passage”.  I chose a piece from “Mrs. Frisby and the rats of NIMH” where the mice are trained to run mazes.  I would have taken the contest had I not gotten nervous and sped up to come in two seconds short of the required time.

2. Speaking in front of groups of people does not frighten me at all.

3. When I was a kid, I always thought I’d grow up to be a singer in a rock’n’roll band and my big hit ballad was going to be about a dove.

4.  For a long time, I was living life in case I contracted some horrific disease.  Now I live the life I want to, so when The Time comes, I can check-out with a smile on my face.  Don’t live with regret.

5. I am very afraid that if/when I go to Europe,  I will not want to come back.

6. I grew up in a haunted house.  Really.  We had a gaggle of ghosts in our home.  I had a physic come over and she said that it was “like a party in here!”  In fact, I still believe in ghosts.