It’s feeling a bit like Friday the 13th, rather than Monday the 13th.
1) Traffic on the 10s is useless when you don’t announce an accident that’s more than 10 minutes old. Especially when it’s right after I pass the last exit to take the alternate route.
2) Constant Comment is in the office. (remember him? Here, here and here)
He comes up to me, I’m already in a bad mood and he’s using that “You’re so young and stupid” voice… “So, how you feeling these days?”
“Fine.” (Thinking, “Go away.”)
“Feeling the baby kick?”
“I’m 9 months pregnant. I should hope so.” (mind you, he was in a month ago and asked when I was due, clearly out of courtesy, then promptly started talking about himself.)
“Oh, then you can go about any time then!” (my new least favorite phrase)
“I have a few weeks still. (“GO. AWAY.”)
Taking a “I have poops older than you!” tone with me, “Bet you want some advice.”
Taking a “I’m being serious when I say this” tone back to him, “No. Actually, I don’t.”
He proceeds to talk to me anyway.
3) Note to Annoyance, you know that I was working on that proposal. Why aren’t you asking me about it?
please, stop bouncing 
should have told him “I’m waiting till we’re stuck in the elevator between floors, alone, so you can help me with the birth.” then…if you accidentally rip his head off and shove it up his ass you can blame the pain and rage of child birth on it.
are you saying you didn’t want all that advice I gave you?
here’s some more advice..when it happens, just go with the flow that D.A.M desires…live, learn and love it all..good bad or ugly(this applies to diapers in particular)
I fear for how CC would argue with me about labor. Because clearly, he knows all.
I don’t want HIS advice because 1) I don’t give a hoot what he thinks either way 2) We do NOT share the same ideals/views on, well, anything 3) If you want to give me advice, don’t start off by talking to me in an insulting tone 4) It wasn’t advice as much as let-me-talk-about-me.
Did try the nod-and-smile-while-thinking-of-other-stuff tactic, still irked.
he..is..a..dumbass.. that is the one group of people I don’t miss working with.
Bless his pee picking heart! Hopefully the rest of the week will be prick less
oops did I say that out loud?
They’re both out of the office tomorrow and I’m off Wednesday.
Hopefully that gives us all time to cool our heels before my countdown hormones fully rage.
P.S. his advice was something along the lines of making sure my kid was always happy because there could be a school physiologist in the room the day he/she isn’t and it’ll be marked on their permanent record.
And no, I’m not making this up. WTFFriday on a Monday.
Nine Months!?!?!?!?!
You can go about any time then!
Say, what’s the sound of a cocking rifle?
save him the placenta, along with a box of ‘placenta helper’. that might momentarily shut him up.
Dollars to doughnuts, he’d get all Grandpa Simpson on it, “Back when I was a kid, we HAD to eat the placenta because we were so poor, we had to eat anything we could! You kids these days are so wasteful, throwing out the placenta!”
Monday tortures you on account of it’s Monday.
Jerk Monday.
Boo to jerk Monday and it’s shenanigans!
Amniotic fluid is mostly baby pee at this point. You could point that out to him. You’re not full of piss and vinegar, just piss, therefore pissing you off might be a big mistake.
Seeing as I’m already being pissed ON/in…. see if the doc can save it and then just leave it in a jar on his desk.
Keep earplugs in your desk? Or say, rubber thumbs would do in a pinch.
“Bet you want some advice”
“You’re on! Oh dear, you lose. Pay up!”
CC sounds like a blast. You can send him to me if you don’t want him. I could always do with a friend
Oh & you can send the placenta over with him too if you don’t want it. Probably nice with some mushrooms & onions