You. Sweaty Man. Out of My Gym.

8 01 2009

I’ve been a member of my gym since last March.
In that time, I’ve hardly had to compromise with cardio machines and I always knew where the weights were.
Things have changed.
The tide has turned.
I went Monday after work and the place was PACKED.

Some of the things I noticed from the n00bs:

  • Large man sweating on treadmill.  Arms cut out of shirt with “air holes” down to his waist.  Assuming that’s where a waist would be.   He DID NOT wipe down his machine.
  • Cell Phones EVERYWHERE
  • Full-sized lockers (there are talls and shorts) with A PAIR of shorts in them
  • Lockers with contents and no locks
  • Free weights left wherever the previous member was done with them.
  • People I’ve never seen
  • So much use of the word “like” even I almost barfed
  • (the parking lot is quite sizable) People driving around the first two rows of parking to find a spot close to the door.  Oh, hey, excuse me, but WTF are you going to do when you get inside?  SOME of us park away to WARM-UP before we get inside.  That’s okay, I’d bet you’re the guy who let one rip on the adjacent ‘mill.

Please, tell me the “resolvers” (as I’ve named them) will be gone soon.

Did you make any resolutions?  How go they?

Tomorrow is “progress day” for me and I’ll either be happy or disappointed…. because you know, that’s a change from normal by none.




7 responses

8 01 2009

I am resolution free, but the gym should clear out in about 6-8 weeks.

SB: 6-8 weeks? But I’m fluffy noooooowwwwww

8 01 2009

You can tell from the poll I am WAY CONFIDENT.

PS: Gym will resume normalcy by Feb. 1st.

SB: OOOHHH 2/1?!?! That’s so close!!! So excited!

8 01 2009

Check out this incident in Manhattan from last year:

Gym Rat Gets Worked Over During Workout

The entire saga can be found by searching gothamist for “Stuart Sugarman.” I didn’t include a second link to the search results page because more than one link in a comment flags it as spam, I think.

As for your own quandary, maybe you can keep people, especially annoying ones, away from you by wearing a totally silly workoutfit?

SB: You assume that I am not already in an ill-fitting, bright pink leotard with blue shiny tights, neon green legwarmers, LA Gear hightops and a looped terrycloth headband. HALL AND OATES RULE!!!

8 01 2009

Damn. I must not have formatted the link properly.

Take two.

SB: errr.

8 01 2009

Double drat!

Third time’s the charm?

SB: SUCCESS! I will share my fruit loops.

8 01 2009

ooh, sounds like a good, sweaty time. ew.

SB: If you ever want to make the 10-hour trip, I still have my bring-a-friend membership….

12 01 2009

Hahaha…I quit going to the gym and use the equipment in my basement…yeah right…

My treadmill and elliptical are lonely…very lonely
Oh by the way, the noobs will be gone shortly!

SB: That’s the way it goes isn’t it? I feel guilty shelling out the money for the gym and not going, so that’s like motivation. Oh, and the fact that I can button up my pants- big part.

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