And, I Can be Rented Out for Parties!

12 05 2009

Since last week, I’ve pretty much been a train wreck.
It’s a vicious cycle… I get agitated and I can’t sleep so I get agitated because I’m not sleeping which hinders my sleeping, thus making me agitated… Friday night to Saturday Morning, I was tossing so much that I kept The New Mrs. awake. And that man pretty much slept through a near-bursting appendix.
Not to mention that we have/had five pretty major projects that are due this week and I’m the lead “make this look professional” person.

So last night, after a particularly abusing day with Constant Comment, I ended up at our friends house where The Group was playing volleyball.
Seeing as I don’t play volleyball (or any sport, really), I ended up how I always do… on Child Care.
I don’t really mind. It gives the kids parents a chance to have conversations that don’t revolve around princesses and I get practice*.

At one point, I’m holding a plug in the 6-week-old’s mouth, crouching with an oversized princess book, having an almost 4-year old sit on one knee and an almost-2-year-old screeching and pointing at a cartoon character [in said book] who had fallen down.
Said 2-year-old also referred to me as “Mommy!”.

After being used a a jungle gym, playing hide-and-go-seek, chasing toddlers around, getting slimy tennis balls thrown at me, making some popcorn on the stove and wearing socks to bed, I am proud to report that I only dreamed of living in the outskirts NYC and having my duplex catch on fire.
(which, for the record, is AWESOME compared to my usual subject matter)

* As I later found out, crying back at a crying baby is not widely acceptable child care protocol.

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23 responses

12 05 2009
kyknoord

* It may not be widely acceptable, but it is still acceptable.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ kyknoord: I think the Baby Daddy even called out “Good Job Stephanie”.

12 05 2009
Ginny

While the crying back at a baby may not be acceptable, I’ve found it to be extremely effective.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ Ginny: Primal scream therapy.

12 05 2009
hisqueen

agreed with effective, not to mention when there are temper tantrums one must be willing to actively participate. It helps when you can have a bigger, louder and better tantrum. Stops them cold in their tracks. Not sure what to make of the grown up on the floor kicking, crying and just acting silly. Love the princess books. takes you away to Never, Never Land. ( no not Michael Jacksons house..god forbid)
Did you look for those special sleeping socks with Aloe yet? may come in very handy if you can keep them away from Bailey. My dogs destroyed both pairs right away.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ hisqueen: I do have aloe socks, but due to my sweaty-foot-itis, they’re a bit too, um, moist, for my pleasure.

12 05 2009
daisyfae

i did the ‘mirror tantrum’ trick, too…. really does freeze the little bastards. doesn’t mean they won’t do it again, though. i was never brave enough to do it in the grocery store. if i had it to do over again? probably would…

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ daisyfae: I will have to try that with the older ones… the six-week old doesn’t really seem to “get it”.

12 05 2009
morethananelectrician

Try throwing up on one of them…they do it on us…we ought to be able to do it to them!

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ mtae: that is a fantastic idea…

12 05 2009
thegnukid

i think it’s perfectly acceptable to cry back at a screaming child. hell, it’s gotta make you feel better at least. that and sneaking a few shots of rum into their juice bottles… it’s for their own good. that’s my story and i’m sticking to it.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ gnu: *scribble scribble scribble*

12 05 2009
Anonymous

Mmmmmm… let me see… If you have them hop up and down on one foot, open and close their hands, spin around and go “na na na na” it should help. It always did for you.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ anonymous: You’re not very cloaked. And that only worked when I got hurt. ‘member that fit I threw in Mr. Danny’s over that pink dress? Now, that was a tantrum… I do believe I was left there.

12 05 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

What’s your usual dream subject matter? Ever since we moved to California and got attacked by the Cedar Fire and then the Witch Fire, I’ve added wildfires to my repertoire of dream disasters, which previously included volcanoes, tornadoes, alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, Armageddon, etc.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ DennistheVizsla: Egads, fire always did it for me too… mainly the dreams have been of the repetitive/sequenced nature. Odd thing is, typically, I’m in this same town/city, so I know where I am. I’ve started mapping it out.

13 05 2009
thedailydish

OOOh not exactly a “cool down” after work huh? LIKE I SAID – YOU TAKE THE MARGARATOR!!

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ dishy: I would burn that thing out in no time.

14 05 2009
stacy310

I have one. IT’s a necessary investment.

13 05 2009
connie

I threw a screaming “crying” fit one day and the children freaked out and behaved the rest of the week. To be effective you must not do too often.

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ connie: Yeah, that’s kinda what I figured… good thing the screamer is still a baby.

14 05 2009
nat @ book, line, and sinker

I’d rather have typhoid than children. Hahahaha.

PS. Are you sleeping yet?!

14 05 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

@ nat: Kinda. I’m more wondering how I’m going to get through sleeping in socks when the weather heats up. Nothing says attractive like tank top/boxer/fuzzy socks.

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