Love Notes: Downtown Edition

27 10 2009

Dear Driver,
I know and you know that when I’m walking, I have the right-of-way.

Dear Driver,
When I wave you though the intersection, the least you can do is wave back.
I will remember your face, namely your scowl and next time, I will enter the intersection.

Dear Driver,
Believe you me… I want to get hit as much as you want to hit me.

Dear Driver,
Put down the cell phone  and realize that white outlined stop signs aren’t optional.

Dear Guy in the Library Who Tried to Pick Me Up,
‘Twas cute.
Your whole, “I seen you around and well, was wondering if you was single.”
However, girls who are dressed business-like and in a library are often sticklers for proper grammar.
Even if I wasn’t taken.
P.S.
Please stop stalking me from behind the spinner of New Young Adult Fiction.


Dear Driver,
Looking to your right while turning your wheel left, into a crosswalk and not using a blinker while a cop is across the street is not a good idea.
Bonus points because I was a couple feet from your car.
But I’m sure you’re really important and have good insurance.

Dear Driver,
Maybe I like walking.
It’s not like it’s -4 out. Yet.
Save your pity stares for the bum in front of Rite Aid.

Dear Mummerer,
Were you calling me “gorgeous” or was your Turrets acting up?
It’s hard to tell with you downtown folk.

Love,
Stephanie

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18 responses

27 10 2009
S. Le

Fantastic post! These are some of my thoughts as well. The grammar comment and the cell phone whilst driving comments especially!

27 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of stalkers too!

27 10 2009
S. Le

Once a man handed me a note. He wanted me to go out with him. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

27 10 2009
Connie

Drivers and cell phones…who ever thought that was a good idea…I could rant for days LOL

Pray tell…what is Beer Pong? I have some ideas…enlighten me please!

27 10 2009
thedailydish

Beer pong, the sport of champions.

Beer pong is what my former next door neighbor (the 35 yr old frat boy) used to play at 11 am w/ his drinking buddies. They would joke about not liking to work when I would encounter them tanked in the middle of the day. Which was funny and tragically not funny, all at the same time.

27 10 2009
thedailydish

Beer pong is when you hit the ball back & forth a la regular ping pong, but the goal is to get the ball into your opponent’s cup of beer, which he/she then has to consume. It is fun.

27 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

we play on a household door (as we’ve all done remodeling) with 6 cups (or more, depending) on either side in a triangle shape.
Teams of two on each side throw a ping pong ball across the door/table to the other side, trying to get the ball into the cup.
Should the ball go in the cup, the opposing team drinks that cups contents.
Wash, rinse, repeat until one team has no cups left.

27 10 2009
Connie

Thanks ladies…apparently I have led a sheltered, somewhat boring life LOL

27 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Now I wouldn’t say that!
If it makes you feel any better, I don’t like to play.
Pffftt, like I need a reason to drink!

27 10 2009
morethananelectrician

You have your own “House Rules” for Beer Pong. You need to find a meeting. 🙂

27 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

iiissshshhh telz you weeeen I dones drrrinkin.
No has prrrrroblem.
Cheeessseeeburgggerrrrrrr.

28 10 2009
thedailydish

Listen. She doesn’t have a problem. Unless she runs out of BEER!

28 10 2009
thedailydish

PS: If I ever make it to Buffalo, I’s coming over for some pong!

28 10 2009
nat @book, line, and sinker

beer pong? never. in my college days, i was too busy studying in the library (read: smooching husban-dito in the stacks) to partake in such activities!! scandalous!!!

dear stephanie:

please get in your car and drive everywhere–stop playing chicken with the fine folks of buffalo. i’m sure they want to run you down…don’t give them an opportunity.

love,

a jersey driver
xoxo

29 10 2009
thedailydish

Ugh, those Jersey drivers – and their northern counterparts. The Massholes.

29 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

*snigger*

2 11 2009
Tony

You seem to have the same problem with drivers as I do. There is a pedestrian crossing I cross each day to & from work & it is a death trap because the turning & not looking thing

3 11 2009
sammy25

These made me laugh out loud at work!!! I loved them! 🙂

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