I don’t know what’s going on lately, but I can not seem to get my brain to shut-off.
My thoughts are fleeting, I’m fidgety (despite excellent progress at the gym), achy and my focus is… oh look! sunshine!
Here’s to hoping that venting will purge the incessant chatter and maybe I can return to… goodness, I don’t want to listen to this station any more… yeah! new station… right, where was I…
- In a little bit less than three weeks, I will be thirty. I am not as “freaked out” as I thought I would be. What I am freaked out about are the expectations that come with 30. I say expectations like it’s plural, which it isn’t, unless it’s twins.
Back when we got married, we decided that around 30 we’d start trying for a family as we’ll have been married for five years… At the time, it seemed reasonable.
Now that that time has come, well, it’s not that I’m freaked out by having itties, but I want to make sure that things are happening because WE want them to.
I guess, half of me is terrified that we’d spawn because we’re expected to… I know that MIL is all “GRANDKIDS NOW!” but to me, that totally doesn’t seem like a reasonable reason to have them!
Burning, unanswered questions include, but are not limited to: Who will watch it/them when I go back to work? Will we be able to afford proper care/nutrition? How will I keep him/her off the pole? What if he/she/them is gravely ill? What if his swim team is defective? What if my eggs revolt?
I’m going to bank all this baby chatter on the fact that it feels like my uterus got hit with a 2×4 and why do I feel like a stuffed sausage and I’d consider sabotaging my progress if someone offered me a large nerds blizzard…
- My tendinitis is acting up like no one’s business. Compounded with the fidgets and the bloating and the cranky….