Soul Breaking

12 12 2008

“Every time the past’s awakened, every time your soul starts breaking…” (excerpt from “Soulbreaking” by Tea Party)

MTE bared his soul this week and has insired a number of other people to as well.  I figure I’d join the fray because, well, it’s cheaper than a shrink.

I’ll go ahead and put a break in here so those of you who do not want to read such, um, intimate details (not that it’ll be all “and then he gently lay her down on the hay…”) don’t have to.  Don’t know how this works in readers and whatnot, but you can stop here.

I met him when he was skateboarding at the end of my street.
There was a parking lot there for the library (of which I still owe $35 in late fees to) and it was one of the better lots for skating on.
A few days later, he came into the “grocery” store where I worked and we started flirting.
Being all of seventeen at the time, I was flattered that someone older (he was twenty) was interested in me. Plus, he had a car.  And just moved back from California.  Or so he claimed.
The important part was that he was a rebel.  Tattoos, a skateboard, long hair, baggy pants, facial hair…
Yeah, mom and dad were REAL proud when I started bringing him around.
One thing lead to another and we ended up dating and I ended up being envied by underclassmen who longed for boys with cars.
Some days, he’d pick me up from school and woo-hoo, I thought I was hot shit.
My friends were starting to get more, um, serious, with their boyfriends and well, I never really saw sex as a big deal.
I had no doubt that I did not love sk8r.  Hell, I was more excited about the attention from my friends for dating an older guy.
And here’s where it gets romantic.
Finally, on Easter, I decided that I wanted to find out what all the hub-bub was about.  What is it about sex that makes people crazy? I wanted to find out.
Seeing as he was older than me, before things got underway, he made me consent.  Because that keeps the mood going. I’m surprised he didn’t make me sign a waiver.
It was unremarkable.  As in, I have no remarks for it.  Not as in “and then my head exploded”.  Thinking I missed out on something, I asked what just happened (which I’m sure was an ego blow).
“What do you think baby?”  And he lit a cigarette.

He would dump me before prom (leaving me to pay his half of the limo and be out the cost of the ticket).
I went to San Francisco that summer and when I returned, I found out he was with a sixteen-year-old named “Midnight” and they had an apartment.
sk8r turned into a FAT truck driver.

Do I regret the whole thing?
Yes and no.
Yes, I probably should have waited for someone who was less of a weasel.
No, because I got it out of the way and was able to move onto better things.
Yes, because he turned into SUCH a sleezeball and well, I was hoping he’d look better so I could brag.
No, because it was one less thing to worry about.




4 responses

12 12 2008

“…what just happened?”

Yup…let me apologize for my gender.

SB Sez: well, at least things got better after that…

12 12 2008

I guess everyone must have a sleazeball or two lurking in Hopefully the PAST!!! Those things which do not kill us make us stronger…sometimes I just shake my head (as in get out, get out) when I think of those teenage years!
At least we learn…

SB Sez: Oh, I totally agree with the headshaking… how my parents did no leave me out in the middle of nowhere, I don’t know.

12 12 2008
Taoist Biker

Hell, I WAS the long-haired dude my girlfriends’ parents hated. No tattoos, no facial hair (despite efforts), and ultimately no sex either!

Maybe it’s the facial hair.

SB Sez: or the tattoos… gosh, come to think of it, I can’t really pinpoint which feature pissed my parents off the most.

12 12 2008
Taoist Biker

It wasn’t the “which part pissed off the parents” that I was wondering about. 😉

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