rhetorics

27 04 2010

1) Why am I so against spending $4 (or less) on lunch pre-purchased from the supermarket, but okay with spending $5 (or more) to go out and get the same thing?

2) Why do some people consistently bring so many bags with them to work. I’m not talking on special occasion days, but the people you see day in and out with four bags (duffles, sacks, bags, cases, etc.)… what are they bringing into work?





Wordless Wednesday: 04/21/10

21 04 2010

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Another Reason…

19 04 2010

Dear Ladies (and maybe gentlemen, I don’t know),

I would like to present you with another reason whhhhhyyyyy you should wash your hands after using the restroom.
Yes, the hygiene of tinkling is one thing and I’m presuming that you’re TOTALLY washing after “making a deposit”, however, it has come to my attention lately that some ladies choose to flush with their feet.
EW.
Okay, at least I can try to fathom where the handle has been (and what it may be covered in) if it’s being plunged by hand.
However, do you know where your feet have been?
Egads… on further review, the spigot and soap dispenser are probably teeeeemmmiiingg with germs.
So, while you may not agree with my not-pre-dispensing the paper towels, at least I’m not giving just a rinse and I make sure my bidness is flushed, so stop with the icy stare. Thankyouverymuch.

Love,
Stephanie

Unrelated, but Also…
It needs to warm up because I FINALLY found dark brown sandals that I can wear and that I love.
kthnxbai.

from shoes.com





Notes

15 04 2010

Dear Lady Crossing Pearl Street this morning,
You know when is the best time to check for items in your purse?
I’ll give you a hint, it’s not when you’re in the middle of crossing a street.

Dear Tailgater in Front of Me,
Stop signs are for everyone. Stopping with the car in front of you does not qualify as stopping.
P.S. It’s called a blinker, learn it. Use it.  Love it.

Dear Personal Space Invaders,
When a pregnant lady has her bump on display, it does not give you the right/liberty/freedom to touch her belly. Maybe she’s just tired of wearing baggy clothes all the time.

Dear Drive-Through Boxes,
If I say I don’t want a combo meal*, please do not ask me if I want fries and a drink with my sandwich.

Dear Tim Hortons,
20 minutes fresh doesn’t apply to decaf?

Dear Parking Lot Patrons,
Parking like a civil human being is one of your duties. I doubt anyone wants to hit your 1994 Grand Marquis.

Dear Bailey,
Please stop rolling in whatever you’re rolling in out in the yard. It stinks and will only result in more baths for you.

*Typically a sammich, fries and a beverage.





Upgrade

11 04 2010

Here is the fridge we used to have…. circa 1995-ish

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It wasn’t a bad fridge, totally did it’s job…

Please to notice the space between the top and the sides of said fridge.

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Being 15 years old, well, it wasn’t as energy efficient as it once was and well, frankly, it sounded like there was a chicken inside, despite my vacuuming.

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Won't someone think of the starving children?!?

So, we made the executive decision that it was time to upgrade.

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OM NOM NOM NOM

Oh sweet 25 cubic feet of space, how I adore thee…

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Stainless "look" so it won't take fingerprints or dog noses

Notice, if you will, the lack of space between the wall, counter, cabinets and fridge.
”I was more concerned about the height and didn’t really think about the width…”, explained Steve. I’m pretty sure I asked him about width, but at that time, I couldn’t go three hours without a nap, so I’m pretty sure I just trusted him.

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Would sir prefer his ice cubed or crushed?

Needles to say, when he got home yesterday, there was a fair amount of sawing, sanding, etc.
“You know, for a new fridge, there’s an awful lot of sawing and hammering going on in here…”

And, to freak out Curly, here’s where 90% of the stuff that WAS on the fridge ended up. The fryer (EWWWWW) is in the cabinets above the fridge, which meant I had to dispose of 10 bottles of where’d-we-get-this-from?  liquor

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Clumsy girls gotta have access to her pot holders. And menu. And calendar.





Oy Vey.

10 04 2010

Originally I was going to post a nifty little before and after piece as it is 1130am and I already have a spanking new pedicure and a new fridge.
However, when someone (STEVE) was taking measurements, he forgot to count the countertop overhang and now there is a 25 c.f. Fridge in the middle of my kitchen.
Whoda thunk 1/8 of an inch would make so much difference.
I already removed moulding and tried to connect the waterline (successful, but too drippy for my comfort) so he’s going to have to figure out what to do with the counter when he gets back from going to Cleveland to see The Dan Band.





Truth in Advertising

9 04 2010

Holding onto the glimmer of hope that someone’s summer collection will be baggy enough for me to wear (as I’m almost past the point of just buying bigger clothes as they bigger in the tummy AND every place else), I still scour the ads.

When work out clothes are advertised, the model is doing something athletic; “running”, “yoga”, holding a weight…

However, when lingerie is shown, no one is getting laid or seducing someone (in the ad), they’re typically laughing…
Jammies are hardly ever worn in bed, and not by someone covered in drool with half of their hair matted to their face….
Babies are never covered in spit or vomit or screaming…
Sandals aren’t shown on the beach where the sand gets in the toe area and creates blisters…
Liquor never shows the morning after where you consider chewing your arm off as that 10 has become an 01.

Okay reader(s), tell me, if you had to truthfully advertise something, how would you do it.

—————-
Now playing: The Tragically Hip – Ahead by a Century
via FoxyTunes