Rants and Raves

Here are some things that have irked me this week.
* (Our former) ChineseFoodPlace is slated to re-open.  The place is supposedly sanitized and someone has to go to a food safety course WITHIN SIX MONTHS and well, it’s a wonder I never got food poisoning; a quick web search showed the laundry list of violations.  [...]

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Another Open Letter: Dear Fellow Gym Members (PT. 2)(or is it 3 now?)

Dear Fellow Gym Members:
To whom it may concern and I’m talking to those of you who use the ENTIRE cardio machine for support.
Seriously?
You have the treadmill at at 90% incline, but you’re using the whole command center as a tether.
Really? You think you’re getting a workout?  How about this… why don’t you try a 20% [...]

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Gym Etiquette 101

Melissa and I are tearing things up on the treadmills when this older gentleman takes roost at the mill to my right.
Shortly thereafter, we notice a repugnant smell.
“Bed of roses” is not even close.
We try not to gag as we round out the second mile.
I look over my shoulder and the man is sweating like [...]

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Yes, I Got that Message too, Universe

After the migraine passed (read: nap), I headed out to get some things.
Back at the truck, I notice it’s eight and I’m arguing with myself about going to the gym.
The “go to the gym” voice won.
I’m going through the weights and I’m on the weird-elliptical-incline-thing, trying to figure out how I can avoid doing the [...]

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I OWN YOU!!!

As you may recall, the Cybex Arc Trainer and I had a bit of tussle a while ago.
(viewable naw in case you missed it)
Let me tell you what new-fangled-torture-device:  I am on to you.
I know your game and I’m gonna play it.  easy-medium-hard-easy-hard-medium-hard-easy-medium-hard-etc.
Yeah, were you surprised that I went a whole 27 minutes on level [...]

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Two Notes to Fellow Gym Patrons

Dear Woman Two Treadmills Over,
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TALK SO LOUD ON YOUR CELL PHONE?!?!
I had to turn my iPod up to drown you out, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES because you were trying to talk over the noise of your fit legs and feet stomping on the “superquiet” surface.
I understand that [...]

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Stupid Voice in my Head, Always being right…

Between machines, Mental Image Stephanie is cheering me on.
Who’s hot?
Who’s fierce?
Who’s kicking butt?
I sit down at a contraption I saw from the bicep curl (you would THINK that after the Arc Trainer, PERHAPS I would have known better…)
“Deltoid/Pec Fly”
And as I’m setting the machine up and finding out where my tolerance is, another voice chimes [...]

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My New Nemesis

I feel the need to tell you about my new nemesis at the gym.
Oh, sure, the hamstring curl machine and I don’t get along and once I get the strength to throw the overhead triceps machine out the window, I will.
However, last night I decided to try a new cardio machine that I had been [...]

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Two and Half Bits

Last week, somewhere in Ohio:
me: Can you get the info to scroll on XM?
him, producing a lot productive sounding beeps: There you go.
me: Cool.  Thanks.  What’d you do?
him, cocky: I’m not telling.
me, turning to a techno channel and turning the volume up: Oh, I think you will tell me.
him (no sooner do three “doop-doop-doop”s get [...]

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