And now, at 1:15am, Stephanie Presents: How (not to) Pick up a Guy.
male: you’re not going to play shit [on the jukebox]
female: Uh, no.
m: You like country?
f: hell no.
m: you like country rock?
f: no. N-O, no.
m: You like Toby Keith?
f: Did you just eat onions?
m, offended: no.
f: really? because you smell like onions.
m: They’re cooking onions in the kitchen.
f: Hm. because when you talk, you smell like onions.
m: So, you like Stevie Ray Vaughn?
f: I have to go over here now.
(female retreats to flock of men, which contain her husband and onion rings)
f: hey husband, your wife just got hit on at the jukebox.
f, to other male: are those onion rings?!
Other Male: Yeah, help yourself.
f: ( rehashes jukebox scenario)
OM: Wow, you’re a bitch!
f: I know, right?! *nom nom*
(In case you couldn’t tell, I’m the female…)