Someone told me that there was a football game on last night.
I was busy trying to drink away my inherited family.
Highlights included, but not limited to:
- MIL standing rightinthedoorway when we arrived with a bag and large crockpot
- Aunt staring me down while stating that “99 degrees is too hot for kids to be in a hot tub” As if I am supposed to know this random fact.
- Another Aunt asking why it was too hot and my reply “because it cooks their brains and then we feast!”. I’m sure you can imagine the look THAT got.
- Jock Jams
- Realizing that a number of items on my iPod are from Jock Jams
- Dial-up interwebs. No, I’m not kidding.
- DrunkenUncles dog continuously humping Steve’s leg
- Under-5 child showing other Under-5 children where the cellar door is, followed by the strict warning not to open the door
- Mispronunciation of “celery” (how? “sal-a-ree”)
- Dry contacts
- Another Aunt’s SUPER CREEPY boyfriend
- That same aunt’s 14-year-old daughter sporting leopard velour pants with a cami and 3/4 of her bra sticking out. AT A FAMILY EVENT.
- Frozen shrimp ring
- Mass confusion over arrangements for family members to attend FRIDAY’S hockey game
- Not winning squares
- 2-1/2 year old pronouncing my name “Ta-eff-an-ee”. Okay, that one was cute.