Realization

8 04 2008

I am especially cranky today.

So I’ve spent the last few hours trying to hone in on my I am feeling so incensed today.
Perhaps it was the turkey-cheese sausage last night (too much salt makes Stephanie bloat and produces agitation).
Perhaps it’s the I-AM-HERE-AND-NEED-THIS-FROM-YOU-RIGHT-NOW-SO-STOP-DOING-WHATEVER-YOU’RE-DOING-BECAUSE-I-AM-INHERENTLY-MORE-IMPORTANT-THEN-ANYTHING-ELSE attitude I’ve been dealt this morning.
Perhaps it’s the pent up agitation against people who create their own woes and then practically demand that you feel pity for them.  (note: that does not work on me and instead of feeling bad for you, I feel annoyed that you got yourself into this situation and you want me(being the anyone but you) to get you out of it instead of fixing it yourself.)
Perhaps it’s the “am I miserable because I listen to pop music?”  Although I am enjoying listening to the new wave XM channel.
Perhaps it was misleadingly thinking I already had my gym bag packed so I ran around like an idiot this morning trying to find pants and shirts that matched.
Perhaps it’s that impending feeling every time the phone rings that it will be The Call.  Who will it come from?  When will it come?  Will I be alone or will Steve be available to be subject to my wailing?  Will I have to drive home through tears?  What if I have to stay longer then I expected?

And then, while reviewing all the possibilities, it occurs to me.  I am ripe for a migraine.

Some people see flashes of light before an episode.  Some people hear noises, some lose their appetite.  I, on the other hand, will not regret saying how I really feel and will quite possibly start a fight, oh and I lose my appetite.  Whatever takes the attention away from the impending lightening storm of pain which will ravage me for two days.  Perhaps that’s why I’m typing rather then finishing my piles of paperwork.

I am very nervous right now because I am pretty sure I have one coming (ah, lightheadedness) and I have nothing to really do but sit and wait for it.  Perhaps waiting for the pain is a cause for agitation?

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One response

8 04 2008
Melissa

“Perhaps it’s the pent up agitation against people who create their own woes and then practically demand that you feel pity for them”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it, in a nutshell. Every day of my life, at least.

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