Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

16 04 2008

It’s been an oft toted idea that if you have something that you need to do and don’t want to do it, it’s best to offer up a reward for when you’re done.

It’s spring and after watching way too much What Not to Wear, How Clean is Your House?, Design on a Dime, Tool Belt Diva, you get the idea, my purge instinct has kicked back into high gear.
For example: I seriously cleaned out my closet.  Usually this would just putting my clothes FOLDED back into their correct location and a slight purge of items for donation.  Oh no.  This time, I pulled E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G out and faced some harsh realities.
I am never going to wear any of the 15 oversized t-shirts to the gym.
The sweater that goes with the baggy shell (which was donated probably a year, easy, ago) will never be worn again and in fact has been in the closet since high school.  In fact, there is a year book picture from 1995 or 1996 where I am wearing said sweater with a candy necklace.
The Yankees jersey given to me by pre-Steve, embroidered with my (and every other girlfriends’) nickname hasn’t seen the light of day since 2001.  Did I mention that I don’t even LIKE baseball?  He liked baseball.
The “Stop by for a spell” Salem, MA shirt, in lipstick red, which was handed down to me from mom in the 80’s, while funny, hasn’t been worn in years.
The legions of work pants with bunny-eared pockets from when I was in SERIOUS denial about being in another pants size.  (“bunny-ears” is what happens to pockets when your hips bunch up them up, forcing them to turn themseves inside out and outside of the inside of your pants, making your crotch look like a bunny.)
The bag of bags/boxes that I planned to reuse for Holidays, only to find when I put the a batch of bags/boxes to be used the next holiday season.
I had two large bag of clothes and three grocery bags of garbage.
The ensuing conversation:
me: check it out, I cleaned my ENTIRE closet!  I have floor!
him: Did you do that so you could go shopping?
me: ye-noooooooo.

I am pining for a yellow sweater, of which one can wear a white dress shirt under, and a trenchcoat.  I have not made it out for either of these items.  However, JoAnn Etc. is having a pattern/fabric sale.
So last night, after cleaning up from dinner, I rewarded myself with a trip to the craft store.

I was like a kid at Christmas.
99 cent patterns!
1/2 off already reduced fabric!
Novelity prints on sale!
Candles, 50% off!
I twirlled around the store, basket in hand, singing delightful songs of how people will ask me where I got my shirt and I could put my thumbs into my armpits and proclaim, “I made this shirt!”  And how The GC (that would be Steve’s friends) would want to rub their faces against the bar-stool-seat-cushions, commenting how they’re so much cooler then anything we could have bought.  And how Bailey would adore laying on her cocktail-themed dog bed.

None of these projects will get off the ground until I get The Office/Sewing Area cleaned.  I figured by having most of the material and all of patterns on hand, I should be motivated to get the office clean, again, before the weather breaks and I just want to lay on the yard swing and sleep all day.

What are your spring projects?




7 responses

16 04 2008

You have just given me a mental picture of Ed pushing Nad off a bar stool so he can rub his face where Nad’s ass once was.
Oh, good times.

16 04 2008

True Story:
Steve and I went to Route 66 after a Tea Party show at Shea’s.
The bartender told us that we JUST missed the band and they were sitting right where we were.
I pushed Steve off his seat and said, in a very boisterous voice, I NEED YOUR STOOL and proceeded to rub my face on it.

16 04 2008

Why me? You think about me more than you should, Melissa. I promise, I am not that interesting.

And here’s a truse story: I got kicked in the head by Billy Idol during an Our Lady Peace concert (they were opening for Billy Idol). This story has nothing to do with bar stools or my face in Nads ass, but I wanted to share it so I could feel like I have something to contribute to your little society.

17 04 2008

Dear Ed,

Have I told you lately, that I love you? Have I told you, there’s no one else, above you?
Something something.
Something something.
la la la la la.

17 04 2008

Oh for the love of god, I said you because you’re the goofy one that I can picture doing that. I can picture you and Nad…I’m sorry, but I just don’t see Joe doing it.
Two times I mention you…two times in the months since I met you…and now I think about you too much?

17 04 2008

that sounded bitchier than intended. It was supposed to be funny.
I suck at life.

17 04 2008

do you want me to switch your commentary around so that it’s posted that you’re trying to be funny and then there’s your funny comment.

Don’t worry, I won’t pat you on the head to show my understanding.

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