Bridge Burning Prevention

18 06 2010

Hey Reader(s),

What is a good way to tell, or strongly allude to, someone that they’re being rude?
Telling them, “That was rude.” is going to cause some damage.
And ignoring the comment just bears the comment repeated.

I know I need a thicker skin, however, why do I always have to be the one to play defense, why can’t some people realize they’re being lint-lickers?
Why can’t I be the one to say, “WRONG” instead of acting like I’m not bothered by it, because I clearly am.

One example… “Whoa preggo! Look at you!” in a sing-song voice.
Reply: “Yes, I am pregnant, this is what happens.” is met with scoffs, however, I do not need everyone and their mother pointing out that I’ve got a belly.

Another example… “Pointing out the obvious!”
Reply: “What? Where?”

Natch, these are just two examples, but like, in general, any “nice” ways to tell people to STFU or GTFO?


Update 6/19/10: Holy crap. I had a light-shining-down-revelation last night… the person who is giving me the most grief is passive-aggressive… let the research to the point of nausea begin!!!!




16 responses

18 06 2010
Cynical Scribble

Sarcasm wins every time in these situations. Angry sarcasm is even better 😉

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I haven’t tried Angry Sarcasm yet… just regular….

18 06 2010


Whoa! Preggo! (comment back, looking over your shoulder “Really? Where?”)

Wow! You sure are big, when are you due? (Due for what? Am I late for something?)

Look at you! You HAVE to be carrying twins … (Really? If you can tell that just by looking at me you must have magical powers, can you please help pick me the winning lotto numbers?”

Oh man … I could go on and on.

If its really important to zing back, then I say go for it. If not, a withering death-stare hairy eyeball goes a long way.

Hang in there!!!

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

It’s not just pregnancy, it’s like, 75% of what comes out of these peoples mouths that is insulting…

18 06 2010

You’re pregnant?

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

actually, I just really let myself go.

18 06 2010

How about, “I’ve recently invented a car that runs on stupid comments. If you’ll come outside with me for a moment, I think we can solve the energy crisis!”

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

de ja vu!

18 06 2010

Whenever someone says something I don’t like and don’t want to burn bridges I’ve learned to use the “*That’s* not very nice…” combined with a furrowed brow and a bit of a pout to convey that my feelings are a bit hurt.

It works about 88% of the time for me. For the other 12% that don’t care that they hurt my feelings, it’s a case-by-case basis… usually involving some sort of sarcasm or nasty comment to them.

On the bright side – once TBD is born, you won’t have to worry about pregnant comments any more 🙂

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Ohhhh, I like that!
Can I add The Downward Glance and Quivering Lip.

(And once TBD comes, I’m sure it’ll change to, “You had the baby a few months ago, how’s the weight coming off?”)

19 06 2010

You could take it as a compliment; at least they realize that you’re not just gaining weight. Ever see a woman who’s inclined to be heavy with a gut and seriously debate whether to acknowledge the obvious, just in case you’re wrong?

19 06 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I think that’s why people don’t say things in public anymore.
I saw someone around my age at Kohl’s last night who looked like I do and I was tempted to say, “October?” but then realized it’d be shitty if she was “October what?”

19 06 2010

I don’t know if there is a “nice” way to tell someone who is obviously incapable of getting the message. Time to do some damage, maybe?

19 06 2010
Dennis the Vizsla

The appropriate section begins at 1:17.

21 06 2010

A co-worker of mine told me his wife had similar issues while pregnant with their son.

One of her bosses said to her (as she was stepping off the elevator): WOW! You’re REALLY pregnant!”

She looked at him and smiled, a big sunny smile too! and said “WOW! You’re REALLY bald!” and then laughed and her boss turned bright red, apologized for the lack of filter between his brain and his mouth and that was that.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire – anyone who’s being that much of a jackass could use a little telling off.

29 06 2010

I’ve also been struggling with this issue recently. It’s one thing if you’re dealing with strangers you’ll never see again, but the line gets blurry when you’ve got coworkers and neighbors to contend with. I’m tossing around the idea of having a “rudeness intervention” for my friend because everyone else just puts up with her behavior and I feel like I WILL end up burning bridges if I don’t draw the line right now.

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