How to Piss Me Off at Work: Part Two

8 04 2008

Ah, because I know some of you totally enjoy my whining.
Once again, the disclaimer: This may or may not be in the current office.

  • Send me an e-mail then walk over to my desk and ask me if I read the e-mail you just sent me.  You know what, why don’t you just walk over and tell me what you need to tell me instead of reading me the e-mail, from memory, while I read it to get you out of my space.
  • Ask me to do something and then come back in about ten seconds as ask me if I’ve done it yet.  Compound levels of anger: is it something you can do yourself?  Did you e-mail me to see if I’ve done it yet?  Bonus points: CC my boss.
  • Splatter your lunch all over the microwave and don’t clean it up.
  • Sleep at your desk
  • Yell at me for things that aren’t my fault/responsibility
  • Intimidate me
  • Rely on me to provide you with your lunch
  • Put things in my in-box  a)in the opposite direction box itself b) in the opposite direction of the last paperwork placed in the box c) with any kind of announcing noise (Including “here’s some more work for you! ha ha ha”) d) hanging off the side of the box.  There is ample room in my inbox and it will safely hold an entire phone book.
  • Comment on my lunch.  Regardless of what it is.  Lunch time is Stephanie time and I do not need you to tell me about my salad.  I pack my own lunch.  I know what salad is.  You don’t need to tell me.  Really.  If you’d like to know more about whatever it is I am eating, you may certainly ask, as long as you don’t start the conversation with a twisted face and “WHAT is THAT?” (answer: me ignoring you)
  • Assume that because something is in the fridge and not in a bag (or doesn’t have a name/initial scrawled on it) that is “community”.  If I see you using my hot sauce, I will ask you for money when I run out.  Unless you ask me first, then you’re more then welcome to have some.
  • Ask me something and when I tell you that I don’t know, look at me like I’m totally lying to you.
  • Complain about something and when a reasonable solution is offered, react like that’s the dumbest thing you have heard in your entire life.
  • Take credit for my idea(s)
  • Incorrect use of apostrophes.  Notice the lack of apostrophe in the previous fragment.  Apostrophes should be used in the possessive form or in the multiple possessive.  Not in words such as “number’s” (NUMBERS [ownership] WHAT?), “drawer’s” (DRAWERS [ownership] WHAT?) etc.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to eat my reduced salt cottage cheese (because too much salt makes me angry angrier) and crackers (because it drowns out the rest of the din).

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One response

9 04 2008
Angela Yoshiko

A very entertaining list of things that irritate you at work – probably not so entertaining while you’re there. Bottom line: people suck! I wonder if your coworkers know about your blog…that would be hilarious.

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