Feeling More Welcome in Five Months Than I did in Two Years

29 01 2009

(those of you new to the fray may not know that I have been with my current employer since mid-September after spending two+ years with a previous employer.)

My boss comes up to me, causally puts his elbows on my perch* and says, “So, are you joining us for lunch today?”
“We have an extra ticket [for the Mayor’s State of the City Address].  Would you like to come?”
I look to the left, to the right, you know, in case there’s someone behind me that he’s talking to.  “Me?”
“Uh, yeah…” he says, smiling, sensing my confusion.
“Yeah, um, okay, I mean Yes!  Thank you!”

Holy crap, I mean, gosh, I’m sure it’s “nothing exciting” but someday I will find the words to express how much it means to be included.

*the top area of my desk where people leave coffee, pens, junk faxes, etc.

Chocolate Fix

22 01 2009

Some people (looking at you CWG) seem to think that I’ve gone completely joyless.
To prove you wrong, here are some happy things.

1) My changed lifestyle-contingency medication is “so far so good”.  Since Sunday, I have not had a headache so bad that I gave serious consideration to taking an ice pick to my temple; thus the reason for the change.

2) My friends and I went out to dinner at Melting Pot last night with $5 of each of our dinners going towards cancer research.  Plus, there were drinks.

3) Afterward, one of the girls and I went to Penny’s and I let her dress me up.  “I’m the Anthony Bourdain to your Stacy London!”, I exclaimed as we made our way toward the register.
My purchase?
Something I NEVER EVER EVER considered.

Not actully me, nor the actual vest

Not actually me, nor the actual vest (mine is grey with pin striping)

I purchased a vest.
“I feel like a project!”, I said.  “You ARE my project!”, she giggles.
And today, I have donned the vest.  Thought I don’t have a “real” photo as it’s hard to take photos of myself and I’m not going to any of my co-workers to ask them to take a photo because that sounds like a can of worms I don’t want to open.

4) With last weekend’s near-sub-zero temperatures, I thought I would give a science experiment a go.
In case you’re not familiar, when it gets to be booger-freezing cold out, bubbles are supposed to freeze.

Seeing as we do not have any “real” bubbles in the house, I decided to concoct some.
(For the record, “catnip bubbles” suck)
Also remembering that it’s been years since I’ve done any bubbling and that it was like, 2 degrees out, I opted to practice before heading out.
Bailey was amused.


Soap is tasty!




so close!




It is here somwhere...


look, I sparkle

(P.S. bubbles didn’t freeze but I did)

5) And this gem just came into my office.



15 09 2008

I’m there for less than an hour and I already have a key to the door.
I was at The Old Job for over a year without a key, without a code, without access to accounting…

“Oh, this business card application was in my paperwork and I don’t think I get them but I filled it out anyway.”
“Everyone here gets business cards!”

And a PC, with LOGIN (I was a nomad at The Old Job for months), a branded coffee mug, a logo pin, branded note pads, my own desk, closet space, a windbreaker…

I’d been there for eight hours and already had 100% more responsibility than before.

My trainer has been there as long as I’ve been alive and she said that The Company takes care of its employees.

Do you hear that?  Are those angels?

Happy Thursday!

11 09 2008

More in a description then a well-wish.

I already un and re loaded the dishwasher, including doing the cookware by hand.
Steve’s overdue library materials are returned.
I had a coffee and Beans got a timbit.
The lawn is mowed.  Technically twice because it was long and The Mister was a landscaper in a past life so clumps are not allowed.
I just got back from the gym.  I’m sore.  Refueling with water and yogurt.

Soon, I will get in the shower and in a few hours Melissa and I will be enjoying her birthday Catty Thursday with pedicures and dinner.

If the weather holds, I’ll take Bees out back to play with the box of tennis balls Uncle Michael sent over.

This is a good day.
I have to say that I am amazed at how much better I feel.  I’m happy and it’s not induced.  I like this feeling.  While I know New Job is going to have its bumps, I hope this feeling stays because it’s been a while since I’ve felt this way.

Big ‘Ol Sigh of Relief

10 09 2008

At 3:30, The Boss calls me into his office.

And I am released from my duties to “prep” for my new job.

Currently, I am in my owl jammie pants (yes, at 5:30) enjoying a Harpoon IPA, thinking of what I am going to do, besides more jumping for joy.

The Amazing Healing Power of Cupcake Batter

24 01 2008

So, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a bit of a pill lately.
Perhaps it was lack of verbalizing what was bothering me (Steve’s not very supportive when it comes to work matters, in fact, his lack of enthusiasm tends to be conversely proportionate to my anger level).
So Heather and I had a good talk, in which she listened and defended my thoughts and then I satisfied that craving for sweet and sour chicken.
After which I ate some cupcake batter (come on, like you never have) and took a long hot shower.
This morning, I realized that if I just come to the conclusion that I can not change this situation and that I am not the problem, things will roll off my shoulders.  Perhaps, this will be fodder for the next unfinished book.

I confessed to Heather that I was afraid that falling back into my old eating habits (i.e. solving problems via food) I would completely lose sight of my goals.  However (much to Heather’s prediction) I am back on the wagon this morning.  Breakfast of fruit/oatmeal, lunch of salad and something good for dinner.  Back onto water because thirsting myself doesn’t solve anything.

I am glad that I am back in touch with my feelings.

It was 20 (okay, 6) Years Ago Today…

30 11 2007

On a chilly night, the last day of November 2001, I met the man who would change my life.
Weeks earlier, our parents would sing praises of the other’s son/daughter, excaliming that we HAD to meet.  An awkward exchange of contact information occured and we decided that I would pick him up from a house party.
As usual, I got lost.  He gave me directions on my cell phone and he commented “I’m see you and I’m walking towards your car.”  When he stopped and knocked on the passenger window, I lost my breath.
“Is THIS my blind date?” I asked myself.
He got in the car and introduced himself. 
I secretly wished I would have dressed better.
A few beers and many hours later (more talking then drinking), we sat in his truck, not really knowing how to say goodnight.  “Tonight Tonight” by Smashing Pumpkins was playing and we  happened to kiss at the apex of the song.
When the kiss ended, I decided that I did not want (or need) to kiss anyone else’s lips from now on.
Six years later, I still lose my breath when he kisses me.

Who is this person who has taken over my body?!

16 11 2007

Old Stephanie: WHY are they playing Christmas music already?!  I am not shopping here and in fact, I am going to register a complaint with managment.
New Stephanie: Good for them, trying to get those extra sales in early.  While I don’t understand the appeal of “Silver Bells”, I’m sure it’s someones favorite song.

Old Stephanie: That JERK cut me off!  What?  Did he not see me?  (ten minutes later) I can’t believe I got cut off!  (thirty minutes later) “… and he’s all ‘woosh’ right in front of me!” (eight hours later) “And I almost died when that guy cut in front of me.  Ass.”
New Stephanie: Well, I hope he gets where he’s going.  He’s certianly in a hurry.

Old Stephanie: I am going to sit here and be angry but not tell him why I am angry and he’d better notice that I am angry so I can say nothings wrong and then break down crying in two weeks when I’m really angry.
New Stephanie: “What are you all cranky pants about?”

Old Stephanie: “What do you mean I gained .4 pounds?”
New Stephanie: “That turkey burger WAS salty and I didn’t quite stay on plan this week.  I had a good time over that turkey burger and it was worth it.”

Seriously, why didn’t I talk to my doctor about handling me anger/anxiousness/depression earlier?
Holy cow, all the emotional stress I could have saved myself…