Voicing my Frustration OR Looking for Advice

13 02 2008

Why can’t I stick with this weight loss thing?
I physically feel better when I exercise and eat well, which in turn, makes me feel better emotionally.
And when I falter, I feel awful.  With my frame (which could be categorized as “small” as I am 5’2″on a good day) a gain as little as two to three pounds makes a difference.
Granted, I’m not all boo-hoo and woe-is-me.  I AM seventeen pounds lighter then I was last year.
HOWEVER, why has it taken me almost a year to lose not even twenty pounds?  Yes, I know that there is a science behind it (it is harder for people with less to lose, to lose).
Yes, I know that I have not been following The Plan like I should.  It’s like, it’s too easy to not eat on Plan.  Which I guess is what got me here in the first place.
I do cook and I do cook on Plan, making sure there’s enough to freeze/fridge for future lunches and dinners.  But it’s like, when it’s the weekend, I am full of excuses as to why I can’t cook or eat what I should.
Even though I have a full range of foods to eat, I can’t eat the same thing all the time.  I really don’t care too much for meat (be it beef, chicken or pork) and Steve doesn’t care for vegetables (his four food groups could be: Chicken wings, hot sauce, Chef Boyaredee and pop).
It’s like food is a bonding experience for me.  When we have “date night”, I feel like the food fosters conversation and nurtures our relationship.  Being able to share a meal with someone is important to me.
I know that exercising is another key factor.  And I have as many excuses for that and I don’t know why.  I actually enjoy working out (most of the time).  I like the way it makes me feel and look.  Perhaps that’s a bit self-centered.  So why don’t I work out more?  I guess because it’s easier to say “I’m tired” and let it go then do a half-assed workout.
But my frustration levels are high.
I’m trying to stick with this… I really am, but the lack of progress is derailing.
I know I should bother, because there have been so many improvements in my life since I started this journey.  I know I should stick with it because I CAN do it.
Just seems like when I have my weigh-in, I tell myself ,”This week I HAVE to make changes if I want to reach my goal.”  And I’ll stick with it for a few days and the voice in the back of my head says , “You know what sounds good?  Doritios.  And a pop.  Yeahhhhhh.”  And I’ll tell that voice to SHUT UP and be satisfied with some tasty tasty peaches. The next hour,  it’s back.  “You know what sounds good?  Cheese.  You should go to the fridge and eat some cheese right now.”  So I get up and have a glass of water.  A little while later, I’m pulling the wrapper back on a piece of cheese.   “Dude, you NEED Chex Mix.”  And the cycle continues.
Half of me says, “You crave (insert food here) for some reason and rather then eating around it, just eat a little of it.”  and the other half says, “You just want (insert food here) because you shouldn’t.”
It’s like, why bother paying for the support, et al, if I’m not going to follow the plan and take advantage of the tools?  It’s not like Steve is stuffing chips in my mouth.  He’s also (generally) not complaining about what I make for dinner.  I’m the one who has to do this and I’m the one who needs to make the changes.
I guess I’m just not really seeing the motivation that I did in the beginning, but I’m sure I will when I step on the scale tomorrow.
I need to break the cycle.

Help?

P.S.
I would like to say that I haven’t tried to change all my bad habits at once (another pitfall).  I can’t even stick to journaling for a week.  I do get in the water requirement though.

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