Chocolate Fix

Some people (looking at you CWG) seem to think that I’ve gone completely joyless.
To prove you wrong, here are some happy things.

1) My changed lifestyle-contingency medication is “so far so good”.  Since Sunday, I have not had a headache so bad that I gave serious consideration to taking an ice pick to my temple; thus the reason for the change.

2) My friends and I went out to dinner at Melting Pot last night with $5 of each of our dinners going towards cancer research.  Plus, there were drinks.

3) Afterward, one of the girls and I went to Penny’s and I let her dress me up.  “I’m the Anthony Bourdain to your Stacy London!”, I exclaimed as we made our way toward the register.
My purchase?
Something I NEVER EVER EVER considered.

Not actually me, nor the actual vest (mine is grey with pin striping)

I purchased a vest.
“I feel like a project!”, I said.  “You ARE my project!”, she giggles.
And today, I have donned the vest.  Thought I don’t have a “real” photo as it’s hard to take photos of myself and I’m not going to any of my co-workers to ask them to take a photo because that sounds like a can of worms I don’t want to open.

4) With last weekend’s near-sub-zero temperatures, I thought I would give a science experiment a go.
In case you’re not familiar, when it gets to be booger-freezing cold out, bubbles are supposed to freeze.
I.E.

Seeing as we do not have any “real” bubbles in the house, I decided to concoct some.
(For the record, “catnip bubbles” suck)
Also remembering that it’s been years since I’ve done any bubbling and that it was like, 2 degrees out, I opted to practice before heading out.
Bailey was amused.

Soap is tasty!

waiting

so close!

vicious!

It is here somwhere...

look, I sparkle

(P.S. bubbles didn’t freeze but I did)

5) And this gem just came into my office.

Creature Comforts

Summer in this area is very humid.  Very humid.  Did I say it was humid?  Because it is.
Steve works in a manufacturing plant and I work in an office.
We’re driving to dinner and he comments that the neighbors have their AC on.  A little while later he mentions that I don’t have the AC on in the truck.
“It’s the beginning of summer.  Let’s enjoy the weather before it gets all stiflely and we can’t move around without sticking to everything.” I argue.
He looks at me and asks, “Where do you work all day?”
“You know where I work silly.”
“Is that air conditioned office nice to work in?”
“Ohhhhhhh.”
And I shut the sunroof and put on the AC.

I Only Play Stupid

We’re driving to a friends house for some Memorial Day antics.
him: so I found the [golf] driver I want.
me: I know.
him: Nooooooo, I told you about last years model and this years is out and it’s only $50 dollars more.
me: so you’re telling me that instead of spending $X, you want to spend ($x+$50).
him: Uh.  Yeah.  But I didn’t want to come right out and say it was ($x+50)
me: I choose when I’m bad at math but I don’t tell you when I’m good at math.
him: Oh.

So now we’re at the golf store.
me: why don’t you just drop me off at the mall (directly across the parking lot) and you call me when you’re ready because I don’t want to stand around while you test drive.
him, pouting: You don’t want to spend time with me?
me: Me standing around while you talk golf hardly constitutes spending time together.  If you’re going to go in, pick up the club and then leave, fine, I’ll hang out.

Forty-five minutes later, I’m still in the sporting goods store.
him: I’m in trouble aren’t I.
me: I am trying on SO MANY shoes at Kohl’s and I’m not going to buy any of them.  Oh, and by the way, how do I look today?
him, conceding: You look good.
me: *hair flip*

Probably the Best Conversation I’ll Have All Day

Chances are that the best convesations I have on a daily basis are between The Beans and me.
(The Beans=Bailey=The Dog, FYI)

This morning, I was “meh”-ey and she can tell.  She brought me my favorite toy (and yes, she does know some of her toys and provided she has not chosen the toy to play with, she will get you a specific toy if you ask her) and sat next to me while I dried my hair.

When it was time for her breakfast, she stands/sits next to her bowl and waits for me to let her eat.  People who watch her do this trick are amazed, as more often then not, Bailey marches to her own drummer.
A lot of people think it’s weird that I talk to my pets (and plants) and they always joke, “If they start answering you, it’s a problem…” but they don’t understand The Beans’ and my language.
I like to make her sit for breakfast and wag her tail to talk to me.  Sometimes we talk about logical things but it’s mostly nonsense (“Well B, I do not know where I am going to find a ball of twine that large, but I’ll try.  Will you take two smaller balls that would equal a large one? ” *wag* “OKay, but no promises.”  *head tilt, slight wag*)

So this morning, we’re talking while I prep The Crock-Pot Dinner of the Week.

“You’re so pretty!”
*wag*
“You are, you’re so very very pretty!”
*wagwagwagwag**trot over and give a quick kiss before the kitties get in her dish**trot back to dish*
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
*wagwag*
“I wish I was as pretty as Bailey.”
*wag*
“Am I as pretty as you are?”
*little tailtip waggle*
“Am I prettier then you?”
*WAGWAGWAGWAGWAGWAGWAGWAG*
“You always know what to say, don’t you.”
*smile**wagwag*   (yes, B does really smile.)
“Go ahead, have your breakfast.”
*nomnom nom nomnomnom nomnom nom*
“Love you.  You’re such a good girl!”
*wag*

I Didn’t RSVP to a Pity Party!

There are some people I just don’t like talking to.
It’s not that they’re bad people, it’s that everything they say is gloom and doom, even when it’s something that’s not all gloom and doom.  Ya dig?

I.E.
Employee #1: “Hey there co-worker, how was your weekend?”
Employee #2: “Overdramatization of typical, yet tedious homeowner tasks.”
Employee #1:”Wow, sounds like you had a productive weekend!”
Employee #2: “I’m so tired/beat/overworked from lawn work/house work/spring tasks!”
Employee #1: “I agree, as I also did a number of the tasks that you mentioned.”
Employee #2: “But I did more and mine was worse.  Woe is me.  Exaggerated sigh!”
Employee #1: “Uh-huh….”

Another example
Employee #1: “Wow co-worker, you’re rubbing your temples for the umpteeth time this morning, are you okay?
Employee #2: “It’s just this mess I put myself in.  I shouldn’t have done what I did and now I am going to walk around looking distraught until someone offers to assist in my hole digging.”
Employee #1: “I have to go over here now.”

The Televison Drama: Part Two

me: So while you’re buying a TV, I think that I’ll head over to Olive Garden and have a martini.
him, hurt: What?  Why?  You don’t want to go shopping with me?
me: Let me tell you what’s going to happen.  You’re going to go to do on-line research, then go Circuit City, look at two or three tvs.  Then you’re going to go to Best Buy, you’re going to look at the TVs there, realize that they are different then the ones you already researched.  (he nods) You’re going to ask the Best Buy sales rep the same questions you asked the guy at  Circuit City. (he nods) Then you’re going to come home, research the new TVs.  Then you’re going to go to a few other stores, ask the same questions, go back to Circuit City and buy the first TV that you decided on.
him: Wait, how–
me: We’ve been together for six years, I know how you shop.
him: So true!