Thoughts About the VMAs, Before Bed…

7 09 2008

* Steve: Do you think that Taylor Swift is related to Stephanie Swift?
(Note: Stephanie Swift is an asian porn actress)

* WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?  What is a Paramore?  What’s a “cast of Twilight”?

* Realization- Jonas Brothers:NKOTB (back in the day, natch)

* Who hasn’t made fun of GWBjr?  Oh, that wrinkly old dude… he probably hasn’t.


* Why isn’t that “Million Dollar Man”, whoever he is, actually wearing pants?  What’s the point?  For serious.

* Where the VMAs always this freaking annoying?  Oh.  God.  It’s because I’m “old” right?  That Miley Cyrus, um, kid/tween/dressing-way-to-old-for-however-old-she-is, would totally put me in a home.  A third-rate home.

I’m going to watch Scary Movie 4.



4 responses

8 09 2008

ahh….middle age is setting in. hahahah. kidding. i’ll try to help you, as i spend my days with teenagers and speak VMA.

twilight is part of a teen book series by stephanie meyer that is actually pretty good! a movie was made of the first novel and will debut in november.

as for the other stuff…well, i guess we’re just not hip anymore.

ps. i got to go to the VMAs in 1995 at radio city. 😀 it was pretty cool.

SB sez: I’m glad someone is here to interpret! Music suffered innumerable losses, resulting in its eventual death in 1999; so you were lucky.

8 09 2008

Bart and I were absolutely revolted…we watched about 20 minutes of what was probably the middle of the broadcast and then turned it off.

Here’s our notables:

Bart – is this getting lamer and lamer every year, or are we just getting smarter and smarter and finally see the lame?

Bart – don’t any of these kids worry about what those tight girl pants might be doing to their goodies? Don’t they worry that people might wonder how small it had to be to actually fit in those pants?

WHO the fuck is Russell Brand, anyway?

SB sez: Ah, Russell Brand… I know I’m not the only one who noticed that “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” comes out on DVD soon! R.B. “plays” the “annoying” boyfriend (or something) in the movie and I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason he got the gig. I thought the promos were funnier than his performance. I’m going to support Bart in his claim that we’re noticing the lame; the same reason we don’t do stadium shows anymore.

8 09 2008

Oh my gosh! I suffered through the entire thing. I hated every minute but I could not stop watching. It was horrible. 😦

I too felt old. I seriously only watched it because i thought Britney Spears was supposed to perform when she opened the show. Not just say Welcome. I wanted to see if it was going to be as disastrous as the last time she was there. The host was ridiculously annoying.

Off to middle age we go……..

SB sez: Okay, so we all agree that it’s lame because we’re getting older right? I mean, really, all of the “music” last night was nothing compared to say… Color-me-Badd… right?

8 09 2008

I have to agree, I was soooo disappointed this year and here’s why…
Ok, so is it just me or was that the weirdest VMA’s history? First off, who was the host? Russell Brand? He may be super famous in the UK but cmon, no one even introduced him to the us. And then there was Britany, ok so your back but GOODNESS! She was practically stalked on her way to the opening stage, then we see the complete backstage production as we follow her in. They rush her on the stage and the world is supposed to give her a standing ovation?….Well, I don’t know about the rest of the world but have you seen Brittany this last year? She has been a terrible mess! I mean I grew to love Brit over the years as I followed her through my TRL days, but her last 12 (months that is) have been an exhausting eacaspade of mishaps and bloopers. Didn’t she practically go crazy?

Look, Im not here to judge, BUT I am here to be a part of the viewing audience and I do have the right to commentate. Ok, so back to the show, we get back to the over amped, super fried looking host, and he brutally assaults the Republican party as he tyraids about the US’s miserable 8 years in office. Now don’t get me wrong, everything he said was dead on, but guy. This is NOT your country. Go back to your country and talk about your own leaders. Wow.. All the while MTV is bringing out hosts that fumble over words, come to introduce presenters (without a mic) and ultimately just show how ill prepared this years ceremony truly was.

So we know for sure now, the pubescent looking Jonas Brothers are the new age, tro sized, Beetles. And Rhianna and Chris, Im sorry but you’re so exposed! It was cute trying to downplay your relationship (so Jay-Z and Beyonce) but you are officially this year’s IT couple. Michael Phelps had has the world’s biggest ears ever but congrats man, you’re such an Olympic legend. I truly think Lil Wayne’s pants get smaller every performance. I mean why do we have to all be subjected to his panty lines, boxers bulged, and bird chest..all at once? I know he’s our black rock star but pull it together. Can you say stylist? It’s definitely in the budget these days Weezy.

