That’s Okay!

21 01 2009

Recently, I’ve taken to stop saying “That’s okay!” when people do something rude and then apologize.

Examples: getting rammed with a shopping cart, people farting in elevators, line-cutters, door-droppers, personal space invaders, irrational car(t) parkers…

I’ve stopped saying “That’s okay” because you know what, it’s not okay.
YOU HIT ME IN THE LEG WITH A SHOPPING CART.
A shopping cart you were pushing in direction A while looking in direction B.
It’s not okay.
You can still say sorry but it’s really not okay.

People seem to be angered/hurt/confused when you do not tell them it’s okay TO BLOCK THE EXIT, but I’m not going to encourage your bad behavior.

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6 responses

21 01 2009
thegnukid

i still find myself apologizing when the other person does something wrong. for example, if they come roaring around a corner on the wrong side of the hallway (??) and run into me, i still find myself saying, “Oops, sorry!”

gotta stop that. good luck with you doing so.

SB: Thing is, there’s so many other non-apolitical things you can say… like just “oops!” or when they say sorry, I say “thank you”. And then you don’t want to kick yourself afterward.

21 01 2009
morethananelectrician

I think that I subconsciously stopped this too…maybe yesterday.

SB: Isn’t it great?!

21 01 2009
curlywurlygurly

hmmm…your recent posts seem a bit, um…snappish? i think i’l put together an emergency chocolate package for you to help you through. lolz.

SB: well, this happens. It’s like one thing sets me off, I purge and then back to posting about hedgehogs.

22 01 2009
stacy310

I’ve not only stopped saying “That’s Okay.” I now give people the dagger eyes… like, did you SERIOUSLY just step on my shoe, and you are not going to attempt to apologize???

22 01 2009
pannonica

Since you posted this, I’ve been searching in vain for a story I heard on the radio (read in a magazine?) a few months ago. I’ll just have to go from memory and can’t corroborate it:

This fellow decided to be very deliberate about his approach to this phenomenon. When someone did something egregious such as rudely and violently bumping into him (or any of the other transgressions you related) and not apologizing, he’d say “I’m sorry!” Usually the offending party wouldn’t react or might say something like, “that’s okay.” Then this guy would point out that in fact the other person was at fault and should have apologized, which almost always elicited a puzzled look or even a sneer. Then this fellow would be even more analytical, wax philosophical, and so forth. Over a period of months, he became increasingly frustrated with the overwhelming lack of concern others demonstrated and correspondingly escalated his reactions.

If I recall correctly, out of all the incidents, only one person seemed to have even partially appreciated what he was getting at, but still didn’t seem likely to change her ways.

Then he gave up.

SB: At least I’m not the only one who questioned the abuser apologizing… Perhaps I should make myself a chart of when to wave people off vs. when to go ballistic.

22 01 2009
curlywurlygurly

@pan re: “then he gave up…”

if he lived in jersey, the end of the story would have read something like, “and then he got shot dead for being a wiseass.”

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