27 08 2010

WTF Person Who Laughs at Everything,
Just wondering, what is so funny about someone sneezing? No really, let me in on this joke because I don’t get it.
I sneezed, pardoned  myself and you damn near burst your bladder.
I know you’re not that jovial, what’s with the laughing?
Someone brought you a soda? HAR HAR HAR!
Won a scratch-off lottery? HEE HEE HEE!
Ate some chips? HAW HAW HAW!

Clearly you misread your directions about where to turn.
No problem.
Let me let you in on a tip.
If you’ve realized that you no longer have to turn right, slow down, stay on the shoulder,  put your LEFT blinker on, check your mirror, check your blind spot and when you’re certain that a purple Trailblazer isn’t trying to pass you, THEN pull back onto the road.
Also, that BLARING noise in the key of F, that was my horn.
Your driving antics caused me to break a perfectly good glass when my bag when sailing into my dashboard. You owe me $2.
I’m just glad I didn’t have to pee urgently.

WTF Subway and your “Veggie Delight”,
Let me get this straight… you based the nutritional information using the condiment quantity for a “regular” sandwich and that’s why I have to insist on extra extra veggies?

WTF NY plate “U2 ROCKS”,
Your driving offends me.
First, that sign that alerted you to upcoming merging traffic means that traffic will be merging. This doesn’t mean that you play flying eagles with another car that is going slower than traffic and then speeds up to pass you.
Secondly, it’s a called a blinker, or in some areas “directional”. Learn it, love it, use it.
Thirdly, when you pass someone, do not SLAM on the brakes as soon as you get in front of them; especially when there’s a good 700 yards between the bumper in front of you.
Fourth, it’s a posted speed limit. If you’re not going to do it, get to the right.

Fifth, I don’t think you realized ANY of the hundreds of other motorists on the road.
And screw your “Pray for all Priests!” bumper sticker. I pray that you don’t kill someone with your driving.

WTF Gestational Diabetes,
You’re only present for a short time after I eat way too much (i.e. chips, salsa and enchiladas at El Canelo).
Case in point, when I ate that leftover cake and tested 45 minutes later, you were at 115. Technically, you should have been higher.
When I get retested in a few months, kindly stick to the levels we’ve been having.

WTF Chocolate Milk,
Why do you rock so hard?
I love you.



13 responses

27 08 2010

I should have named my post for today “WTF Yard Sale.”

27 08 2010

I agree with everything you said here. I love how non-merging people also always look surprised when throw up your arms and shout at them. And it’s completely rude to laugh out loud at someone’s sneeze, unless it’s someone you know VERY well. I do chortle at my husband’s and son’s sneezes because they’re so loud and startling!

27 08 2010

I am pretty sure I could laugh at anyone doing just about anything…unless they were punching me in the face.

28 08 2010

I laughed at everything in this post.
I hate the pass, pull in front & slow down too. I need a missile launcher behind my grille for just such occasions
Does that mean your not going to Pray for all Priests???

28 08 2010
S. Le

As per usual, your list is spot on! Agree, agree, agree!

29 08 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

twobarkingdogs: either title works… I think as long as the reader is all baroo at the end, that’s what matters.

goingaroundandaround: MERGE!

MTAE: But what if a clown, a really funny clown, punched you?

Tony: I dole my praying carefully… the people on the road seemed to be in much more emanate danger than those of the cloth.

S.Le: *mwah* glad to help!

31 08 2010

I’m guessing “FEWPROUD” is a reference to the driver’s brain cells.

1 09 2010

See? This is why I hate driving. If other people drove better than the ones you describe, I might have calmed down enough to pass my Road Test by now.

2 09 2010

Amen! We must be driving in the same circle of jerks – I mean people. No, I was right the first time 😀

3 09 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

kyknoord: “few” seems a bit generous….

lavenderbay: If you passed your test though, you’d have to actively deal with morons.

Jill: Technically, we kind of are 🙂

3 09 2010

Seriously. People who laugh at everything? WTF? My laughs have to be earned. And even then, I might not give one. Because I’m a stoic robot who doesn’t show emotion, according to my ex.

4 09 2010

directional? Really? We call it an indicator.

5 09 2010

We call it a turn signal. Informally, it’s a blinker or a winky. Add favourite adjectives when it’s improperly used.

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