MYOB: The Direct Approach

21 09 2010

Balancing coffee on The Bump, Creepy Creepy Guys get on the train. “Well, isn’t that a sour puss? You’re (imitates duck face). Cranky much?”
“Mmmm.”
“On your way to work?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t talk to people I don’t know.”
CCG#1 makes sour beer face. I return to glazed stare out of the opposite window.
“Well, if you don’t talk to strangers, then how do you meet new people?!”, CCG #1 inquires.
CCG #2 comments, “Probably at the candy shop.” (aside: WTF, a candy shop? are you serious?)

CCG #1 says, “So what are you hoping for?”
(voice in the back of my head, “A fu&^ing puppy that poops skittles you pervert!”)

Thank goodness it was my stop, but I felt his eyes on me the whole time.

So, ladies and gentlemen, in the interest of how to get people to stop talking to you, I bit the bullet and can report that even the direct approach of “I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU.” does not work.

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15 responses

21 09 2010
hisqueen

sooo..if you don’t talk to strangers..how are you talking to all of us crazy bloggers or lurkers in my case..

Seriously. your parting shot on the way out the door should have been the line about the puppy..would have stopped them cold for at least a second.

23 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I was too creeped out by the duo to say or do anything but disembark.
Seriously creepy.

21 09 2010
whatigotsofar

Rabbits poop milk duds and corn pops.

23 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

one out of two isn’t bad.

21 09 2010
Noelle

Why can’t people just give a pregnant lady a friendly “How nice, you’re pregnant,” smile and leave it at that? And pretty much the most personal thing a gentleman should say to a pregnant lady is “Would you like my seat?” if there are no seats on the bus or train.

23 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

When I rule the world, you’re totally in charge of etiquette.
nod, smile, go about your day.
Sounds like a t-shirt to me 🙂

21 09 2010
Noelle

Oops, sorry, I mixed up my gravatars there.

22 09 2010
Dennis the Vizsla

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that mass transit is more or less nonexistent out here in San Diego …

23 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I wonder how crime rates are influenced by nosy public transit riders…

23 09 2010
Tony

Try farting really loudly next time. It may distract them long enough for you to run to the other end of the carriage

23 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

At this point, farts are unpredictable- at best.
May I belch loudly?

23 09 2010
connie

“Well, isn’t that a sour puss? You’re (imitates duck face). Cranky much?” THIS is how you meet friends and influence people??? Next time carry a sign that says
I am a deaf/mute with middle finger extended.

23 09 2010
lavenderbay

I always pretended I was deaf/non-anglophone/non-francophone. My husband was pushing our son in the stroller one time, coming along the sidewalk straight toward me, and I didn’t notice who it was.

One can do things too well.

Hang in there, it’ll all be different soon!

4 10 2010
bevchen

Wow. Seriously creepy. And candy shop?! Errrm, okaaaay.

11 10 2010
Enna

Dude, people who ride the train are creepy as f*ck. I have NEVER been able to get people to just leave me the hell alone. If you ever figure it out, let me know.

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