Last time I played volleyball (like, two years ago), I thought the ball was hitting my forearms and learned it wasn’t when I proceeded to smash the ball into my own face, lacerating my eyebrow and bending my glasses.
“Don’t be afraid of the ball!” has no meaning to me because I’m pretty sure that sporting equipment has it out for me. This coming from a girl who has hit herself in the head with golf clubs, whacked her back with a baseball bat, kicked bocce balls, bent herself in half while skiing, used her elbows/knees to dust a tennis court, fell off a bike, pulled muscles while paddle-boating…. you get the idea.
So, against my better judgment, I decided to play in the weekly [non-league] volleyball game.
My first game left much to be desired, seeing as I mainly duck-and-covered, screamed in terror whenever the ball came towards me. The second game saw me hitting the ball, just not in an over-the-net fashion. By the third game, I was serving over the net and returning in a somewhat organized fashion.
Game four, however… It’s a close game… within two points or so. I get up to serve. Over the net. Returned. And here’s where things get blurry… The ball came towards me and I backed up to return, and I didn’t back up quite enough… well, let’s say that ones face is not as effective at ball return as say, one’s arms.
The ball slams into my face, knocking me over.
“OH MY GOD!”
“ARE YOU OKAY?!?!”
“Yup. Just gimme a second to writhe here…” As tears flooded to my eyes, no doubt as a result from my nose being walloped with a volleyball. And, for those of you who are wondering how large my head is, the ball hit both my chin and my nose concurrently. At least I had my contacts in.
I finished the game (thank goodness it was a few points from the end) and weaved off the court.
Shortly thereafter I went home, applied ice to my nose and a bag of corn to my forehead.
Clearly, I do not have a concussion as I woke up this morning and neither one of the medical professionals seemed overly concerned.
From hereon out, you will find me guarding beer cooler or on grill prep.