holy shit it’s snowing everyone forget how to drive.

Given the number of items scrubbed from my to-do list, here is the ULTRA-EXCITING (yet, photo free) rundown.

Friday
* Now, I don’t know if it’s because I look like someone who would not collect antiquities or what, but, Friday night began my reign of AuctionTown.
Whilst scoping out the potential booty, I think EVERYONE working the event chatted with me for a few moments.  Basically chatter about what this is and how this goes, etc.
Even the owner of the auction house talked with me for a few minutes.  Neat.
I went in to get markings from items and determine how much I wanted to spend on what.  Also, I like to play a game where I do not bid on things, but try to price them out (a la “Cash in the Attic”) and see how I do.
* On my way to “grandma”s house (called grandma because she’s Steve grandma), I pit-stopped at the tattoo shop (aside: weeeeee! Two days!) and met my artist.  And then the shame set in.
Me: So, yeah, I mean, the idea was right, but the execution left a bit to be desired.
Her: Uh-hmmm.
Me: So, you know, I mean, I know it’s permanent and everything, but if you could like, make the petals less pointy and the top less tall…
Her: More petals?
me: um, well, I mean, whatever.
her: Was this a cover-up the first time?
me: no.
her: Oh.  Hmm.  I’ll see what I can do.
* Dinner on the water with MIL.  Yeah!  Stuffed peppers and fish!  Boo! Piss poor service.  Did I mention the peppers?
* Comfort The Beans who was deep in her sorrow over Dad leaving for the weekend.

Saturday
* Meet my court at the auction.  Countless “YOU’RE HERE!!!”s.  Sweet.
* Win three items: Green velvet/rhinestone bakelite purse $12.50, Lot of silver plated things $2.50, 1901 Pan American Exposition Playing cards with box $50.00 (proxy purchase)
* In the “pricing game” I correctly assessed three out of the four lots we stayed for.  Win.
* Go to lunch with ‘lissa at Max’s which was pleasantly surprising.
* Enter the “wrong side of town” to go to Buffalo ReUse/ReSource.  “New” medicine cabinet with mirror $5, Five drawer pulls $8, “Beer Money” ceramic jar $1, Window for “project” $6
* Coffee.
* Stumble across Habitat for Humanity, ReStore.  Double chrome towel bar $6, Mrs.TeaPot $4(payback), 2 quarts of paint $3.00
* Fawn over 5,000,000 colors of paint at Lowe’s.
* Drop off ‘lissa with dowery of animal crackers.
* Remove “old” medicine cabinet, take off shower curtain, wipe walls, prime bathroom twice.
* Realize it’s 11pm.
* Sleep

Sunday
* Paint walls, twice.
* Clean kitchen, including dishes.  Return beer which has been on the kitchen table for over a week to it’s proper location.
* Feel guilt (only some) that I didn’t “brave the crowds” for the French Connection.  Opted to lug around a BOWLING BALL for basketball people to sign.  (?what’s a basketball?)  This effort was met with a whiny, “Pppppppphil’s wife went for himmmmm” to which the rebuttal was, “If it was that important, you should have been more clear OR not gone to Montreal.”
* Locate oxyclean spray, which is by far, the BEST thing since, um.  Well, it’s good.
* Grocery shop.
* Saw into wall to fit “new” cabinet which was measured at ReStore as per Steve’s specs.
* Get bonked in noggen with metal cabinet.
* Install Cabinet.
* Double coat pre-existing wall unit.
* Realize it’s 10pm.
* Sleep.

Today
* a weekend of squatting and stretching has left me achy.

Things I have (already) scheduled to do this weekend:
- Scope out the auction I’m attending tomorrow
- Potentially meet up with MIL for dinner
- Attend pre-scoped and researched auction
- Attend “Farewell to The Aud” and obtain autographs for The Mister
- Hit up Buffalo ReUse with ‘lissa and hopefully obtain a new medicine cabinet/mirror, switch plates, doorknobs and drawer pulls.

