Adventure with Constant Comment

10 04 2009

Setting The Way Back Machine for approximately three weeks ago… (and slightly embellished to avoid dull details)

me: Hey there not-yet-on-my-last-nerve-guy*, I emptied this office a while ago, so take a look and let me know if there’s any specific supplies you want or need and I’ll place an order.
Constant Comment: I should be good, I’ll make due with what’s in the stock room.
me: Alrighty. Well, if you find there’s something you need, I place an order every few weeks or so.

Reset The Way Back Machine to fast-forward back from three weeks to two weeks ago…
CC arrives at my desk in all sorts of a tizzy: Do we have any “prismacolor” erasers?
me: I personally have not seen one, but I can certainly order one for you.
CC: You DON’T have prismacolor erasers?!
me: I keep a pretty tight watch on the stock… let’s see if I can find you something in the supply book. *flip flip flip* no “prismacolor”… does it have another name?
CC, in a you-idiot-way: Art gum.
me: AHHH, here it is! Okay, I just got an order in, so I probably won’t place another right away unless you absolutely need this right away.**
CC: I. Guess. Not.
me, cheerfully: Okay then!

Setting The Way Back Machine to Wednesday, the day the erasers arrive:
CC comes thundering up to my area, announcing his arrival by pounding both hands on my desk. He is holding a pair of 7″ standard shears in his hand. He is opening and closing the shears, cutting the invisible paper in the air.
me, charmingly: Yeeeessssssss?
CC: *snip snip* Do we have *snip snip* any extra *snip snip* of these *snip snip* around?
me, he’s *snip snip*ing though my talking: I don’t think we do…
CC: *snip snip* what?! *snip snip*
me, CC is still *snip snip*ing: I know there aren’t any in the stock room.
CC: *snip snip* Well, I *snip snip* NEED a pair *snip snip*
me, CC’s *snip snip*ing: I just got the erasers in, I can order you shears when I place an order for paper next week.
CC: I got these*snip snip* out of the drawer *snip snip* with the coffee. *snip snip* THIS *snip snip* IS a place of business *snip snip* and you SHOULD *snip snip* have extra of these *snip snip* things on-hand! *snip snip*
CC walks away, mumbling.

Guess there’s no pleasin’ some people.

* Not his real name, but since has earned the moniker “Constant Comment”
** Prismacolor eraser: $0.69. Fuel Surcharge: $1.00.

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17 responses

10 04 2009
brandnewmelissa

Look at me, look at me! I made a blog. I’m real now! WOOO!

10 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ melissa] holy crap! you ARE real! Seeing as I believed in you anyway, do I still get a basket?

10 04 2009
Connie

I am so impressed with your self control…NO WHERE does it say and I snatched the snip snip snippers out of his hand and ……

P.S. I would be calling all s.l.o.b.s to visit me in jail after my arrest for assault…i didn’t mean to hurt the suit really I didn’t

10 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ Connie] I know! My MIL asked about about 5 times if I was bring “nice” to CC…

10 04 2009
morethananelectrician

Scissors boy might want to cut back on the Mt. Dew!

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ mtae] Scissors should cut back on talking to me.

11 04 2009
kyknoord

By the way, I thought you should know that people get really annoyed if you keep a dictaphone in your desk and play back bits of conversation back at them. It’s a “violation of rights” or some such claptrap.

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ kyknoord] duly noted.

11 04 2009
Dolce

You could always beat him with a stick?

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ dolce] I could… but I like my job… but they do have conjugal (sp?) visits in jail…

11 04 2009
thedailydish

Next time he comes up to ask for something, tell him it’s in the supply closet – then push him in and lock the door. He’ll be thinking twice about just how BADLY he needs that 3 hole punch..

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ dishy] Can I borrow one of those wedges to stick under the door?

11 04 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

You should make sure to always be chewing gum in the office, so the next time he asks you for Art Gum, you can take it out of your mouth and stick it right on his forehead.

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ DennistheVizsla] “Did I tell you about the time I created chewing gum?!” and then I’d have to staple my hand to get away.

13 04 2009
daisyfae

you should purchase a gun with the next supply order. first gun? the kind that shoots darts. second gun (if CC doesn’t get it)? paintball gun. third? Um… are you in a state that has a ‘concealed carry’ law?

13 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ daisyfae] damnit, stupid internet….
Anyway, my reply was going to be a shot from “Old School” where Frank the Tank has the dark sticking out of his neck.
Alas…

15 04 2009
Mr Bill

Black market items. I hope you have #2 pencils.

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