The Host continued to kill me, as he yelled, stated and restated the obvious, and just frequently annoyed me. Lindsey looked sober, ( a first) Ciara looked nervous (aww Cee Cee) and the best dance crews looked like 12 year old school girls as they ran across the room. Oh, they are kids aren’t they? Anyway, the show felt like a complete home production and sounded just as bad at a lot of moments. And MTV, why? Tell me why the audience was practically 20 feet from the stage of the presentations and performers? I think it had to be the first time ever that the front stairs that award winners walk up was the same stage they leave off of. MTV, worst set up I’ve ever seen. Cmon, you guys need me. Whoever did you floor setup this year failed miserably and I should finally be able to get in there and get that internship I’ve been trying to get lol!

Pink looked hot, got some more junk in the trunk these days huh?…Kudos Mr. Hart =). Ashlee Simpson looked plush. I mean not fat but truly, plush. I didn’t know she was sooo preggers. Although her husband, whom she shared the stage with, looked like her little munchkin, it was cute. Okay, so I’ll give MTV their first big pat on the back…using the cast of Superbad. Whoever came up wth that was dead on. Um, T.I. definitely wants a big acting role, did you catch his live audition? Good job man, I’s sure the scripts will be in the mail by the time you get home. Hollywood does seem desperate these days… Can I say Rhianna again. The girl is bad. Bad meaning good that is. Forehead or whatever they say, the chic is amazing! She duo’d with T.I. and did it with such finesse. Maybe the nights best performance. Their back drop was so creative and their performance moved the whole venue out their seats. Something only the Jonas Brothers had done thus far.

Then there was the branded marketing ploy named the VMA’s. If you’re wondering what I’m talking about your probably never took a college marketing class or are keen to how the media uses products in commercials, schemed up contest, and anything else they can get their hands on to brand the VMA’s. They get to you to pay for VMA contests, VMA ringtones for your cell, and a photo correspondent convienantly linked to some new camera and a heavy traffic website,most likely bombarded with adds from every company ever tied to MTV… PLEASE BUY MY PRODUCT WORLD!!! I just get so tired of companies thinking their marketing and advertising teams are brighter than I and that I don’t realize I am being exposed to over 500 new products and services everytime the television is turned on!!! Stop with the insults thank you.

And what was up with the timing thing MTV? You don’t have to tell me before every commercial that so and so will be performing in approximately 5.2 minutes. Once again just annoying. I know we are an impatient generation but really think about this… If someone is not paying your show enough attention that you have to give them the exact time for them to be able to pick and choose whatever acts or special guest they want by the minute…hmmmm… you’ve probably lost them already due to a poorly put together show.

The Christina remix was cool. A sexier version of Genie in the Bottle? I didn’t know that was possible. Only Ms. Aguilera could do that, great New Age performance though. And Oh my, could our beloved host please stop bashing the Jonas Brothers! Their virgins, move on! Everything about this years show just seemed so corny.I can’t pinpoint what that overall should be contributed to but it just did. We’ve got our kick ass country cowboy KidRock. Okay, I’ll admit it, I just love him. He could care less what anyone thinks of him (which is so obvious with his wardrobe choice lol) and then he brings out Lil Wayne. Wow. The guy is so creative, and with he and Weezy’s juices flowin at the same time, it was cool to see. The pants were still small Wayne, and unfortunately they were red this time.. Ahhh…Nevermind. Kanye ended the show with some crazy solo performance of some weird song that I just didn’t I understand. But hey, the guy had the nerve to say Bush doesn’t care about black people on national television so, Imma let that slide!

Okay so the conclusion, I never want to see Russell Brand host another show, The Jonas Brothers rule the world, Lil Wayne has made a safe cross over to white America, Rhianna is too Hot, and as bad of a year as Britany had, she obviously has enough money to pay MTV for all the plugs to get her career back!

SB Sez: uh, wow, so, yeah… welcome aboard? And good point about Brit-Brit… I mean, hell, I got treatment for the voices in my head and no one gave me a trophy. Though I did get one for “Best Sportsman” at day camp, despite the fact that I CAN’T PLAY SPORTS. ohhhhh, I see what happened there.

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