Monster Trucks = Compensation

11 08 2008

My wordpress partner-in-crime CurlyWurlyGurly posted this morning about those obnoxious ball-sacs that some people feel it’s necessary to hang from their hitches.
Not only are they nasty/gross, but how do you explain that to a kid in the car following such obscenity?  (And please, spare me the dirty butterfly joke)

On an unrelated-related thread, I would like to delve once again into the “Memories of Sheer Joy…/sarcasm”

I met this guy and he wasn’t very bright upstairs, but he was cute.  (and I’m shallow)
During one of our early conversations, he mentioned to me that he has (inhale) a Monster Truck.  I’m thinking like a toy R/C truck.  He meant an actual truck.  An actual truck with tires bigger then me, those weird rooftop spotlights galore, and teal rollbars.
I assure you dear reader, I am so not kidding.
After a date, I decided that I would not be able to feed him to Zombies in self-defense and being dumber then a box of used hammers, there wasn’t much to go on.
“So”, I ask him. “Do you have that awful truck to compensate?”
He looks at me like I spoke sanscript.  “Huh?”
“Seriously, do you have that truck to, you know, compensate.”
“Compensate for what?”
At this point, I was so over the whole affair.  “You know, some guys feel the need to drive large trucks to compensate for having small dicks.  Do you have a small dick and that’s why you have that truck?”
Bewildered, “Uh, what?  NO!”

Kicker: He invited me out for another date.  I made up for it by puking all over the side of his mom’s Jeep.  And no, I do not know if he was compensating.




5 responses

11 08 2008

WHAT? Do you think those little midsized trucks are brought to the garage door by a stork?

BTW Don’t get too close when you’re following my wife’s suv.

11 08 2008

And to add…

For the R/C buffs like myself

Well, that’s um, charming.

11 08 2008
that girl

Found you via CWG’s blog…. Hilarious! A friend of the family had one of these trucks and I never understood it, but this was way back in the 80s and nothing ever really made sense back then anyway. 😀

And I dated that guy in the late 90’s. Welcome aboard!

11 08 2008

I think that those are absolutely disgusting, we had a dad at our school that had those on his truck. The principal told him that if he wanted to volunteer there he had to remove them because kids were starting to ask questions…Ha ha ha!

“So, you want to volunteer, but you have nuts hanging from your hitch? uh, no.”

11 08 2008

i think monster trucks are soooo sexy. those giant, nubby tires, using a step stool to climb aboard, bouncing all over town–does it get ANY better? i think not.

It depends, do you have a mullet and a Members Only jacket?

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