Regardless That the Office is Out of Coffee, my Day Will Not be This Bad

12 02 2009

And again we step into the time machine…
Today has not been going well, between the restless sleep, the blankets being hogged, waking up early to avoid the disaster of traffic/power outages and now the office is out of coffee…
I need to remind myself that as bad as today is, it will not be as bad as August 22, 2007.

doorin doorout

As some of  you may recognize, this is/was the downstairs bathroom door.

Ends up that the little latchy thing and it’s respective barrel-thinging fell loose from the handle and into the latchy-thing-hole in the frame.

After 10 1/2 hours (and the only day Steve didn’t stop home before golf), I had to break my way through the door with a fucking brick.  Thank you previous homeowners for buying a thin door.

Less to say, the downstairs bathroom is out of commission for a while.

Common Inquiry 1) It took you 10 hours to break out?
Response) No, breaking the door was the last resort after I realized that I would be in there for another three hours while Steve golfed.

Common Inquiry 2) Did you REALLY have to break the door?
Response)
Plan 1) Remove pin from hinge, wiggle door and make a smoothie for breakfast before going to work.
Plan 1 Flaw) Larger part of hinge was attached to the frame. I would have had needed a good inch to clear the nub.  I did remove the pins with a nail clipper and a brush.  Eat your heart our McGyver.
Plan 2) Crawl between the tub and the wall into the laundry.
Plan 2 Flaw) The cat barley fits back there.  And she doesn’t have boobs to contend with.
Plan 3) Remove handle hardware.
Plan 3 Flaw) Lack of tools.
Plan 4) Remove section of wallboard under sink and wiggle into the laudry.
Plan 4 flaw) Thick wallboard and lack of tools.  My new best friend, the brick, was hurtled at the wallboard with no damage.
Plan 5) Remove wall mirror/vanity and drop into Laundry.
Plan 5 flaw) Lack of screwdriver.  I did find a dime to remove said screws, but they were tightened by some kind of electric screwdriver.  McGyver, call me.
Plan 6) Remove light fixture, crawl through cieling and land on former dining room table.
Plan 6 Flaw) Height or lack there of.  Size of fixture hole.  Oh, and let’s not forget the heating duct placed directly above bastard door.

Common Inquiry 3) So how did the brick help?
Reponse) I threw the brick into the door until there was a hole.  Then I jammed hairbrush in the hole to pry off the plywood.  Repeat process for other side.

Common Inquiry 4) I bet Steve came home and flung the door open.
Response) WRONG.  After 15 minutes AND PROPER TOOLS, he still couldn’t get the intact lock out.

Common Inquiry 5) You mean you don’t shower with your phone in the bathroom?
Response) Frankly, I’m not popular enough to get calls while I’m in the shower.  I do however now leave the doors to the bathroom open.  ALL THE TIME.  A voyers dream!

Hell, I don’t spend 10 hours a WEEK in the bathroom under normal conditions.

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5 responses

12 02 2009
sas

I bow to you Ms Mcgyver.
I probably would have hyperventilated and fainted. But that’s just how I roll.

SB: Welcome to the fray sas! I did a fair amount of freaking out… it was far more embarrassing why I wasn’t at work.

12 02 2009
curlywurlygurly

that is CLASSIC. why didn’t you just stay in the bathroom for a while longer? you had water and a potty.

hey, do you have power up in wny? i was reading about the current conditions up there and it sounds a bit breezy. here at school, a giant tree fell down across the entry way and has been causing havoc around here. fun!

SB: We had some flicking power this morning… let me check with NYSEG… looks like we’re up and running… I didn’t see any major destruction on my way in, except the one kid whose parent didn’t get the message that school was closed so he was standing in the sideways rain, waiting for the bus that would not arrive.

12 02 2009
Connie

Off the wall inquiry..did you have a brick in the bathroom anticipating the need for a possible breakout?

I needed a chuckle…thanks ever so much!!! and by the way your shoes are lovely.

SB: Glad to provide a chuckle. In the sump pump room (which is in the bathroom) there were some bricks from the previous owner, we never really paid attention to them…

12 02 2009
morethananelectrician

I didn’t have but one other way out through the door, but it would have been tough to explain here. I would be leaving doors open from this point forward!!!!!

13 02 2009
hisqueen

You are a Genius. I now take my cell phone everywhere–even when I run outside w/ the dogs–Have locked myself out of my house 2x’s in my jammies– Of course when no one is home. Very well thought out escape. Call those previous owners and thank them for their junk left behind.
Do have one question though—How is it that Bailey wasn’t able to open the door and let you out. Seems like a pretty smart dog– if she could rig the door, she should have let you out. Perhaps you didn’t offer enough cheese for her to feel it was worth her while to release you.

SB: Bailey just plays a smart dog. She spent the day on the sofa. Plus, it was a round knob, not a push-latch.

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