Things I REALLY should do this weekend:
- Finish getting the yard stuff into storage
- Figure out what colors I’m painting the bathroom
- Winterize the windows
- Switch closet contents
- Finish the ump-teenth pile of laundry
- Clean the cat boxes
- Plant CatOats (like catnip but without the stoning)

Things I would like to do this weekend:
- Relearn how to crochet
- Obtain more work pants
- Clean out the car before the snow comes
- Make some food from scratch
- Lose three pounds
- Sleep
- Read a book with The B on my lap
- Find some awesome estate sales
- Paint the bathroom (read: completely)

Sunday 12:30 pm Update

- Scope out the auction I’m attending tomorrow
- Potentially meet up with MIL for dinner
- Attend pre-scoped and researched auction

- Attend “Farewell to The Aud” and obtain autographs for The Mister
- Hit up Buffalo ReUse with ‘lissa and hopefully obtain a new medicine cabinet/mirror, switch plates, doorknobs and drawer pulls.
- Finish getting the yard stuff into storage
- Figure out what colors I’m painting the bathroom
- Winterize the windows
- Switch closet contents
- Finish the ump-teenth pile of laundry

- Clean the cat boxes
- Plant CatOats (like catnip but without the stoning)
- Relearn how to crochet
- Obtain more work pants
- Clean out the car before the snow comes
- Make some food from scratch
- Lose three pounds
- Sleep
- Read a book with The B on my lap
- Find some awesome estate sales
- Paint the bathroom (read: completely)
Bonus items: cleaned 1st floor, dishes, hardware installation

The Mister: “Remind me to stop at the bank”
me: “Stop at the bank”
“I mean later.”
“Is it later now?”
“No.”
-time passes-
me, while en route to the bank:“Stop at the bank.”
“On it boss.”
“Aren’t you going [to Montreal, Quebec] in like, three more days?”
“Yes, but I need money now.”
“Fur what?”
“Well, bowling and I owe a guy at work twenty bucks.”
“YOU owe someone money?  Praytell?”
“I bought you a Thanksgiving gift.”
“OOOHHHH!  Wait, since when are we supposed to give gifts for Thanksgiving?”
“No.  I just got you something.”
“OH! Is it an alpaca?!”
“Nope.”
“Is it two alpacas?!”
“No.”
“Aw.”
“By the time I got there, they were all sold out of alpacas.“
“Drat.  Is it popcorn?”
“No.  It’s not food.”
“Is it a book?!”
“No.”
“Would you tell me if it was a book?”
“Yes.”
“But it’s not.”
“No.”
“Is it a kitten?”
“Dear god!  NO!”
“Was a kitten?”
“Mmmmaaaybbee.”
“Is it a box of second-grade beef hearts?”
(unconvincingly) “Uh-nooooo.”
“Is it something that I want?”
“No.”
*raspberry*

Well, by this time next week, I will be freshly re-inked.
I’m more excited than nervous, which like, never happens to me.
How excited am I?  Well, I dreamed about it last night.

Cue: soft, gentle, sleeping music
I walk into the shop and I’m hardly even in the chair and the process begins.
My parents are there and Dad ends up paying for my session.  (reality check: I am 29.  I would never expect my parents to pay for my modifications.)
It hurts 100% less than I remember.
For some reason, my shirt is all the way off (reality check: it’d just need be tucked under my bra as my tat is on my hipish) and the artist says that she can fix the discoloring of my shoulder.
Before I know it, she’s making swoopy rainclouds from my spine to the middle of my shoulder blade (reality check x2: I am not getting any new ink.  I would not be brave enough to ink my shoulder blade.) I see the white and gray inks splattering onto my arm; I have my arms crossed under my chin.
Meanwhile, I fall asleep.  While being [dreaming about being] tattoed.
When I wake up, my original ink is corrected to how it should have been the first time.

Ever since seeing ADORABLE animal crackers on “101cookbooks”, I’ve had a hankering to make them.
I found another recipe seeing as I wasn’t feeling the almond meal, coconut products or cane sugar.
After some tweeking, I was ready to make animals!

"animal crackers in my oven..."

And well, in typical StephanieFashion, they looked a little more like a field of mangled zoo animal corpses.

"Oh god! Please! Help us!!!:

And, well, the good people at Wilton decided that an Ark would make cute cookies and while they were right…

animal blobs

However they may look, Bailey was more then willing to run QC.

wazzat Beans?

such a good employee

Underfunded Zoo Crackers
2 cups sugar
2 cups oats (I used instant)
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup buttermilk (and a little more)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups flour (I used whole wheat)

to do:
* Mix sugar, oats and soda until blended.
* Slowly add shortening, mixing until crumbly
* Slowly add buttermilk and vanilla
* Slowly add flour until lumpy
* Add a bit more buttermilk until a thick/firm dough is formed
* Lightly coat a cutting surface and rolling pin with flour
* Roll some dough out and cut shapes
* Transfer cut-outs to a WELL GREASED baking sheet.  Seriously, these things will stick like dog snot on window if you don’t properly lubricate.
* Bake at 350 for 8-15 minutes.  They’re done when they are brown and a firm to the touch.
* Transfer to a rack for cooling.

