Dear Co-Worker,

16 01 2009

Dear Co-Worker,

There are a few things I would like to say to you but being that I actually like my job and prefer not to be canned, I will address my concerns anonymously.

1) When you are talking to me and I am backing up, it does not mean that you should come closer to talk to me.  In fact, it means quite the opposite.
2) When two people are having a conversation and you have nothing interesting to add, please, shut-up.
3) You are not making friends by standing around, talking to everyone who actually has work to do.  Did you read “How to lose friends and alienate people”?
4) Wandering around taking care of personal business on your cell phone does not count as work.
5) When people walk away from you (or scatter like you’re radioactive) please do not set your sights on someone else to talk to.
6) Buying drinks for the office will not make us like you more.
7) Do not comment on how other people are doing your job wrong.  This is especially true when you’ve passed the buck.
8 ) Do not mark things as “approved” when you clearly did not make sure that the facts were straight.
9) “Did you get that e-mail?” should not be followed by your walking over to the questionees PC and watching him or her open the e-mail; especially when the e-mail is a photo of a container of Jiffy-pop tacked to the wall with the inscription “Redneck Fire Alarm”.
10) People putting items between you and them (like a desk, chair, paper, coffee pot, taser) means that you’re invading their personal space.

Love,
Stephanie

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7 responses

16 01 2009
Connie

Some people’s children…
Apparently did not learn the arm length rule…

SB: I have a two foot rule. If you’re more than two feet away, I can’t hit you.

16 01 2009
Lucky

I think we should take your co-worker and my co-worker and put them in a small locked room together. Then we can see who claws their way out first unless they drive each other completely insane…which is what I’m banking on.

Sb: We do have an unused office with a glass wall. My CW would be all over your CWs leftover food and we can charge two bits a gander. Proceeds go towards office beer.

16 01 2009
kyknoord

What I can’t understand is why every office seems to have one of these individuals. It’s like there’s a secret law that all companies have to adhere to.

SB: I can see the interview now… “So, what makes you think you can be more annoying than anyone else in the office…”

16 01 2009
Michele

I hate when you back up because people are too close and they just step forward like it was nothing. I was in line one time and this guy was so close to behind me i could feel him breathing on my neck. I asked him if he could back up since every time I moved up he followed. Then he started saying out loud talking to no one really just making a scene, “DON’T STAND TOO CLOSE TO THIS GIRL, SHE NEEDS HER PERSONAL SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” what an ass! and as for #6- it may not make you like her but never pass up free drinks, especially at happy hour!

SB: !!! See, and Miss Manners said that what you did was the right thing, “excuse me, would you mind backing up just a bit…” maybe that’s why the cold icy stare works better.

16 01 2009
hisqueen

Why is it that upper management never gets rid of those people. Perhaps there is a secret hiring memo for the annoying person. I love the one about doing their job wrong. If they had done their job in the first place no one would be compelled to try to clean up. My favorite is the places with uniforms. There is always one teachers pet who is allergic to the uniform and therefore wears whatever they want. Used to just kill me. Had my write up torn up because they couldn’t prove a co-worker had a true allergy. Either everyone follows the rules or we all get away with the little things.

SB: The things people come up with… I had a co-worker who asked for a TV in the front office and was upset when her request was denied.

16 01 2009
curlywurlygurly

in my mundane life, i’ve learned one thing:

there are basically 5-8 different types of personalities/people and every office i’ve worked in has these same types, they just have different names.

here are a few:

*the ‘space invader’ (the one you describe above)
*the ‘train wreck’ (always has major drama–and her problems are waaaay worse than yours)
*the ‘sweetie pie’ (so cute and nice…you wonder if she’s actually human)
*the ‘loud one’ (you can hear this ass-hat all over the building)
*the ‘wanderer’ (roams the office looking for people to annoy and/or talk to, or seeking food to steal)

etc, etc. this is just my theory and i’m tossing it out there for you.

SB: someday, I’ll get into the memoirs of “metoo!”; whatever happened to you, happened to metoo! but in a much more dramatic way. My therapist says that I’ll deal with that when I’m ready 🙂

19 01 2009
pannonica

For me, it might depend on the kind of drinks he or she’s buying. I can forgive a lot for a decent martini.

SB: Hm. yeah, no… it was drinks from The Rat Place.

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