Whirling Dirvish

10 06 2009

I don’t know what’s going on lately, but I can not seem to get my brain to shut-off.
My thoughts are fleeting, I’m fidgety (despite excellent progress at the gym), achy and my focus is… oh look! sunshine!

Here’s to hoping that venting will purge the incessant chatter and maybe I can return to… goodness, I don’t want to listen to this station any more… yeah! new station… right, where was I…

  • In a little bit less than three weeks, I will be thirty. I am not as “freaked out” as I thought I would be. What I am freaked out about are the expectations that come with 30. I say expectations like it’s plural, which it isn’t, unless it’s twins.
    Back when we got married, we decided that around 30 we’d start trying for a family as we’ll have been married for five years… At the time, it seemed reasonable.
    Now that that time has come, well, it’s not that I’m freaked out by having itties, but I want to make sure that things are happening because WE want them to.
    I guess, half of me is terrified that we’d spawn because we’re expected to… I know that MIL is all “GRANDKIDS NOW!” but to me, that totally doesn’t seem like a reasonable reason to have them!
    Burning, unanswered questions include, but are not limited to: Who will watch it/them when I go back to work? Will we be able to afford proper care/nutrition? How will I keep him/her off the pole? What if he/she/them is gravely ill? What if his swim team is defective? What if my eggs revolt?
    I’m going to bank all this baby chatter on the fact that it feels like my uterus got hit with a 2×4 and why do I feel like a stuffed sausage and I’d consider sabotaging my progress if someone offered me a large nerds blizzard…

    I will eat you!

    I will eat you!

  • My tendinitis is acting up like no one’s business. Compounded with the fidgets and the bloating and the cranky….
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24 responses

10 06 2009
stacy

30 hit me HARD. I hated it!!! But then, it came, and all was good. I hope you are doing something fun.

Your birthday is my eight year wedding anniversary. I am with you on ALL of these points re: children. And I have various other issues, mostly dealing with my vanity (I don’t want stretch marks. I don’t want to feel like a cow, i.e. breastfeeding. I don’t want flat boobs.) But I think it’s normal, right? I mean, if we didn’t think about these things, wouldn’t we be bad parents before conception? Or do I tell myself this only because I want to feel better about my neurosis?

I’m so over people telling me it’s a complete life change, I’ll never sleep, blah blah blah blah.

But, you should do it on your schedule, not your age-schedule.

10 06 2009
stacy

Maybe I’m just sayin’ that b/c I’m gonna be 31, at a minimum 🙂

10 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

you’re a hoot…
But I think you’re right; it’d be naive to think that we (physically and mentally) wouldn’t be changed by child-rearing.

It’s the CONSTANT questioning that irks me more than anything.

10 06 2009
stacy310

Did I tell you this? If I did, I’m sorry. Here is a direct quote:
“Stacy, every time I see you, I think that you are going to have a bump. And then you don’t and I just want to cry.”

10 06 2009
hisqueen

It didn’t bother me when I hit 30 it was 30 1/2 that beat me over the head.. Live has gotten so much better since..
But onto your issues: If you don’t feel ready to have kids, don’t!! But do remember as you get closer to 35 and decide that you want kids, the pregnancy becomes more elaborate..meaning- more test, higher risks not to mention that we are just plain older and more set in our ways.
Do what you want, when you want– not because society (ie. MIL) tells you what they want.
I wouldn’t have married a “damn foreigner” if I followed everyone elses advice.. Nor would I be taking the trip of a lifetime to Syria with the most wonderful man in the world–if it were up to others.

11 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

wait, you’re going to Syria?!?! How awesome is that!

10 06 2009
thedailydish

BOY I wish I could reach into the computer and grab that DQ thing RIGHT NOW.

PS: Hang tight sweetie. It’s gonna be o-kay.

PPS: Please pass the jimmies.

11 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Jimmies.
Tee hee.
Oh, it took all my willpower NOT to go to DQ last night.
I had beer instead.

13 06 2009
nat @ book, line, and sinker

they are SPRINKLES, you freak.

15 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Three days Nat?
You’re slippin’.

10 06 2009
Hayden Tompkins

“Back when we got married, we decided that around 30 we’d start trying for a family as we’ll have been married for five years…”

What is with that? My husband had a five year plan too and I didn’t find out about until this year!

11 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

the church guy who married us insisted that we hash out our family plans prior to marriage.
We decided in the car. On the way to the session.

10 06 2009
morethananelectrician

WE squeezed out the first kids around then…but that sounds like more pressure.

But, on a less pressured note…Blizzards are my weakness.

11 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Yeah, I saw that you picked up some…. mmmmmrrrrrrhhhhhh.

11 06 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

We had some ideas about kids at around the 30-years-old mark too. Interestingly enough the 40-years-old mark has now arrived and we still just have dogs and a kitty.

11 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Snicker… by that point, I’m sure my MIL would have adopted a kid for us and left it on our doorstep with a note.

11 06 2009
sas

I’m 36 and I don’t think I’ll EVER be ready for them.
Agree, though, keeping MIL happy is nota reason to have them.
If MIL wants another kid she should buy one on ebay.

12 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Plus, I get to keep my figure!

11 06 2009
mccgood

I wish I could help. I wish there were some magic answers. but i dont’ not for you and none for me. I would tell you do what feels right but sometimes thats hard to listen to as well.

12 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I figure it’ll be like when you fall in love. You just know.

11 06 2009
Melissa

with you on all accounts here- 5 year mark included- which comes up in September. Can’t tell if I’m I experiencing the onset of “baby fever” or severe anxiety. And the questioning….what is with that? I am almost at the point where I want to turn around and ask every offender why, when and where they were when they decided to spawn.

At least you know you’re not alone!

12 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

OOOHHH, we’re September too!
I suppose we could diagnose it as babyfeveranxiety.
Treatable by afternoons spent with colicky/gassy/stomach virus babies.
This condition is exasperated by close contact with sleepy/yawning/smiling babies.

12 06 2009
connie

tsk, tsk children! I will say that my children are my greatest source of JOY and heartache!!! I had two children by the time I was 24…now I am a youthful 50 year old grandma…my mid twenties and thirties were a BLUR!
Only YOU and your husband will know if and when you are ready. I never thought about whether I would or not…you know the drill…get married, have kids…and so on…I wasn’t expecting a lot of things that happened (i.e. divorce) however MOST of the things I worried about NEVER happened!
I saw a title somewhere that I really loved…”Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Taken” Glad to be of service, now where is that Blizzard???

13 06 2009
nat @ book, line, and sinker

don’t drink the kool aid, sister. it’s nothing but trouble. just sponsor a kid in africa or something.

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