1)
After what could only be described as MONTHS of putting-offedness (Exactly six months, actually) I have decided that this weekend is Re-Paint the Ugly Bathroom weekend.  I have not yet decided on colors: two?  Three?  Green?  Green-blue?  Blue?  Brown?  Light brown?
I also have no fixtures on the vanity (still).
Should I paint the vanity?
Let’s consult a martini.

2)
Ms. Pronoun has an serious case “OverShareitis”.
The manifestation was, um, overwhelming yesterday and I’m formulating ways to tell her “look, that’s not something that you should be sharing with people in the workplace.” (but sounding less like a bitch, natch).
Oh, the things she has told me… remember, I’ve been here two months… her sex life, how she likes to take “it”, dirty cell phone photos/jokes, “female” issues, student loan debt, money issues.  Oh, tip’o'the iceburg.

3)
Starting to notice the Sirius/XM merger.  My favorite station (”new wave”, Fred on 44) is even better than it was before… thank goodness someone is finally giving early industrial the props it deserves.

4)
Next Wednesday I’m getting my tat re-inked!
Seeing as she’s ten years old (holy crap!  what?) she’s due for a touch up.
Not really that nervous about it… still banking that the artist is going to be able to fix my ink up.
There’s nothing aesthetically wrong with my ink, it’s well, the idea was a wilted daisy and the photo I found was a purple coneflower.  Subsequently, my ink looks more cornflower (pointed petals, larger yellow/pollen thing, purple leaves) than daisy (round, white petals, flat pollen thing).
The un-herbal call it a daisy, the trained eye knows it is an echinashia.

HiJacked Chili
1 packet of Chili Mix of your choice
1 pound (more of less, depending how you like it) beef (or protein of choice)
3/4 Bottle of “spicy” pasta sauce (this chef used “Wegmans DiValio”)
1 can seasoned Chili Beans, undrained
Frozen corn to taste
Jalapenos

1. Add all items (less jalapenos) to pot and simmer on low for the better part of an hour.  Stir occasionally.
1a. My beef was frozen, so I dumped everything (less the jalapenos) into the pot to defrost/cook.
2. 20-30 minutes before you’re ready to serve, stir in jalapenos.  Continue to simmer.
2a. The Mister added Frank’s Hot Sauce (for taste) to his.
3. Serve.

Having retreated from the awesomeness that is Target (”Oh, Target, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways!  Method Laundry Products, discounted books, gift bags, durable clothing, sleepy pants, domo for Halloween, Archer Farms…”), I look at my [paper] tea cup.
“Ohhhhh, they put a smiley face next to my name!  See! ‘Stephanie :)’!  Bet you don’t have a smiley face on your cup.”
“You’re right.  I have a phone number.”
“Didn’t that dude make your coffee.”
“Whatever.”

Most of you who know me know that I’m not overly religious.
Or conventionally religious.

(You can choose to follow the blather after the jump)

So, I guess, my question is (and “preachy” answers will be erased because I said so), with so many unfair, unkind, awful, wrong, painful, unjust, et al in the world, where is “The” higher power?
Yes yes, “close one door, open another”, I get it, I get it.  “Everything happens for a reason”, blah blah.

The movie below (bottom below) seems to be making it’s rounds and I finally took six minutes to watch it.
Intrigued, I found the site that the family started and they’re all “we were blessed” and “what god gives, god takes away” and I just CAN NOT see how you (being the general “you” and not “you, you”) can be okay with that.
You go to church, you read the Bible, you say your prayers, give your penance, go to confession, are kind to others and then God “blesses” you with a family, only to take it away, to cause you such pain??!

Perhaps it’s a bit of Old Stephanie that doesn’t really want to leave yet, but I can’t get how you can be jipped by God (whichever you believe in) and still go to church and “That’s okay, it was God’s doing!”.
So, if God wasn’t God and was like, I dunno, a crazy person, and they caused some horrible harm to your child/mother/etc., you’d still be “That’s okay!  They’re crazy!”?!?!
Wasn’t Man created from God?  In his vision?
(And we COULD get into the whole “(Insert horrible thing here) was nothing compared to Christ’s pain when he took on the sins of THE ENTIRE WORLD, FOREVER!” but we’re not.)

I don’t want you to think that I’m mocking you or disbelieving your beliefs.  I don’t think you would have made it this far if you were really offended… but how do you forgive and forget?
Seriously.
Not wanting a flame war (and squashing that as soon as it gets started) explain it to me.