Talk About Getting The Final Word…

19 10 2009

While at the pavilion at the cemetery, someone from the military was there making a speech about all the kick-ass service grandpa did.
At the end of it, she mentioned that he had received a purple heart; that’s a medal for being injured during combat.
A whisper comes over the crowd! “We had no idea!”

At the luncheon, Mom and I were talking about the award.
“Gee Mom, why was everyone so surprised to hear he got the purple heart?”
“Even Grandma didn’t know that!”, she commented.
“What are you talking about?”, I ask.
“What makes you think that he got hurt during the war?”, Mom asks, looking confused/interested.
“He told me that he got his junk shot off and that’s why he had an ostomy bag!”
“He did what?”, as Mom tries to contain her laughter.
“He told me that he got shot in the junk! I’ve been telling my friends that Grandpa got his junk shot off and Grandma stayed with him!”
“No honey, he had prostate cancer.”
“WHAT?!?!?!”

Back at Grandma’s and knowing Grandpa, I ask my other cousins what they were told.
The two older boys were told that while sleeping, Grandpa was stabbed with a bayonet.
The younger cousin was told that Grandpa was attacked by a cougar or a tiger; depending which day it was.

That man hook-lined-and-sinkered all of us.
Pretty sure I can hear him slapping his knee and laughing.

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9 responses

19 10 2009
daisyfae

i. love. grampa. hope you and the family are doing ok…

20 10 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

A last joke from the great beyond — very nice wrap-up. 🙂

20 10 2009
S. Le

I think I’m in love. That is priceless!

20 10 2009
John B

OMG, laughing my ass off. As a Purple Heart recipient myself, I love this story. I think I will follow your grandfather’s lead with my own grandchildren. Thanks for sharing your story!

20 10 2009
thegnukid

laughed out loud at that one. but now? time for revenge on the ol’ geezer. go get him with your own (it’s clearly in the genes)…

21 10 2009
nat @book, line, and sinker

hilarious!!!! i can’t believe your grandfather even mentioned his ‘junk’ to you!!!! too much. 🙂 glad you all had a laugh; i’m sure your grandfather was laughing like a hyena over you comparing notes with your cousins…

22 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I can hear him laughing at the fact that he got us all…

22 10 2009
Tony

Ha Ha sounds like Grandpa was a real riot. I’ve never heard it aclled a junk before riot

23 10 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

well, I don’t know if he actually called it “junk” parsay, but I’ve probably blocked out whatever terminology he used.
No one likes to think about Grandpa’s “boys”… except maybe Grandma…. *shudder*

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