“That was a Very ‘Stephanie’ Thing to Watch…”

13 05 2010

If you know me at all, you know I’m just clumsy.

On a trip to the restroom, I noticed my hair needed a brush. Back at my desk,  I pulled out my trusty $1-glitter-handled brush.
My boss, meanwhile, comes up and asks me about the new coffee service.
At the same time, the handle breaks off of the brushy part, spraying glitter and petroleum-smelling liquid on my shirt, sweater and hair.
My bosses head turns sideways-like and says, “What just happened? Why is there glitter everywhere?”
“UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!”, I screech. I’ve got glitter and liquid in a huge patch on my boob…
In the kitchen, I realize that the liquid is oil based as my already fine hair starts to clump.
Short of washing my entire head in the ladies room sink, I took some Dawn and washed out the oiled clump and tried removing the stain from my shirt.
I tell my boss that I’m going to run to the Ghetto Polyester Store next door and see if I can find an acceptable top (result, fail). He chuckles, “You know, that was a very ‘Stephanie’ thing to watch… the water going up and over…the glitter…”

An hour later, My shirt is dry, looks wet, smells like an oil slick.
The oil is spreading through my hair and I have a dinner engagement on the opposite side of town.

This kind of thing happens to everyone, right?

For illustrative purposes here I am in the restroom at work, showing the oil slick (left of the camera) and the oily ends of my hair.

(mind you, this outfit looked 100% better with the flyaway sweater… hid the hips)

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23 responses

13 05 2010
Tony

Thes sort of events just seem to a part of your world with no way to avoid them. Hilarious post… At least you had an excuse to buy new clothes

14 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

You’re right about the clothes thing, I was dual-purposing my trip to the mall with getting some shopping… however, I wasn’t planning on doing that while smelling like the gulf coast.
At dinner I pulled out my soiled shirt to show my friend and she started gagging because she could smell it across the table.
Made for an interesting afternoon.
Glad other people found it funny too.

13 05 2010
lavenderbay

I’m thinking how you could explain that the soggy glitter is a pre-lactating excretion occuring in only 2% of pregnant women…think your boss would buy that?

14 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

“Whew, I was concerned my glitter wasn’t going to come in!”

13 05 2010
daisyfae

i’m with lavender – ‘glitter lactation’. no one will question that answer…

14 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I’m just wondering how I would have passed the star-shaped glitter with minimum pain.

13 05 2010
morethananelectrician

So…that is what the ladies room looks like.

“Glitter Boobs” are normally reserved for strippers.

14 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

You’re lucky I missed the first stall with the leftover turbpedo.
And the closed door behind me is where the two lesbians were making out.
What’d you think happens in ladies rooms?!

15 05 2010
Jill

Yikes – I thought that kind of stuff only happened me 😛

I’m not even lucky enough to become an eponym – Congratulations!

15 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

All I have to say is thank goodness it’s not just me.
And after a quick run to dictionary.com, I have a new word to use 🙂 thanks!

15 05 2010
Corve

So sorry that happened but you seem to be a trooper through it all. You got the courage

16 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I was outgrowing that shirt anyway.
*quiet sobbing*

15 05 2010
S. Le

Horrible!! So much for fluid-filled, glittery hair brushed then, eh? Hope your dress wasn’t ruined!

16 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

This event totally gets filed under “note to self”

15 05 2010
Dennis the Vizsla

I’m sure this is BP’s fault somehow.

15 05 2010
Jill

@ Dennis – That’s *really* funny!!!

16 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Damn them all!!!

16 05 2010
Dolce

Hell, if I had money for every time I did ‘clutz’ I’d be RICH, RIIIIIIIIICH!!!!

17 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

too bad we can’t charge admission or two-bits-a-gander… man , our vacations would pay for themselves. Plus, we could make spectacles in other countries!

16 05 2010
kyknoord

Your boss should watch that mouth of his. You can snap a hair brush like a twig. That’s no mean feat.

17 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

You don’t mess with the Stephanie.

I break you, like twig.
Den, Wodka.

17 05 2010
thedailydish

And of course this sort of thing ONLY HAPPENS when you are at work. I remember once at work spilling my entire lunch in my lap. I believe I had a big meeting afterward.

17 05 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

It was something tomato based, wasn’t it.
I used the tide pen no less than 3-times this weekend.

I’m going to hire Danny Elfman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMsUwfQdxF8) to follow me for the last 4 months.

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