Balancing coffee on The Bump, Creepy Creepy Guys get on the train. “Well, isn’t that a sour puss? You’re (imitates duck face). Cranky much?”
“On your way to work?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t talk to people I don’t know.”
CCG#1 makes sour beer face. I return to glazed stare out of the opposite window.
“Well, if you don’t talk to strangers, then how do you meet new people?!”, CCG #1 inquires.
CCG #2 comments, “Probably at the candy shop.” (aside: WTF, a candy shop? are you serious?)
CCG #1 says, “So what are you hoping for?”
(voice in the back of my head, “A fu&^ing puppy that poops skittles you pervert!”)
Thank goodness it was my stop, but I felt his eyes on me the whole time.
So, ladies and gentlemen, in the interest of how to get people to stop talking to you, I bit the bullet and can report that even the direct approach of “I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU.” does not work.