Thoughts from the Mall/Weekend Round-Up

1 06 2009

Thoughts from the Mall
In the never-ending quest to find The Sandals That Don’t Exist (light brown/beige, not cork/not woven, doesn’t look like I’m a hooker or a grandma, moderate height, not stiletto, NOT gladiator style, none of that cut-out-sole oddness…) I braved the MEGAMall because they have a DSW and three other shoe stores I don’t have around me. And yes, I’ve scoured the interwebs, but shoes are tricky as I happen to be flat-footed, pronated and wide across the toes.
But enough about that, here are some observations from Sunday Afternoon at The MEGAMall.

* I hate people
* I hate people in crowds
* I hate the generic ATMs at the mall because they rape me an extra two bucks for using their machines
* Child harnesses are funny
* Teenaged boys should not wear teenaged girls’ pants
* WHY do you stop RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE to do nothing?
* Let me get this straight…. YOU are walking and texting, yet, when you don’t look where you’re going, it’s my job to move out of your way?
* Stereotypes are there for a reason. I’m talking to you Subway employees, pack of stragglers around the exits and packs of inner-city girls with loud fowl mouths and too much gold-plated jewelry.
* Dear Mall Management, why bother leaving the diaper dispenser on the wall if you’ve removed the hardware for dispensing diapers?
* Dear Forever 21, while I understand that you cater to a “junior” sized demographic, I would like to let you know that I noticed your lack of pants above “30”.
* Oh, and you girls in the changing rooms at Forever 21, it’s pretty bad when a skinny girl (not the author, but her friend’s sister) thinks you’re too skinny.
* Also, second-changing-door-in-skinny-skank, you have man feet.
* Some of the clothing choices out now are just plain redunk
* Doors that are marked as “exit” are not always such
* Food court items are starting to become like airport concessions. I paid $2 for a Snapple because I was f-ing thirsty
* Dear Guy at “Cajun Grille” (which is neither “Cajun” nor “grille”), no one can understand what you’re saying, but thrusting deep-fried-sauced-chicken-on-a-stick gets your point across. Good Job!

Weekend Round-Up
Steve’s poison ivy is pretty much all cleared up, which is FANTASTIC as I’ve had a bit of, um, extra energy to burn (read: cleaned/mopped kitchen and foyer floors, massive amounts of vacuuming, wall-washing, organization, multiple “runs” at the gym…).
After the unsuccessful shoe hunt, BabyMomma, her sis, Baby and I went to Chili’s were I was STARVING and proceeded to eat an entire tray of chips’n’salsa, thus producing a two-day stomach ache, which also lent itself to not participating in energy reducing activities. No one likes a puker.

Also, we did a fair amount of basement renovations (allllmost complete). This included my holding up a large piece of plastic (of which I am not at liberty to discuss where I got it from, though it was obtained legally) against the ceiling.
While not a horrid task, there are a few points worth mentioning. A) I am only five-foot-two, thus my full-stretch-height is probably only about six-foot-two, which is pretty much useless with a six-and-a-half foot ceiling. B) I do not wear shoes/socks unless I have to, which is inconvenient when someone leaves aluminum pieces on the carpet. C) The top of my head does not make a good large-piece-of-plastic-rest, resulting in a crash, shriek and an exasperated “STTTTTEEEEEEVVVVVEEE!!!! HHHEELPPP!” (I am fine).

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23 responses

1 06 2009
stacy

I agree with each and every “mall observation.” And I would like to add “I hate people that comment on my fatness to their 22 year old flat chested too skinny daughters, like I am not STANDING RIGHT THERE.” And I specifically second the ridiculous clothing choices. Who are they making clothes for, with these colors and cuts? I have been looking for spring clothes on at least four separate occassions. I bought one black wrap dress.

I also don’t like to wear shoes, which is rather inconvenient during bathroom renovations, and resulted in my ankle bone coming into contact with a pick. OUCH. I’m glad you are okay.

1 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

um, someone called YOU fat? Wow, what a total bitch… sounds like Care and I should come out and beat some ass… and how is your ankle?!

1 06 2009
stacy

Yeah, I tried on a dress, and some woman’s daughter tried on the same one. The woman goes, “Honey she is WAY BIGGER than you.” I almost LOST IT, but I was there with my friend and her baby. The baby precluded me from getting arrested that day. Are ya kiddin!!!

My ankle is okay now. How are your shoulders/head?

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Oh no she didn’t… She’s lucky you didn’t snap a photo…
Funny isn’t it, how babies (no matter how young) tend to make us watch our mouths?

