1) I was seriously planning on getting some coffee from the local place in the “mall”*. However, when I approached the doors, there was a guy there, holding the door open for people. At first I thought that they worked with the guy, then I saw his lips moving.
Bum. Hobo. Beggar.
I opted to by-pass coffee and spent the next couple hundred feet wondering what it was that made me so uncomfortable- to the point that I didn’t want to use any of the other sets of doors.
‘lissa and I went out last weekend and found, THAT. Now, the ‘hood we were in is AFFLUENT. As in, one of the two suburbs that professional sports people live in.
I’m sure you’re looking at it thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s a ponytail.” Nut-uh girlfriend. That is a straight-up beavertail, full-on dread (just one).
And like, ew. Really. Can you imagine what that thing smells like?!
3) Yesterday at the gym, I ran.
I ran so far away.
Yes, I ran.
I ran all- of fifteen minutes-ish.
For a while, I was clocking 5 miles an hour, but it was pretty much at 4.5/mph.
While I could not out run a chicken (top speed: 8/mph) I am prepared if I am chased by a cockroach, ghost crab or housefly.
* “mall”: Main Place Mall, which consists of three shoe stores, two dollar stores and a food court. Oh and the coffee shop. Also, a place for stabbing. It mainly consists of office space.