Candy! (but only if you’re bad)

3 06 2009

First, my comrade Alice would like to offer you goodies, if you’d just come over to our van.

My Internet-Sister, CurlyWurlyGurly had posted a homework challenge, in which readers/writers post about candy.


Now, the instructions were not to post about your favorite candies (which, for the record would be: root beer barrels, canada mints, stick candy, orange sponge, chocolate-covered-english-toffee) But rather, to post about the worst candy…

You know, the stuff that’s left at the bottom of the candy jar because you’d consider eating some of the canister sugar by the coffeemaker rather then ingest sugar via:

(BLECH!) Ice Mints

(YUCK!) gum that came in baseball/trading cards -tied- Bazooka Joe

vulgar!

(VULGAR!) licorice!

(FOUL!) Anything banana flavored

Yeah, sure the idea was pretty crappy, but so was the taste.

(HABITUAL!) Yeah, sure the idea was pretty crappy, but so was the taste.

(NASTY!) Gummi food

(CONFUSING!) Do you eat the bottle? Just chew it? Why does the liquid taste like plastic?

(WRONG!) Generic Suckers, like dum-dums or those cheap ones that have half the stick sticking out
(RANK!) Public Candy that is unwrapped

Offensive! tootsie rools

OFFENSIVE! tootsie rolls

But you know, when the time comes to be condemned to the pits, the devil already knows my vices.

And he’ll be all, “Alrighty Stephanie, you get to choose what will sustain you, circus peanuts or candy corn..”

I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY TEETH!

I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY TEETH!

I’ll start crying and wailing “candy corn is terrible!” (a la Brier Rabbit), because everyone knows that circus peanuts are pure evil.

Sputter, spew, cough cough

Sputter, spew, cough cough, gag, vomit

Advertisements

Actions

Information

30 responses

3 06 2009
Brook

This is so funny-most of your evil candies are tied to many a pleasant childhood memory. Not that most of these are candies that I would go out of my way for but mild nostalgia gripped me as saw the photos. And well, I like the yellow ends of candy corn(yes-I will very carefully break off that end and scrape any offending orange off and eat away-the good news is that the process takes so long I get bored before I eat too much) and as for the circus peanuts, what are they exactly? Mutant marshmallows? I don’t know but just a bite of one is all it takes to remind me why I don’t love them!

3 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Hey Brook! Welcome to the fray… it’s weird the connotations that come with tastes/scents, isn’t it? And to add to the oddness, I despise licorice but love anise flavored cookies.
I think we’d have reason for concern if my post gave you a hankering for those wax juice things (in fact, I’m sticking my tongue out and gagging a little right now).
That’s a good question… what ARE circus peanuts?!? Hmmm, I asked my Hitch-hikers Guide (google) and maybe they’re so damn gross because they’re FLAVORED LIKE BANANAS!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circus_Peanuts)

3 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Also, do different ends of the candy corn taste different? I’ll just trust you on that one…

3 06 2009
connie

Circus peanuts…EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Don’t like the waxy things either.

3 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

now that I’ve started reading other people’s entries, I think I may have misunderstood the directive….

3 06 2009
Tony

Candy corn, weird. There are some horrible ones out there. I’m trying to type with Dixie on my lap & she won’t stop licking my hands….

3 06 2009
daisyfae

i dunno – mix candy corn with dry roasted peanuts? tastes like a payday bar. which makes me wonder why i don’t just eat a payday bar…

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Yeah, I don’t know why either, seeing as candy corn is concentrated evil.

3 06 2009
thedailydish

HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHHHH!! Funniest post ever – LOL!!!!

Couldn’t agree more. Those ice mints – AHHHHHHH!! I can taste their wretched flavor as I type. Just all of it — too, too funny.

A+

3 06 2009
curlywurlygurly

dishy, i don’t recall appointing you as my teacher’s assistant, so stop going around giving out grades! ahahahahahha

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Did you grandparents always have those nasty ice “mints” too? Pretty sure that’s not even candy…

4 06 2009
thedailydish

Ohh too true – they’re always old and nasty – all semi-melted into their crinkly old wrappers. the CANDY – NOT THE PEOPLE!!!

PS: I know you are joking curls – don’t even TRY!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Yeah, what’s up with that?! Even when you buy them brand new, they’re still all stuck to the cellophane!

3 06 2009
stacy310

I DETEST Peeps. DETEST them. Disgusting. I also hate “white chocolate.” They should put a new name on it, because if it lacks cocoa, it’s not chocolate. And those butterscotch and pink things that old ladies keep in a ziplog bag in their purses. EW.

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Oh, common, peeps are cute! and they’re amusing in the microwave… perhaps then, you’d like http://www.100waystokillapeep.blogspot.com/

3 06 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

Ugh. I hate ALL the forms of “candy” listed there!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

You were 100% correct with putting candy in quotations.

3 06 2009
curlywurlygurly

bouncer darling, now i know JUST what to send you in the care package i’ve been thinking of mailing!!!

thank you so much for partaking in my insane little challenge. the candy you listed was some of the worst stuff out there on the market and i would rather chew on ice cubes than any of the ‘candy’ in your post!

A+ for effort and extra credit for all the photos!!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

aw, shucks! Say, can you sign this early release slip?

4 06 2009
June Theme Posting: Welcome to Candyland! « Curly Wurly Gurly

[…] Stephanie at Please, Stop Bouncing covers a lot of bases, including her least favorite–Circus Peanuts. […]

4 06 2009
Hayden Tompkins

I am…speechless. We started with Alice in Chains, moved to a piñata farting treats and candy, but you almost killed me with “Satan’s Poop”!!

HIGHLARIOUS!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Funny thing is, ‘lissa and I were wandering through an antiquing event and someone had out candy corn, in a dish (here germy germy germy!). We both mentioned how gross it is and I said, without thinking, “Satan poops candy corn”. Then I think we almost got kicked out for too much noise…

4 06 2009
sammy25

I remember for Halloweed always getting circus peanuts in my pillow case….and it made me regret life….they are terrible “treats”…..blah. Plust you named a ton of candies that I despise as well!!!!! We are on the same level!!!! I enjoyed the post!

P.S. Erie is known for our sponge candy!!!!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I’m up the pond from you…

4 06 2009
thedailydish

Bouncy – you are truly hysterical. LOVE this post!!

4 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

MWAH!

4 06 2009
curlywurlygurly

DO YOU PEOPLE EVER WORK?!!!?!?!? am i the only one slaving away??? just wait my little minions. i’m DONE with school next wednesday. then we’ll see who’s too cool to work.

5 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

What’s this “work” you talk of?
I finished proposals this week, so there!

14 06 2009
Steve

Those Circus Peanuts are absolutely terrible. But how about those Necco Wafers? Those taste like awful toothpaste.

15 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Well, Necco wafers… it’s been a while. Despite buying the entire roll, there were only a couple flavors that didn’t suck and seeing as I can’t remember what those flavors were, I suppose we can count them as “gross”.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: