“Underfunded Zoo” Animal Crackers

12 11 2008
Poor Kali, trapped like one of those lions on a box of animal crackers.
Kali, Happy as Ever

Ever since seeing ADORABLE animal crackers on “101cookbooks”, I’ve had a hankering to make them.
I found another recipe seeing as I wasn’t feeling the almond meal, coconut products or cane sugar.
After some tweeking, I was ready to make animals!

"Animal crackers in my oven..."

"animal crackers in my oven..."

And well, in typical StephanieFashion, they looked a little more like a field of mangled zoo animal corpses.


"Oh god! Please! Help us!!!:

And, well, the good people at Wilton decided that an Ark would make cute cookies and while they were right…


animal blobs

However they may look, Bailey was more then willing to run QC.


wazzat Beans?


such a good employee

Underfunded Zoo Crackers
2 cups sugar
2 cups oats (I used instant)
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup buttermilk (and a little more)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups flour (I used whole wheat)

to do:
* Mix sugar, oats and soda until blended.
* Slowly add shortening, mixing until crumbly
* Slowly add buttermilk and vanilla
* Slowly add flour until lumpy
* Add a bit more buttermilk until a thick/firm dough is formed
* Lightly coat a cutting surface and rolling pin with flour
* Roll some dough out and cut shapes
* Transfer cut-outs to a WELL GREASED baking sheet.  Seriously, these things will stick like dog snot on window if you don’t properly lubricate.
* Bake at 350 for 8-15 minutes.  They’re done when they are brown and a firm to the touch.
* Transfer to a rack for cooling.



9 responses

13 11 2008

Cyberyummy 🙂 I must inform Teddy the Ninja Cat 🙂

SB Sez: He will be most pleased with this offering.

13 11 2008

Post Script: Does http://360.yahoo.com/kimmiescookingblog interest you by any chance? 🙂

13 11 2008

i’m sorry, pal…but those cookies look pretty sorry. are they for pets or people? how did they taste? i’m not even going to try to make them.

ps. dog snot on a window? lol..but EWWW.

SB Sez: Oh, they’re for people. But Beezees is people, so she got some too. I’m thinking that the cutters were maybe a bit too small, thus the indeterminableness. They actually taste REALLY GOOD. Even The Mister (who basically looks at anything that comes from our oven like it will eat his face) said they were good.

13 11 2008
Melissa the most awesome person you know oh yeah that's right

And I get to sample today, yes?

SB Sez: I have an entire platter of blobs. You can has crackers.

14 11 2008

Oooh, TASTY! AND you’ll probably LOVE my animal crackers Bouncy babe:

And here they ARE.

SB Sez: LOlz!!1! THAT is classic. hee hee.

14 11 2008

It’s a shame how they get so overshaped once cooked. I wonder if you were really anal about it if you could recut them while the cookie dough was still hot and pliable from the oven.

(here from That’s What She Wrote btw)!

SB Sez: Meh, they all end up looking the same way later…If we had kiddos I would have taken more time. Nothing says “scarred childhood” like maimed animals.

21 11 2008
Mr. Bill

MMMMmmmm… Takes me back to the day of “Stephanie’s Sugar Bear Cake” and various other baking experiences.

SB Sez: in my defense, this was a recipe and they tasted really good. Even Steve thought so. And I know when he’s lying.

30 10 2009
The Great Pumpkin Sacrifice of 2009 « please, stop bouncing

[…] back to pumpkins. By now, we’re well acquainted my my sheer lack of artistic talent (see “animal crackers” and “gingerbread bears“)… So before taking a knife to the […]

2 11 2009

Definitely mangled animal corpses

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