635am: Wake up, get in shower
715am: Exit shower, realizing that you fell asleep in the shower. Ask husband how much shit he’s going to give you for staying home.
718am: Call into work while on your way to grocery to pick up medicine*
737am: Realize that you’ve been sitting on the floor in front of the Benedryl for 10 minutes.
759am: Take two Benedryl and some ginger ale. Retreat to bed.
130pm: Parched, go downstairs for ginger ale. Eat some ravioli. Discuss state of illness with husband. He had issues assembling condensed soup.
215pm: Pass out.
520pm: Wake up, make tacos.
615pm: Pass out.
800pm: Nightmares start.
930pm: Husband wakes you up to go to bed.
932pm: Pass out.
630am Wednesday: Wake up thankful that your body has it’s cool to go to work.
*Q:”Why don’t you just go to the doctor and get antibiotics?”
A: Because they never work and the side effects are almost as unpleasant as the infliction.