Stuff and Things

6 03 2009

1) I was seriously planning on getting some coffee from the local place in the “mall”*.  However, when I approached the doors, there was a guy there, holding the door open for people.  At first I thought that they worked with the guy, then I saw his lips moving.
Bum.  Hobo.  Beggar.
I opted to by-pass coffee and spent the next couple hundred feet wondering what it was that made me so uncomfortable- to the point that I didn’t want to use any of the other sets of doors.

2) WTF?

WTF is THAT?!

WTF is THAT?!

‘lissa and I went out last weekend and found, THAT.  Now, the ‘hood we were in is AFFLUENT. As in, one of the two suburbs that professional sports people live in.
I’m sure you’re looking at it thinking, “What’s the big deal?  It’s a ponytail.”  Nut-uh girlfriend.  That is a straight-up beavertail, full-on dread (just one).
And like, ew.  Really.  Can you imagine what that thing smells like?!

3) Yesterday at the gym, I ran.
I ran so far away.
Yes, I ran.
I ran all- of fifteen minutes-ish.
For a while, I was clocking 5 miles an hour, but it was pretty much at 4.5/mph.
While I could not out run a chicken (top speed: 8/mph) I am prepared if I am chased by a cockroach, ghost crab or housefly.

* “mall”: Main Place Mall, which consists of three shoe stores, two dollar stores and a food court.  Oh and the coffee shop. Also, a place for stabbing. It mainly consists of office space.

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15 responses

6 03 2009
sas

man i thought i was having a bad hair day. not anymore.

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

do people take photos of your hair?
no?
Then it’s a good hair day.

6 03 2009
stacy310

That’s crazy. Even funnier that you took a photo of it.

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Not to mention that the lady who was parked behind us had the utmost patience while I kept YOT in reverse with the brake on while I dug for my camera…

6 03 2009
Life With Dogs

Perhaps the subject of #2 like to slap the ground to warn friends of impending danger?

Oh strike that, they are just tacky.

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

by friends do you mean “houseful of cats”?

(not that there’s anything wrong with that….)

6 03 2009
Life With Dogs

Can I say houseful of beavers without chuckling?

Nope 🙂

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

this whole reply thread is ripe for the snickering…

6 03 2009
morethananelectrician

I don’t think a chicken could run at max speed for very long…I think you could beat a chicken in a 50 yard race…if your butt didn’t cramp up on you.

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

Stupid butt!
*punch punch punch*
ooowwwwwwww.
Like seriously, it hurt to walk to the restroom.

6 03 2009
Melissa

Yeah, thanks a whole lot, dear.
I had mercifully blocked that image from my mind, choosing to focus instead on the awesomeness of our day.
I am now creeped out all over again. I am also creeped out that we walked around that entire place, which really wasn’t all that busy, and never saw her again.
My guess is that she was waiting under the stairs to snatch little children for her lunch.

6 03 2009
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

that last line gets added to the list of reasons why I love you.
You do realize that she was pretty much the turning point of our day.
Her and her drain snake of hair.

6 03 2009
natalie

i still want mashed potatoes.

6 03 2009
natalie

and STOP taking pictures of me without my consent. k, thanks.

6 03 2009
Connie

I never have understood “dreds”, for me it is I dread to see what is lurking in there, can you wash it or is it waterproof? and how do you get one that size eww…eww…am going to wash my own hair now b/c I’ll feel better.

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