temper temper

8 03 2009

scene: Deli counter at Wegmans.
characters:
* Early Retirement Couple (to be referred to as :ERC)
* Chatty Cathy (to be referred to as : CC)
*Heroine with deli #82 because the pre-order kiosk is MIA (To be referred to as: me)

ACTION!

Deli Clerk: NUMBER EIGHTY!
CC gives the “wait wait!” finger to female ERC: Oh, that’s me! A pound of seasoned roast beef!
Deli Clerk slices specialty roast beef.
Deli Clerk: Anything else?
CC continues to talk to Female ERC.
Deli Clerk: MADAM? ANYTHING ELSE?
CC: no.  (turns to ERC) and then I quit smoking!
ERC: Awesome!  blah blah blah
Another Deli Clerk: Eighty-one!
ERC & CC: blah blah blah blah blah!  Laugh.
Deli Clerk: Number eighty-two?
me: Yup!
CC: OH MY GOD! (runs back up to counter) I NEED a pound of ham!
me, glaring.
CC to ERC: blah blah blah blah.  FIVE WEEKS!!
ERC: hahhaha blah blah blah.
Deli Clerk to me: I’m sorry.
me, glaring
CC and ERC: blah blah blah blah
Deli Clerk slices ham.
CC and ERC: blah blah kids!  college!  cars!
Another Deli Clerk: EIGHTY-TWO!
me, short: yup.
Deli Clerk: Anything else?
CC: blah blah blah blah no. (takes ham) blah blah blah blah.
me, voice over: You flippin’ bitch. I should find your SUV in the parking lot and let the air out of the tires.

But I didn’t.
Nor did I grab her by the back of the head and smash her head into the deli case. Nor did I run into her with my cart. Nor did I pelt her with eggs/hamsteak/jar of gravy.
Because really, what would that solve.  Well, except my anger.

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8 responses

8 03 2009
Dennis the Vizsla

It would also serve as a warning to any other CCs who might be in line behind you, or watching from elsewhere, or who see video of it at the annual Chatty Cathy awards and luncheon which is held from April 2nd through April 16th every year …

9 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

hmmm, fifteen minutes of fame could afford my bypassing t he deli counter all together…
If only I would have chucked a pineapple at her, I could have kept her in the basement until the awards.

9 03 2009
dog_geek

I dunno… pelting her with hamsteak might have solved more than just your anger. You never know until you try…

9 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

!!! I never thought of that! I was totally nay saying the whole thing without even trying! I can only hope I see her next week.

9 03 2009
kyknoord

I have to agree with dennis & dog_geek. These things need to be tested scientifically. For the advancement of science, of course.

9 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

well, if it’s for the benefit of science…

11 03 2009
plumpdumpling

That last paragraph really reminds me of something out of the book “American Psycho”. Except that Patrick would have actually done it.

I tell you this to let you know that you’re one step away from homicidal.

11 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

I’ll take that as a compliment!

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