Stephanie and the D.O.H.

29 12 2008

Following the break is the conversation I had with the D.O.H. (Department of Health) regarding ‘lissa & my Worst Resturant Experience Ever.

Mind you, there’s a bit of TMI in here and unless you harvest on a commune, this could happen to you.
We were playing the “if we pretend not to see it, it didn’t happen” game.

Jump Jump
“Hello, Erie County Department of Health.”
“Yes, Um, so is this the correct number to report a restaurant?”
“Sure is.”
“Okay, good, so what information do you need from me?”
“Well, let’s start with the name and address of the restaurant.”
“Lafayette Tap Room and I don’t have the address.”
“Okay, and when where you there?”
“Saturday before the Sabres game.”
“And what did you have to eat?”
“Well, Banana Peppers and..”
“Is that what made you sick?”
“Not that so much as the rodent.”
“Rodent?  Was it a rat or a mouse?”
“Don’t really know what the difference is.”
“Well, a mouse would have been small…”
“Rat.  I’ll go with rat.”
“Okay and was it by itself or with a family?”
“Alone.  Peeked out from the bar for a moment then went back behind the bar.”
“Was the bartender there?”
“And I assume you told someone after you saw it?”
“Um.  No.”
“Well, um, I didn’t really know WHAT to do… so um… I mean, the food was good and we’re not sick…”
“So, except for the rat cruising around the bar…”
“Okay, I’ll lodge your complaint today.”

I am aware that a number of readers are probably all “EEKKK A RAT!?!” But you’re kidding yourself if you think that wherever YOU eat is 100% varmint free.




5 responses

29 12 2008

You can’t fool me. You were just annoyed because the rat was wearing an Islanders jersey.

SB Sez: Hmmm, come to think of it, it did seem a bit tall. That does explain Hillary Duff…

29 12 2008

i enjoy dining with rodents…especially in disney world. in fact, i pay extra for the pleasure.

SB Sez: I should have gotten a souvenir photo.

29 12 2008

I have done a lot of work in places and nothing is surprising. Where there is food, there are rodents and bugs.

It is like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, “…I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way.”

SB Sez: “If I don’t see it, it’s not there.” Plus, ‘lissa and I used to work at a place where we got in printers from a national seafood chain and, well, I won’t eat in the south.

29 12 2008
Melissa the most awesome person you know oh yeah that's right

Well, I ate the leftover pepper for lunch today and haven’t died yet. So I guess the rodent didn’t poop in our peppers. Or, if it did, the poop wasn’t carrying a disease.

SB Sez: True… nor have we swollen up from THE PLAUGUE

29 12 2008

I’ve been advised by impeccably unimpeachable sources that it’s gauche and ignorant to refer to hockey players’ shirts (tops, blouses) as “jerseys.” The proper term is “sweaters.”

I sit & type corrected.

SB Sez: I do not refer to them as “sweaters” unless we’re watching video of Maurice Richard. Then it is a sweater.

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