One of the local news outlets had posted a number of links to “Last Minute Valentines Day Ideas”.
Because you know, VD (that’s Valentines Day, not Venereal Disease… though, in your case….) hasn’t been shoveled down your throat since December 26th.
Right, so, one of the links (http://theholidayspot.com/valentine/love_letters/) was promoted as letting you personalize your own love letter. For when you care, but not enough to come up with something on your own…
I was expecting more of a Valentines Mad Libs.
Dear (person of interest),
I (emotion) you and it’s not just because (traumatic event) or (looking back, funny event).
And that whole thing with (family member), water under the bridge.
In fact, whenever I hear (song you would hear in a strip club) I think of you and the time we (something that happens in a strip club).
(Aspect of time) Yours,
(your name here)
Hallmark, why haven’t you called me back?!