15 04 2010

Dear Lady Crossing Pearl Street this morning,
You know when is the best time to check for items in your purse?
I’ll give you a hint, it’s not when you’re in the middle of crossing a street.

Dear Tailgater in Front of Me,
Stop signs are for everyone. Stopping with the car in front of you does not qualify as stopping.
P.S. It’s called a blinker, learn it. Use it.Β  Love it.

Dear Personal Space Invaders,
When a pregnant lady has her bump on display, it does not give you the right/liberty/freedom to touch her belly. Maybe she’s just tired of wearing baggy clothes all the time.

Dear Drive-Through Boxes,
If I say I don’t want a combo meal*, please do not ask me if I want fries and a drink with my sandwich.

Dear Tim Hortons,
20 minutes fresh doesn’t apply to decaf?

Dear Parking Lot Patrons,
Parking like a civil human being is one of your duties. I doubt anyone wants to hit your 1994 Grand Marquis.

Dear Bailey,
Please stop rolling in whatever you’re rolling in out in the yard. It stinks and will only result in more baths for you.

*Typically a sammich, fries and a beverage.



17 responses

15 04 2010

I’m guessing that you have not had the best of days. On another day You might have had these thoughts

Dear Tailgater in Front of Me
Thanks for clearing through quickly, one less car to wait for….shame that you crashed and blocked the junction but I found it funny and I’m looking forward to being a witness against you

Dear Personal Space Invaders
That was nice of you to fondle my tummy, sorry that I bit you but hey next time ask permission….

Dear Drive-Through Boxes
Thank you for thinking that I’m like 90% of your patrons and eat like a pig. Please note this bump is only temporary

Dear Tim Hortons
Thank you for taking away 20 minutes of my life that I will never get back again.

Dear Parking Lot Patrons
Love the creative parking that manages to reduce 100 parking spaces into 70

Dear Bailey
Loving that opportunity to bond with you and give you yet another bath

or perhaps not

15 04 2010
S. Le

All oh so true and so humourous!

15 04 2010

I apologize for cyber fondling your belly Steph. I just couldn’t help myself. It’s just sooooo CUTE!

*touch touch*

16 04 2010

oh crap…me too…oh wait…we are Aunty S.L.O.B.S…it is okay…yes???

15 04 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Blacklog: No.

S.le: Right? Not like anyone’s habits are going to change, but it makes me feel better to air it out.

dishy: But diiisssshhhyyy, there’s nothing to touch! There’s no outside feelable actions! You may stare, not touch. Unless you want the arm of ninja to come over, like someone got yesterday.

15 04 2010

Some time ago, I had a tailgater following me on my way to visit my Mom and Dad. The way the streets are laid out in that area, I was able to see a police car patrolling the area. I made sure to make and extra long pause at a stop sign… evidently Mr. Tailgater didn’t see the police car there and when I left the stop sign, he was practically glued to my back bumper. I saw that he got pulled over – I’m guessing he probably got a ticket.

I wonder if Mr. Tailgater learned any lesson there?

I don’t understand the fascination people have with touching a pregnant belly at all. By the sounds of it, I am a definite minority…

15 04 2010

I know! Attach a loofah dog toy to your tee-shirt so that it projects six inches past your belly, and then tie a red flag onto the loofah toy.

15 04 2010

i want to paw your belly too! can i? can i? huh??!?

as for all the other tools you wrote about, i love them. lol.

ps. i’m coming up to your neck of the woods next month. wanna hang out?!??!

16 04 2010

I can’t help it steph – i am one of “those” (aka, belly touchers)

always have been, always will be. i just can’t help myself. fortunately have yet to be decked, but we are talking pregnant women so can’t rule it out forever.

16 04 2010

Yep…I would never dream of going up to someone and rubbing their “beer belly” or in my case belly in general! But a belly with a baby inside…it is like some crazed compulsive urge overcomes me…I have not been hit yet but………I have also learned to ask πŸ™‚ Bless my heart πŸ™‚

16 04 2010

i wouldn’t even touch my SIL’s 8 month belly last year when we went to Syria. I have never understood what drives people to just walk up and rub a woman’s belly. Especially in today’s society, you just don’t know for sure they are pregnant and not just fat. I will say that I love to watch the belly when the baby is awake and playing..but no touchy..
Tailgater was trying to see your belly in rearview mirror and wasn’t paying attention to the road ahead. Bailey is spending quality time with hu-mama now while she has a chance before you’re too big and then baby is here.

16 04 2010

C’mon, that’s like saying:
Dear miracle,
Happen, dammit!

17 04 2010

Whyyyy are people so annoying!?

I’ve never understood the obsession with touching pregnant people’s bellies. Unless it’s like your wife and it’s your baby in there. But random strangers? WEIRD!

19 04 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Jill: Sadly, probably not (re tailgator). And thank you! (re: belly)

lavenderbay: can I use a bear trap?

CWG: We can’t hang out if you’re going to fondle me. Much to the chagrin of our husbands, I’m sure.

dishy: Thanks for the warning!

Connie: at least you ask… that’s a start. The Book says to return the favor by rubbing the rubbers belly. Though that just seems like an invasion of privacy.

hisqueen: That would be funny if I was just getting fat πŸ™‚ Bailey’s excited that it’s spring and all kinds of gross stuff is around the yard. My sensitive nose is less happy about this.

kyknoord: I know, but it’s the verbalization that makes me realize it’ll never happen and that dream needs to die.

bevchen: I don’t know, but when I rule the world, there’ll be rules against these kinds of things.

Everyone: Toyed with not posting the belly-touching on here… clearly a hot topic with mostly everyone.

20 04 2010

I always enjoy your grumbly gripes, I can always relate to them, especially driving ones. Except pregnant ones though…

21 04 2010

I am tooooooouching your belllyyyyy

*touch touch touch*

28 04 2010

Thank you for this, it made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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