WTFFriday: Shorties

10 09 2010

(I know you’ve all missed me soooooo much… no MiniMak yet, just nothing “exciting” going on; doubt you care about my whining that Dairy Queen is closed at 9pm.)

Dear Media Outlets,
If you don’t want something to be news, don’t pick it up or cover it.
That nutjob with the Quran burning, he’s getting the attention he wants because you’re giving it to him.
Sure, it’s news, but YOU’RE the ones blowing it out of proportion. Not saying that what he’s doing is wrong or right, but he had a flock of 50. In Florida.
Pretty sure it wouldn’t have been national news if you’d keep it in your pants.

(now that we’ve got the unpleasantness out of the way)

Dear Old Navy,
You’re so hard to resist with your chunky sweaters, non-mumu maternity clothes and adorbs baby stuff.
I wish I knew how to quit you.

Dear People Who Don’t Know,
When a lady is pretty far along in her pregnancy, she’s got a good idea of if there’s one or more babies in there.
Asking her if there’s twins in there causes undue TMJ flare ups. Extra flare for following up with, “Are you sure?”
This, just moments after you commented on how good (read: smaller then someone this far along)  she looks.
Besides, if there were twins A) you would have heard about it by now B) They’d be the size of peanuts because twiners are A LOT bigger.

Dear Date Requesters,
Baby isn’t taking requests for birth day.
We’re honored that  you’d be willing to share your birthday with us, but really, when he/she is ready, that’s when it is.
Stop looking at me like I took Old Yeller out back when I say, “We’ll see when we decide to come…”

Dear Rotating Doctor,
I’m sure it’ll be nice to meet you next week.
Sorry that our first encounter is going to require your looking at my lady bits. This isn’t how I usually start relationships off.

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6 responses

10 09 2010
connie

heeehhaaaahahahaha!

10 09 2010
hisqueen

I LUV WTFFridays!!!!!
psst..Bailey called..she says baby told her when it’s coming, she won’t reveal the truth. She also requests no twins..one is plenty..and could you be sure and get vanilla ice cream next time you run to DQ

11 09 2010
daisyfae

it was a ‘rotating’ doc who delivered my first spawn – and after meeting him, i decided i liked him far better than my original doc (who was channeling ronald regan). doc number two delivered spawn number two also!

enjoy your Buddah days! you’ll be able to see your feet again in no time at all!

11 09 2010
lavenderbay

It takes a village to raise a longing for a machine gun?

11 09 2010
Two Barking Dogs

Haha. Are you sure there isn’t a whole bunch of peanuts in there?

Hang in there ….

18 09 2010
Tony

I am with you on the media thing. Here in Oz it always seems to be moronic meathead football players who are getting in trouble with all sorts of stupid antics. The only reason it becomes a big deal is the media coverage giving them all the free attention & publicity they could ever want. So is it a boy & a girl, boy/boy or girl/girl twins???

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