Another Open Letter: Dear Fellow Gym Members (PT. 2)(or is it 3 now?)

13 09 2008

Dear Fellow Gym Members:
To whom it may concern and I’m talking to those of you who use the ENTIRE cardio machine for support.
You have the treadmill at at 90% incline, but you’re using the whole command center as a tether.
Really? You think you’re getting a workout?  How about this… why don’t you try a 20% incline, use the provided grips and don’t tear the face off the control panel.
You almost seem surprised that some of the cardio equipment is broken… I don’t get it.

Dear Fellow Gym Members:
While on the cardio equipment, please do not glare at me if I pant a bit while on the machine next to you.
Did you notice that I’m out of shape?
Of course you did, I saw you peek at my weight and skill level.
What you don’t know is that I will punch you in the face from my ArcTrainer.

Dear Loud Talking (cell phone or otherwise) Fellow Gym Members:
Apple made the iPod to only go so loud.  If I am listening to Slipknot and my Pod’s at max level and I can still hear your conversation about how you had a salad for lunch everyday this week, you have more of a problem then breaking a sweat.

Dear Gross Sweaty Fellow Gym Members:
Two things.
One: If you’re sweaty, that’s cool, but please, for the love of god, wipe down WHATEVER it is that you’re using.
Two: I sweat.  Don’t act like you don’t.  And stop looking away like “Ew, I can’t believe that woman is sweating.”  I’ll come over by you and do my post-workout stretching near you, making sure to exhale over my armpit in your general direction.

Thank You.




3 responses

14 09 2008

Too funny!
Sweaty stuff! Ewwww! I feel your pain.
oh and I’m allergic to gyms.. thank the lord!

SB sez: allergic eh? I’ll have to try that one next time I don’t want to go workout. Thanks!

14 09 2008

you sweat? eww. lol.

SB sez: I am sweating right now.

14 09 2008

Sweating right now???

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