Another Chapter in: Incredibly True Conversations About My Uterus

2 08 2009

At a picnic yesterday, SMS and I start having a general, causal conversation, when THIS happens…

SMS: So,  you never did tell me which country you were going to conceive in.*
me: Right, because that’s gross and creepy.
SMS, in all seriousness: Well?
me, in all seriousness: Really? You’re thinking about your precious snowflake  of a son sticking it in me?**
SMS, enthusiastically: Yes!
me: Yeah, you know what, nothing really ruins a mood like thinking of you thinking of us doing it.***
SMS: Well, I think I’ve been patient enough, it’s been five years!
me: Right.

Conversations like that really make me wish I could bottle up my parents “You’ll have kids when YOU’RE ready” and sprinkle it on SMS. I’d also lend some of it to my friend Stacy, who is in the same boat.

And in conversations I’ve had with my co-worker, what if, heaven forbid, we were trying and I had a teflon ute?

* Yes, she really did say that.
** Yes, I really did say that.
*** Yes, I really did say that.

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22 responses

2 08 2009
Melissa

this conversation rocks me. thank you for saying the things I only think.

typically, it’s my co-workers who constantly think I’m pregnant. I learned last week that someone actually bought me a baby gift this winter when I *gasp* had the flu. that was obviously a cover for morning sickness. I am certain most of them will be more thrilled when I do have kids than my own mother.

I suppose that means I can hit them up all to babysit!

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I would ask if you’re kidding about the flu vs. morning sickness, but I know it’s true.
Then you’re also familiar with the hubbub that comes when you decide to have a water or soda instead of a drink.

That’s weird though that your co-workers would be on bump watch…

2 08 2009
morethananelectrician

You should have come up with the Bahamas as the place…if you could only GET there…hit them up for tickets.

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

We went there last year… and of course Bump Watch 2008 was in full force.

2 08 2009
daisyfae

you need to work on the 1,000 yard stare when she starts that commentary… obviously being direct isn’t getting the message across. if my in-laws had laid that crap on me? i might have kept the children a secret from them for a few years just to be spiteful…

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Hmmm…. “I’m just really fat!” and then stop letting them come over and BANG! LOOK WHO HAS A 5 YEAR OLD!

That is an AWESOME idea.

3 08 2009
Pippa

Wow, Stephanie, that’s just plain weird! My folks and in-laws were pretty pressuring, but nothing like what you’re going through. Kudos to you for that snowflake comment, heehee!

Just go and enjoy Europe, girl!

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I love how she automatically assumes that I’ll become with child while overseas.
It’d be great if I could come back and be “Oh, we were so tired from seeing (insert landmark here)/from walking around (insert area here) that we just passed out in our crepes!”

3 08 2009
Anonymous

Ask her if she wants to video it. But she will have to wear the the skunk or sheep outfit, and she will have to figure out which two you guys are in the yiff.

3 08 2009
Male VIP

BTW…. this posting is your dear old Dad

4 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I was wondering was a yiff was…

3 08 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

Wow … somebody got a serious beating from the Pushy Stick as a child!

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I think she’s pretty much ALWAYS gotten what she’s wanted, so the fact that I’m like, “Um, no… not right now..” makes her hold her breath and stomp her foot.

3 08 2009
Tony

It’s so nice once their born, grow up & finally leave home

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

and then, for some reason, you want them to breed! Perhaps this is some kind of payback, you know “I hope your kids do to you what you’ve done to me!” thing…

3 08 2009
thegnukid

…or try the “blink….blink….blink….” without saying a word, then turning and walking away.

hell, she’s not going to get the message anyway, so may as well be dramatic in a departure from the area, yes?

3 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Well, thanks to daisyfae’s posting today, I’m going to just start carrying around a BFH.

4 08 2009
curlywurlygurly

oh, for god’s sake. just DO IT already. all the cool kids are doing it and you don’t want to be 80 when your kid graduates high school. mwa ha ha. see you in the maternity ward, buddy.

4 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Can we yell at each other, “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!”? Or will we be too busy blogging about birth?

6 08 2009
curlywurlygurly

on the count of three you and i will spontaneously get pregnant. 1, 2, …..

4 08 2009
that girl

Parents just need to get their noses out of their spawn’s business. Sometimes, you know, some people CAN’T have children. I have a friend who can’t and I hate it when people she ask her when she is going to have kids. It’s a bit ignorant for people to assume that everyone can. (End of rant.)

I say you stick to a story like that and ask SMS to be your surrogate. haha.

4 08 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

As if her badgering wasn’t enough, you’re absolutely right, what if we’d been trying…
I think I’m going to sign her up for one of those “Adopt a Baby!”newsletters.

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