As you may know by now, Wednesday night is Slow Cooker Night at mi casa.
In a never-ending quest to change up the menu for a man who can (and would) eat chicken wings seven days a week, two meals a day, for a month (or more), I opted to try Beer Pork Chops.

Steve and I have been together for the better part of seven years and in this time, I have NEVER cooked pork.  The closest I came is bacon and, well, if you were subjected to the bacon muffins, you know how that came out.
Fact is, I hate pork.  Granted I’m not big on animal carcass in the first place, but pork and Stephanie do not mesh.  Unless it’s bacon, then we’re kinda cool.

So I set-up the slow cooker with the following:

  • Pork chops (I made four, thinking that Steve’s classmate would be eating as well, so all proportions are for four chops)
  • 4 Molson Canadians (I Steve suggest halving this)
  • 1 can of cream of chicken soup, whisked into the beer
  • 1 packet of sodium-free beef bouillon (you can use 2 cubes or chicken or any combination)
  • The end of a jar of jalapenos
  • A hearty amount of Frank’s Hot Sauce
  • Sprinklings of the following: garlic/onion/chili powder, chili flakes, montreal seasoning, seasoned salt, pepper

I thought I set the cooker for 8 hours on low (same thing I thought I did last week).

Good thing I went home.
The cooker was blinking like it hadn’t been set at all (thought I could have sworn that I heard it click on).
I placed the chops and liquid into a pan and brought to a boil.
Seeing as I don’t know when chops are done, I stuck one with a thermometer and it went to 140 degrees.  The chops had been boiling for a good ten minutes.
According to the thermometer, the boiling liquid was also 140 degrees and the thermometer now resides in the trash.
“How do you tell when pork is done?”, I ask Steve.
“When they’re done.”  Which is the same answer that I got from his friend, who then changed his story to say that it’s when they’re gray.  (how totally appetizing!)

According to Steve, the chops were done, but a bit too beery.  Imagine that.  Too Beery.  I never thought the day would come.

Stephanie overdoes things.