6 04 2009

Following are questions I do not have the answers to.
If you have any insight into these paradoxes, please, add them in the comment section.

Situation 1) “Close Gym Parker”
Why do some people circle the parking lot at the gym looking for the closest possible spot? I mean, really… if you’re going to the gym for the exercise/movement, are the extra couple of feet going to ruin your mojo?

Situation 2) “Constant Smoker”
There’s this guy who catches the 8:50 train.
He smokes rightupuntilthelastpossiblesecond. On the train, he gets a smoke ready. As soon as he’s off the train (which is only two stops up, I’m talking like, maybe five minutes) he lights up. He lights up again before going into Horton’s then again as soon as he gets out.

Situation 3) “The Half-a-Stick Smoker”
I worked with someone who smoked “good” smokes (read: Marlboro). Here in NYS, good smokes cost over $6 a pack. She would smoke less than half a cigarette, snuff it out and dispose of it in the buttjar.

Situation 4) “The Weather Pessimist”
This is the person who is NEVER happy with the weather. EVER. “Oh, it’s too hot!”, “COULD it be any colder?!”, “It’s too windy!”, “It’s never sunny!”, “It’s too sunny!”
What weather makes these people happy?




16 responses

6 04 2009

1) It depends. Is this person circling the lot, or just waiting for someone to leave? I have been RUNNINGLATE for classes, and waited for the best spot (because parking at my gym is horrible) so that I could get to class on time.

For the rest of them – you got me 🙂 I don’t undestand smoking, at all. Or weather pessimism. Except today, because it seriously looks like its about 8 pm outside.

6 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

for #1, the person is not going to class. They just don’t want to park far away… (there’s not a class commencing when this happens)

6 04 2009

In which case, I’ve got nothing! It seems to be quite contradictory… needing a close spot at the gym. Are these people that put on makeup to go to the gym, and pose on the equipment for the meatheads?

6 04 2009

Each of these can be explained quite easily: There are lot of idiots out there.

6 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Wow, second reply and I already feel as though my questions have been answered.
Are you god?

6 04 2009

Number Three: I am one. What happened is this- when I was nine yrs old, a chinese man came to our school to talk about China. He was smoking in class (that was ok in the 70’s), but said it was fine- in his culture, they only smoke half the cigarette, because the unhealthy part is at the butt-end. I was happy to take his advice. Only now, when it’s smoke-break time, I have to have TWO half cigarettes. It is expensive, relatively- but cigarettes here are twenty rand- say, $2.50 a pack.
Healthy and cheap- the wonder cure!

6 04 2009


Cannot account for any of these, but perhaps the answer to #6 is a COLD DAY IN HELL?

6 04 2009

When #6 really = #4.

6 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Oh, see, here am I going, “Did someone else post a list” and “Maybe Dishy remarked on the wrong page” and “I thought I asked four questions, then again, I also thought it to be a good idea to hit the snooze bar 4 times this morning…”

6 04 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

People out here in California are crazy for parking — they will sit there and block traffic for three minutes waiting for somebody to finish loading their car with groceries just so they can park fifteen feet closer to the door of the supermarket. In CALIFORNIA, where the weather is, um, perfect. Just walk the extra five yards for the love of all that’s holy! Aaargh, don’t get me started …

7 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

don’t get you started? sounds like you’re on that…

6 04 2009

Number one would be my wife (if she knew the location of ANY gym) and number four would describe her perfectly. If the weather happends to be 65 and calm…she is on the look out for pollen.

7 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing


8 04 2009

#1-3: These people don’t know the meaning of the word, “wasteful.” As for #4, some people can’t keep up a conversation unless they’re complaining about something.

15 04 2009
Mr Bill

#4 Tucson, Arizona

16 04 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

[@ mr. bill] :p
You can keep your melting shoes.

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