1 06 2009
connie

Clarks has a newish line of sandals that do not look to grandmotherish.
I just bought a very comfy (so far) pair in a brownish beige color. I have plantar fasciitis and heel spurs so comfort and support are important. They can be dressed up or down 🙂

Bouncy darling, you work too hard!!! I planted flowers and played with Duncan Lucky Chance. I posted a vid on my blog of the little pup!

1 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

LOL! Duncan Lucky Chance! That’s ADORABLE!
(and it wouldn’t be so much work if things would go my way…)

1 06 2009
daffy

Your observations are amazing! I was nodding my head and I’m over the water. See… Stupidity does travel! (The texting/walking/moving thing…)
I thought you might like to take a looky here….
http://www.scorpioshoes.com/
Motto – No Sh!t….Just Shoes. :o)

1 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I just flipped back to the Scorpio shoes and dropped my jaw over YELLOW DOCS!!!
Granted though, they won’t match my sundressesforwork, but THEY’RE YELLOW DOCS!!!
I’m off for currency and size conversions as I think I’m in love….

1 06 2009
hisqueen

have you looked at Born’s yet? hubby bought me a pair of mid heel slip ons and I love them. We are off to Chicago this weekend to buy me some new clothes for vacation and a pair of lower heeled Born’s are on the list.
I sooo hate the mall. I only go there when it is for a specific purpose. Then it’s get in and get out.
Have you ever tried the old “excuse you” to the texting individual. I do it all the time w/ people who don’t seem to comprehend the equal space unspoken law. I’m always walking straight into the kids and letting the parents know my displeasure at their lack of manners.

1 06 2009
hisqueen

pls you must never mention shoes again…went to Daffy’s listed shoe site–I may develop a shoe obssesion if I’m not careful..So many cute ones.
I could buy them to match my Miche Bag purse covers. Ohhhh, the hubby may have to get a second job so support future shoe fetishes.

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I did look at borns’… I am VERY picky with my shoes (“you see how picky I am with my shoes, and those only go on my feet!”) and a large number of criteria MUST be met… maybe if I wasn’t so damn picky.

1 06 2009
daffy

This is the worlds best shoe shop…. I love it and it’s on my doorstep so to speak. Literally, just a few miles from me in my nearest city so if it’s easier for me to get you something and send it on, I can do that!
My daughter has just bought these….
http://www.scorpioshoes.com/womens-3/sports-13/ecko-unltd-marc-phantazia-trainers-6237.htm
Not sandles but so cool and full of street cred…apparantly! :o)

1 06 2009
daisyfae

hate malls. shopping as recreation makes my brain melt. families spending the day at the mall… little kids thinking “this is what we do for fun”. no wonder they grow up and MUST HAVE the $150 sweatshirt…

love the shoe link. the europeans kick our sorry american asses in the shoe department. damn the exchange rate, next time i’m across the pond, i’m stocking up!

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Japan’s got us in cute, the Brit’s have us in shoes in accessories… but, apparently, we make good apple pie?!

I do not like to spend the day at the mall either, unless the weather blows and I have NOTHING else to do… basically it’s fun to watch the consumerism.

1 06 2009
nat @ book, line, and sinker

i shop online. old navy and lands end. i despise the mall and would rather wear rags than shop at the mall. as for teenagers…they are my life. i LOVE them. mwa ha ha.

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

On-line shopping doesn’t work in my favor usually, unless I know the brand and the sizing (even then, it’s a crap shoot).
Not to say that I’m odd sized, but maybe “peculiar” is better. Some bands I have to buy at 4 sizes up, some are two sizes down… let’s not even get started on length, expect to say that I almost always wear some kind of heel.

(petites at too short from hip to butt, average is too long in butt to ankle)

2 06 2009
morethananelectrician

I am allergic to malls. I will not think of trying on anything before washing it…I am so glad that I am not a woman…except for the breast thing…it’d be cool to have some of those for a week or two.

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

lol, you’d get bored of boobies… they just get in the way.
I can only imagine it’d be like texting; you wouldn’t watch where you were going and I’d have to get out of your way.

2 06 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

This is why I don’t go to the mall …

2 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

what I don’t get is how I can go into a store (like, say, Kohl’s) and not have the same experiences… wouldn’t you think that retail’d be retail?!

2 06 2009
thedailydish

LOL!!!! Bouncy you are hysterical. Your mall analysis worthy of reproduction. The last one was my favorite. HAHAHHAHAHAHHHH!!

PS: Glad to hear you & Steve are both okay. Keep up the good work.

2 06 2009
Becky

I used to sell shoes and I had one guy who liked to try on the 3″ heels, “looking for a pair for my mother – same size”. Right. It was then I learned that a man’s feet do not fit correctly in women’s shoes, ever.

3 06 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

lol, well, I mean, at least he got an “E” for effort… either that or his mother was a large woman in the worlds oldest profession…

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