Wordless Wednesday: Unnecessary Roughness

23 03 2011


(trying not to make him look like something out of an antique medical book)
(And I was squishing his cheeks)


(extreme close-up!)





A Showering!

26 08 2010

Sunday was our shower.
Well, I shower everyday, it’d be better to say “Sunday was our Baby Shower”.
All the attention turns me into a babbling idiot. E.G. “Oh, q-tips! For cleaning ears and whatever else gets dirty on a baby!”, “This book may be too advanced for us…”, “IT’S GOT EARS ON IT!”, “How’s Steve supposed to fit into this?!”
The weather was up in the air (no pun intended) as the forecast pretty much changed on an hourly basis. We did get a sprinkle (or a shower, AHAHAHHAHHAHA) while guests were arriving, but besides that, it was warm and humid which did a number on my ankles. Sexy.

Of course, Big Sister to be was out and relished the attention from her new kerchief and from being such a damn fine looking dog:

Yes, I do dress my dog up. Yes, she does enjoy it.

We had a TACO  BAR for lunch.
Mainly because it’s different and because Baby loves Mexican.
And then we had cake.
3 layers of amaretto. Even the small pieces were large.

I thought I had a pre-cut photo, it's somewhere....

It had sugar elephants and tigers on it. I ate a lion. It was yummy.

So many presents!!!
Here’s a snap of showing off a goodie.
I like this photo because I’m smiling (most of the photos find me looking like I opened a box of past-prime-fruit, I’m not good at making faces) and my massive ankles are hidden:

Despite what the box says, I'm pretty sure this doesn't need batteries

Once we got the furniture installed, I was able to start to de-box a few things; just to reduce the clutter a bit.
My parents made a contribution into the new piggy bank:

Deposit

The bill hadn’t even hit the bottom when Steve was out of the room, looking for a hammer:

Withdraw

And of course, if the bed can handle a 65lb dog, it can handle a baby.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball

To round things out, here’s photographic evidence of our potential as capable parents:

It takes a village to carry a carseat





Bailey Meets an Endangered Species

29 06 2010

"Naw Bailey! Dat's mmmyyyyyy sea turtle!"

So what if I got a Webkin?
It reminds me of when we went to Mexico and I opted to pass on a fire-onyx-and-other-gemstones turtle in a jewelers store and when I decided I wanted it, we couldn’t remember which store it was at… “Where’s that damn turtle?” is now a phrase we use when it’s time to shit or get off the pot.





Did You Think I was Kidding?

13 12 2009

At the "Brewery"

Amsterdam at Night

Me (hiding), Steve and my German Cousin, Kevin

Me (hiding), Steve and my German Cousin, Kevin, In Germany

Romance on The Grand Canal in Venice

Atop the Eifel Tower

Defending London Tower

Biggest Sabres' Fans in Europe

And enjoying a beer in Dublin

Enjoying beer in Dublin (of course we had Guinness, but this pub didn't serve it)

Oh, or perhaps you know me from my YouTube video…

Antics start at 1:25, I make my appearance at 2:35.
I’m the chick giving the international sign of how to put things together.
(oh, and this has been one my favorite songs by The Hip)





Some Have Devils on Their Shoulders, Some Have Angels…

23 11 2009

Last night, Steve, SMS, SDS and I were at dinner last night and somehow the topic of insurance came up.
We mentioned that ours was pretty good.

“Yeah, my crazy pills were only $10 and my not-having-babies was $30 a
month… so awesome!”
And she looks to me, “Oh, I thought you were stopping those.”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought you were going to stop taking those.”
“Who told you that?”
“I thought you did.”, she remarking, looking very disappointed.

Meanwhile, the voice in the back of my head is laughing hysterically, “Right, because I’d totally tell YOU that.”

But I said, “Uh. No.”





Points a la Bullets (or not)

2 11 2009

Well, things have achieved normality again… or as normal as I can expect them to be.

Work is insanely crazy which makes me just want to go home and sleep, but alas…

Spent most of the weekend wondering how my house gets so trashed when we don’t have people over and I’m [feeling like I’ve been] constantly cleaning.

Sunday continued in our “typical Sunday” fashion. Watched the Buffalo Bills make asshats of themselves, mulched leaves, yelled at Bailey to stop running in the swampland that is our backyard, washed the dog, changed into jammies, had dinner, went to bed.

Saturday was Halloween and we went to Teppo and Charlotte’s house for a party.

ween

lookin' right purty

(‘scuse the camera phone photo… knowing how these things get, I wasn’t about to have my camera lost/ruined/flooded/dropped)
We I made chicken wing dip* and served it as roadkill. I picked up a toy dog, cut open the tummy, removed stuffing and inserted the dish of dip. People were scared to eat it; knowing that I almost ALWAYS bring chicken wing dip.
Anyway, Steve ended up getting a bit too into character and by midnightish, I was assisting him out to YOT.

Despite the approching deadline, we do not have Eurorail passes nor hotels for London or Dublin…

Between The Grief Diet** and actually GOING to the gym, I am feeling progress. Despite that stupid scale not moving. And my trainer quitting (I have a new trainer I’m trying this evening.. I think he has a mullet if it’s who I think it is. Deets to come). And being so busy that I have to make myself go for the half hour. My bag is in the trunk, hopefully I will be able to go right from work and get some cardio in before Mullet makes me cry.

* -2 8oz packages of cream cheese, softened
– 1 bottle (wazzat, 16oz?) blue cheese
– 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
– 2 large cans of chicken breast (found near the tuna in most stores)
– Hot sauce to taste
DO NOT go all low fat or it won’t melt right or taste right.
Mix everything together and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes, until gooey and bubbly.

** Being really sad and not wanting to eat. You’ll be happy to know that when I’m eating, it’s fairly healthy.





Joys of Marriage: Episode #956

2 10 2009

Via text

me: What the hell happened to you last night?
him: Why?
me: Um, the whole loud sheet-stealing 2am thing…
him: Do not remember.
me: you don’t remember? Holy shit, you ripped all the blankets off the bed, started belching and you ran into the TV.
him: Nice. I remember the belching and TV thing. I do not remember the blanket thing.
me: nice for you. the two of you [he and Bailey] were back snoring in no time. I, however, was up for an hour. Oh, and you  kept belching. Often in my direction.
him: I am starving.





09-25-04

25 09 2009

RUN AWAY!

RUN AWAY!

Picturesque Delaware Park (this is actually a bridge from the 1901 Pan-American Exposition)

First Duty as Husband, Pack Mule

First Duty as Husband, Pack Mule





Adventures in Marriage: Episode 82

11 08 2009

In light of the recent deluge of rain in the area (just waiting for the frogs and locust), he’s decided that we’ve “dodged enough bullets” and with a recent endowment from the “Here’s a Check for Completing Your Masters!” from the in-laws, we end up at Lowes.

Of course, I don’t understand any of the jargon on the generator boxes (except the price tag part), so I take to looking at All The Neat Things You Can Do When You Buy Your Generator!
me: Hm. According to this photo, I can make and bake entire trays of chocolate chip cookies. Because, you know, that’s what I REALLY worry about when the power goes out.
him: Maybe you should worry about stuff like that.
me: I only wish I could solve of our problems by baking.

him: Yeah. Hmm. Gee, I don’t know which ones of these to buy.
me: Just ask yourself, “What would Steve do?”
him: I know! I’m trying!
me: You are? Because I’m thinking, if I was shopping alone and picked out a generator, which one would elicit an “AWESOME” or an “Oh.”
him: Yeah…
me: Seriously, you’re still thinking about this? Get the better one.

me: AND we can totally bring this camping so we can make coffee*!
him: Do you have any idea how loud this thing is?
me: No. But we’ll have coffee
him: (imitates a generator)
me: But. Coffee.
him: ba-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum.
me: COFFEE.
him: We’ll wake up the entire campground.
me: But I’ll have coffee… are we even debating this?

* Last year, we brought a power converter with us. The Plan was to plug the coffee pot into the converter and then Stephanie and Melissa wouldn’t skin the other campers from caffeine withdraw. Ends up that a coffee pot takes too much power and shorts out.





Reason #684 Why I Married Him

17 07 2009

Sweet Daffy sent me the following email.
I forwarded it over to Steve and he replied (in red).

*****

SUMMER Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Saturday, July 25, 2009NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
I get a waiver due to an automatic ice dispenser in the freezer.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Due to the difficulty of this, one a sign will be generated above the toilet paper roll to eliminate my responsibility as follows:
If toilet paper roll turns into cardboard then:
1. Check the closet for spares. In no spare is found go to #2
2. Scream for help. If no one answers then proceed to step #3
3. Find alternative method of cleaning. Do not use anything that is attached to the house or may cause the transportation of poop to someone else ie. towels or bath rugs.
4. Proceed to shopping outlet and purchase a ton of toilet paper.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The
Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?–Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Does this include sword fights*?Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
I may need more than 3 weeks. I even bought more hampers and they still don’t pick up my clothes.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Why get married then?

Class 6
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help
Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
This problem has also been solved. I have 3 spare universal remotes**.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Sign me up!

Class 8
Health Watch–Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your
Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Allergies – It is a heredity thing. I can’t control nature.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
N-S-E-W: Men understand how to use a compass. I sometimes just take the long way because I never know what new things I may find.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturdays noon, 2 hours.
I need help with this one. I get the feeling similar to a cross between embarrassment and I actually may die***.

Class 11
Learning to Live–Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. On-line
Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Not sure about this one. Need more info.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation
and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Sign Stephanie up****

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering  Anniversaries and Other
Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock
Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:0 0 PM for 2 hours.
Well I wait until Stephanie looks angry then I check the calender. Its like an ANDON signal.Class 14
The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Is that the thing under the Microwave?

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to
the survivors.

*This is where two men pee at the same time and “fight” with urine. And this is not gay?
** I (Stephanie) would like to mention that the bedroom remote has been MIA for a week now and we’ve been watching The Biography Channel because neither one of us wants to get back out of bed to change the channel.
*** I (Stephanie) HATE driving driving with Steve. I.E. “Why are you tailgating?”, “Could you stop any faster?”, “You missed a spot right there?”, “You DO know what the speed limit is here, don’t you?”, “We’ll never get there if you keep driving below the speed limit.”, “Don’t you need to get gas?”
**** I (Stephanie) am notorious for being a pissy little brat when we go shopping. I just hate people.