This is Why I am the Way I am: Today

17 03 2008

If you run into me today and I end up chewing your face off and leaving whats left of you around my desk as a warning to others, this may be the reason why:

11pm: Go to bed. This is about an hour later then usual.
11:15pm: Toss and turn.  Set TV timer for 75 minutes (I know, I know, but the noise helps me sleep.).
11:20pm: See if sleeping on my left side will produce better results then it did 10 minutes ago.
11:30pm: Roll back to the right to watch TV, hoping that seeing the same episode of Family Guy for the umpteenth time will bore me to sleep.
11:40pm: Pet Buffy with my foot.
11:45pm: Use the bathroom.
11:50pm: Try to coax Bailey to snuggle.  Receive a snore in response.
11:53pm: Snuggle up to an overheated Steve.  This usually puts me to sleep.
12:00am: Decide to try sleeping on my left side.  again.  (note: I need at least 10 hours to process Tylenol PM or else I do not function like I should.  You know, for those of you asking why I don’t just take something.)
12:05-ish: SLEEP.  FINALLY. Dream that two guys (one being a “little person” and one being a largelarge man) break into our house.  They are holding us hostage in the living room while they play Guitar Hero, which they brought along.   I try to call 911 and the “little person” pulls a large gun out of his trenchcoat (note to self: Watching “Dogma” before bed is not a good idea).  I put my cell on the kitchen table.  When I go to put the phone on the table, it occurs to me that I’m naked.  I’m more concerned with HOW I got to be naked rather then being naked.  Bailey’s running around, telling me she has to go out and I open the front door while flicking the porch light, hoping that any of the cops in the driveway will notice.  The “little person” noticed and opened fire.  After a while, I have to use the bathroom and the invaders let me use the upstairs bathroom alone.  I go into the front guest room, open the window and wave to get the cops’ attention.  By the way, I’m still naked.  I feel very afraid and helpless.
1:45am-ish: Wake up in a cold sweat, having to use the bathroom.  again.  (note: I had about 3 comically large glasses of water within a couple of hours.)
1:47am-ish: Come back to bed.  Steve’s stratching his back, I figure he’s up.  “I had a nightmare” I say.  He responses with a non-fake snore.
2:00am: Am afraid to fall back asleep.  Sometimes my dreams continue, and I don’t want this one to go on.
Sometime between 2am and 4:15am: Dream that I am with my friend Kate and some other girl.  We’re walking around the same town that’s in all of my dreams, and we decide that we’re hungry.  Meanwhile, I get a call from my [current] boss telling me that we’re missing “3 or 4 thousand” dollars, cash,  from the deposit.  I tell him I’ll look into it.  Some Other Girl takes off running.  Kate is at the resturant with our coats, waiting for our tabula (Note: What IS tabula?  Would I like it?).  I corner S.O.G. and she confesses that she stole the money to have an abortion.  I tell her I know. She tells me that she has M.P.D.  I tell her I know. She cries.  We make up and head back to the restuarant.  Our food is already in take-out boxes and Kate has settled the bill.  I go back to work and I have to help in the shop.  I think I was helping to make a basket (note: we don’t make baskets) and we didn’t have any clamps, so I’m stuck holding the reeds with all my appendages.  Shop guys are coming up and trying to talk to me, but I can’t help them due to holding the basket.   The dust collector clogs and employees have to crawl inside the tubing to break up the clog.  One of the employees got stuck and I had to go to the chimney sweep store to get something to get him out.
4:15am: Wake up in a cold sweat.
6:00am: Alarm goes off, coinsiding with an alarm in my dream.  “Snooze me”.  (he’s got the day off)
6:07am: Wake up and get in the shower.

Now, here’s what I don’t get.  I had PLENTY of mental stimulation and phyiscal activity yesterday.  I painted the front hallway, made cookies, grocery shopped, cleared/organized cabinets/drawers…
Maybe it’s due to the poor eating from the weekend.  Whatever it is, I need to fix it.  Poronto.  I feel like I’m going to faceplant on the keyboard and I’ve already had breakfast (blandbland puffed rice with blueberries) and coffe and a liter of water.




2 responses

18 03 2008


Tabula is latin for tablet, and is commonly used in the phrase “tabula rasa,” or blank slate. In philosophical terms, many argue that the human mind is, at birth, a tabula rasa and therefore unrestricted in potential. Thus, the concept of limitations are _learned_ and by that logic, if we never learn about our limitations we can never be limited in our abilities.


In conjunction with your dream, to have you and Kate waiting for your tabula (tablet), it may simply be a misused word substituting for tabbouleh (which for some reason I associate with vegetarians – i think it’s a bulgur wheat salad with weird herbs in it. i don’t care for it, personally).

Otherwise, you can take the latin and interpret your little heart out.

18 03 2008

Oh, I’m thinking I meant tabbouleh, but I no good at speling.

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