Fashion Victim Acts as Fashion Police

20 10 2008

I never claim to know what I’m doing when I get dressed.
This is probably the reason why I own so many solid/primary colored pieces.
However, I do know what not to wear.

Following is a piece-by-piece description of the woman next to me at the registers (I NEEDED sinus medici)
* Ill-fitting medium gray hoodie, zipped.
* Ill-fitting Capri/bermuda “pants”.  Said “pants” would be considered “sleepy pants” in the Mak Casa.  They were pink, with cartoon cats.  These pants left nothing to the imagination, except maybe how she got into them.
* Striped underpants.  How do I know?  Because they showed through the bottom of her “pants”.
* Black knee-high socks.
* Red flat loafers.

To go out?
I don’t care if it’s to the store… When I made The Appendix Run, I at least wore jeans and a pullover hoodie.
Except for the gym and camping, I can say that I’ve NEVER worn sweatpants/sleepy pants outside of my home.

I mean, I guess if you were really ill and could barely face the world, sweatpants would be acceptable.
However, KittyPants purchased a bottle of water.  WITH FOOD STAMPS.

I’m thinking she was just lazy.

As for me, waiting for medici to take effect and I think the only true remedy for my malady will be mac-n-cheese and Clueless.




7 responses

20 10 2008

I love that you make mental notes of what people are wearing…I do that too. I will make sure to blog about the next crazy person I see.

SB Sez: I thought all the people you see were crazy… I mean, a mastodon, really?

20 10 2008

And seriously? Her freakin’ underpants were showing. Ew.

SB Sez: “showing” is the closest adjective I could think of… the “pants” were so tight that you could see her underpants through them. If I wear light colored pants, I certainly do NOT wear my loudest pair of underoos.

20 10 2008

Well, you can’t make citizen’s fashion arrests, but I suppose it wouldn’t be too difficult to pre-print some Citizen’s Fashion Citation Forms, keep them in your bag and complete them when you see someone in gross violation of the aesthetic code.

Power to the people, ya-huh.

SB Sez: That’s a good idea, but I’m pretty sure she would have tried to eat me. I can see the form now though… “Dear Citizen, we’ve noticed that you have []mismatched brown/black/blue shoes []VPL []Clothing worn thin at the butt []Muffin Top [x]Pants that you wore to bed and not in the walk-of-shame sense []1980’s stone-washed denim jacket []Those stupid mesh shoes that just cover your toes []a nip slip. Please cease and desist as people around you are becoming violently ill.”

20 10 2008

Sounds like me… apart from the showing my undies bit… I’d never do that.
The fashion ploice are here daily… I’m clueless. Thankfully I’m too old to care too much. (Although I am concerned about the length of my hair) I have pride just no idea what to wear. :o) Helpppppp!

SB Sez: There is a marked difference between a “track suit” (er, um, “warm ups” um, er those cute matched hoodies and pants) and pants that are designed for sleep. I too own pants with cats on them (and another with cartoon dogs and another with cartoon paisley owls and another with cartoon snowflakes…) and they see the light of day when I jaunt to the mailbox. I know if I start wearing sweats out, I will never fit into a pair of jeans again as the comfort of elastic and I would make wonderful bedfellows.

20 10 2008

haha I think I agree! I’d eat without feeling the strain against my jeans.
Paisly owls? They sound great.

20 10 2008

oh and I’ve tagged you. :o)

21 10 2008

I thought of you this morning! I was in line at 7-11 and some girl in front of me was wearing tight white pants (second skin, more like) anyway – I could see that her underpants and huge black words across the butt. It was really hard to miss. I couldn’t tell what it said because of the pockets and I didn’t want anyone to see me staring at her butt either.

SB Sez: ew. ew. ewewewewew. And what adds insult to injury, dimply butt. At least I keep mine hidden.

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