Dear Co-Worker,

Dear Co-Worker,

There are a few things I would like to say to you but being that I actually like my job and prefer not to be canned, I will address my concerns anonymously.

1) When you are talking to me and I am backing up, it does not mean that you should come closer to talk to me.  In fact, it means quite the opposite.
2) When two people are having a conversation and you have nothing interesting to add, please, shut-up.
3) You are not making friends by standing around, talking to everyone who actually has work to do.  Did you read “How to lose friends and alienate people”?
4) Wandering around taking care of personal business on your cell phone does not count as work.
5) When people walk away from you (or scatter like you’re radioactive) please do not set your sights on someone else to talk to.
6) Buying drinks for the office will not make us like you more.
7) Do not comment on how other people are doing your job wrong.  This is especially true when you’ve passed the buck.
8 ) Do not mark things as “approved” when you clearly did not make sure that the facts were straight.
9) “Did you get that e-mail?” should not be followed by your walking over to the questionees PC and watching him or her open the e-mail; especially when the e-mail is a photo of a container of Jiffy-pop tacked to the wall with the inscription “Redneck Fire Alarm”.
10) People putting items between you and them (like a desk, chair, paper, coffee pot, taser) means that you’re invading their personal space.

Love,
Stephanie