How (not to) Pick up a Guy

19 06 2008

And now, at 1:15am, Stephanie Presents: How (not to) Pick up a Guy.

male: you’re not going to play shit [on the jukebox]
female: Uh, no.
m: You like country?
f: hell no.
m: you like country rock?
f: no.  N-O, no.
m: You like Toby Keith?
f: Did you just eat onions?
m, offended: no.
f: really?  because you smell like onions.
m: They’re cooking onions in the kitchen.
f: Hm.  because when you talk, you smell like onions.
m: So, you like Stevie Ray Vaughn?
f: I have to go over here now.

(female retreats to flock of men, which contain her husband and onion rings)

f: hey husband, your wife just got hit on at the jukebox.
husband: cool.
f, to other male: are those onion rings?!
Other Male: Yeah, help yourself.
f: ( rehashes jukebox scenario)
OM: Wow, you’re a bitch!
f: I know, right?!  *nom nom*

(In case you couldn’t tell, I’m the female…)

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2 responses

19 06 2008
Heather

You are hilarious!

19 06 2008
Matt

I don’t know…that onion thing would have totally worked on me. So, do you like Seether?

Stephanie Says: *sniff sniff* What stinks? besides Seether, natch.

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