Stephanie Art Theatre Presents: WHY CAN’T YOU PEOPLE DRIVE?

15 09 2009

as detailed last year, there are only two fast-moving (read: not local streets) coming from Casa Mak to work.
I’ve been taking “Da two-ninedeen to da ninney to da one-ninney” because “five”* is too stop-and-go.
Well, with the start of school and everyone going back to work/college/rehab, da ninney has been PACKED.
I listen to traffic and weather in the morning, so I can adjust my route/clothing as appropriate. “Usual traffic build up on the ninety…”
So I head out to da two-ninedeen.

Typical Traffic Pattern

Typical Traffic Pattern

YOT and I enter the turn lane… and over in the exit lane is a woman looking quite distressed as if traffic should stop because don’t you know who she is?!
Anyway, this is what she did (and I should mention that those things that look like amoebas are actually other cars. Thus mounting evidence that I suck at drawing)

Where'd you learn that one?

Where'd you learn that one?

(typically, Maniac would have had to wait to cross into the opposing lane, but being very important, she drove on the wrong side of the road and cut behind YOT to get to the proper side of the road… you know, instead of using the intersection)

Further on, and by “further” I mean about a mile, I was greeted with tail-lights.
Typically, I don’t hit traffic until “da fourhunred innerchange at da ninney”… that section was about 5  miles up the road.
Meanwhile, another very important person, this time on a motorcycle, decided to drive on the shoulder (which is a no-no). “Damn it, those people never get caught! (number of swear words)”
A bit further up in the bumper-to-bumper, I see blue and red lights on the side of the road. And the motorcyclist at the side of the road, looking upset.
HAHA!

Finally, the traffic guy comes on and says that due to a lane closure on the ninety-to-da-one-ninety.
What?
That’s another 3 miles up the road!
Less to say, people evidently can’t read this sign and proceeded to make my 20 minute commute turn into an hour commute.

Merge, MF.

Merge, MF.

* for you non-regional dialectics, “Route 219 to Interstate 90 to I-190” and “Route 5”

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11 responses

15 09 2009
nat @ book, line, and sinker

i am SUPREMELY impressed with your diagrams! very clear illustrations–and i LOVE that the maniac made up her own lane…cool!

as for traffic, i sat in some myself this morning…a 4 mile backup which ate up 30 minutes and made me LATE for school. luckily, all the other teachers also take this portion of the route because it’s the only way to the school. principal and all teachers were late. students were happy. classes started at 9:15. joy!

ps. the two workers i saw were leaning on shovels drinking coffee and not FIXING ANYTHING. i think they just shut down one lane for fun.

15 09 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

UGH! Right?! 47 miles of orange cones for a truck and two guys with a jackhammer.
Even working in the construction industry I don’t get it.

15 09 2009
hisqueen

The one thing I was impressed by in Syria was the speed at which roads are repaired. They put in a new sewer line across 4 very large intersections in one day..yep 2 guys dug, 2 guys laid line, guys went back to fill and then paver came thru…all done by the time we left In-laws to go home…No coffee, no lounging(except big boss guy), no slacking. you don’t want to work they will replace you with the next guy who wants to.

No traffic is about the only thing I like about the dinky small town I moved to a few years ago.

15 09 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

looks like we could take a few lessons from Syria.

15 09 2009
daisyfae

i personally think you have a potential career as a courtroom artist. i will maintain vigilance for both maniacs on the road, and wheeled amoebas, which would probably frighten me just as much as the maniac….

16 09 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

grrr. I’ve been spending the last day looking for a sketch (seeing as I can’t remember if it was from Kids in the Hall or The State) where there’s a character artist and a person talking behind a screen. When the artist holds up the drawing, the person has googly eyes and buck teeth. The person comes out from behind the screen and looks exactly like the drawing.
Hm. Maybe that’s funnier in person.
Anyway, the point is, maybe we should have wheeled amoebas.

16 09 2009
Tony

I reckon the maniac knew exactly what she was doing, just no-one else could figure her out. Thanks for the non-regional dialectic info at the end it did have me a bit confused

16 09 2009
Tony

Forgot to mention your artwork is very clear & concise & helped to explain to me the confusing explanation

16 09 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

and my job here is done.

16 09 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

Hey, “da ninney” and “five” used to go by our house (more or less) in Utica! We could’ve hopped on them and driven out for a visit! Except for all the traffic and maniacs that would have gotten in the way, I mean.

16 09 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

let’s not forget the amoebas. One they get a taste of human flesh, nothing else will do.

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