The “alarm” button and “emergency call box” ARE USELESS

31 12 2008

My job requires me to get the mail.
No big.
Take the elevator (or stairs on a non-heel day) down.
Get mail.
Take elevator up (the “security team” locked the door the other way.)

Today:
Take the elevator down.
Get mail.
Step into elevator.
Notice “2” is lit.
Figure someone wanted to walk.
Press appropriate floor.
Go up to 2.
Doors buzz like they’re opening.
Doors don’t open.
Feel shift in gravity.
Status light says 5.
Alarm buzzes, door doesn’t open.
Button 7 becomes lit.
Buzzing stops.
Feel shift in gravity.
Feel shift in gravity.
Buzzing starts.
Buzzing continues.
Buzzing continues.
Feel shift in gravity.
(This continues for what I figure was five minutes)
I press the “Emergency Call” button in the emergency phone box.
The box screams, “There is an elevator emergency in the building.  There is an elevator emergency.”
The buzzing continues, doesn’t stop.
The gravity shifts.
I start yelling.
Gravity shift.
“HELLLOOOOO!!!!”
Whenever the gravity stops, I lay on that “Alarm” button (for the curious, it’s a bell.  like, “ring ring ring”)
“HELLO!”
“ANYONE?!”
“I’D LIKE TO GET OUT NOW.  PLEASE.”
shift.
ring.
ring.
Shift.
The doors are resistant to my pulling.
The doors are impervious to my pounding.
(ten minutes pass)
ring.
“HELLLO!!!”
A voice answers back.  “What floor are you on?”
“I don’t know!  Numbers five and two are lit and I think I’m going up.  Little help please.”
shift.
Shift.
(the buzzing is still going on)
(I’m still ringing the bell)

Finally, the car stops.
The doors open.
Second floor.

I stomp down to the first floor where the security desk is and exclaim, “I HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN CAR 4 FOR THE PAST 15-20 MINUTES and no one CAME TO HELP ME!”
The maintenance guy is like, “Did you use the call box.”
“YES, I USED THE CALL BOX AND THE BELL AND SHOUTING AND POUNDING!”
“We didn’t know where you were.”
“YOU RUN THE ELEVATORS AND YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS?!?!  UNLOCK THE DOOR.  I’M TAKING THE STAIRS.”

(worth noting: extended, disorientating elevator rides produce nausea, ear aches and a SEVERELY pissed off Stephanie.)


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7 responses

31 12 2008
morethananelectrician

Maybe they should test those things.

Wouldn’t it have been cool if you shot out throught the top like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

You could have looked over the city in all of its’ glory.

In the movie, they never landed.

Hmmm?

SB Sez: After the first five minutes, I was thinking about the safety features of elevators. Was I just s-l-o-w-l-y sliding down? And how high could they go? Was I at the bottom? The top? And WHERE THE HELL IS THE MAINTAINANCE MAN?

31 12 2008
Connie

The family and I were on an elevator that stopped and then dropped…by dropping I mean it clunked, clanged and sounded like we were heading for disaster…we were terrified…when we finally got off the damn thing…the receptionist was laughing and saying that the elevator did that all the time. We all hate elevators now!!!

SB Sez: Oh. Yeah. That IS hilarious. Jerks.

31 12 2008
Connie

P.S. Glad you are okay despite the trauma!!!

1 01 2009
curlywurlygurly

you MUST get the video feed from security and put it up on youtube! i would pay to see you losing your shit!!!!

SB Sez: That’s what pissed me off even more… I thought there were cameras on the cars. I don’t freak out too much anymore, but I felt validated.

1 01 2009
Connie

CWG: You are a sick woman…that is why I adore you!!!
Is it possible to get the video feed and put it on youtube? I bet you would get a bunch hits on that post!!!!!

6 01 2009
thedailydish

OH MY GOOOODNESSSSS.

Even reading this story, I feel panic stricken.

Being trapped in an elevator is one of my biggest fears in life. I will not take an elevator EVER unless I have absolutely no choice.

Seriously. NOT FUNNY. You poor thing.

SB: Given the opportunity, I’ve been taking the stairs. Still scarred.

8 01 2009
thedailydish

You poor thing. *cyber hugs*

SB: Over a week later and I still check to see if anyone is leaving the stairwell so I can take the stairs.

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